Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Affirmative action in basketball

stilts for short players
  [vote for,

Allow shorter players to wear stilts that make them all exactly 6'8' not only for the sake of removing unfair genetic advantages but also it would make slam dunks a lot more frequent if every player had the ability to do it.
bob, Jan 07 2018

Similar idea Height-Irrelevant_20Basketball
[hippo, Jan 07 2018]

Very similar idea Stilted_20Basketball
[hippo, Jan 07 2018]


       (2.032 meters for those poor fellows who didn't grow up with freedom units)   

       If a player is over 6'8" does he get leg reduction surgery or do we just raise the basket and the minimum height to his height?
Voice, Jan 07 2018

       What if you discarded the stilts, but made the basket bob up and down depending on who last touched the ball?
pertinax, Jan 07 2018

       The obvious solution is a dynamic basketball court.   

       Players have transponders in the soles of their footwear. The floor is a matrix of fast-acting actuators. Using image recognition, the system predicts the footfall of the player and varies the "lift" on the actuators so that the level under their feet is constant wherever they move.   

       As soon as they move away, the actuators return to their default level, which will be halfway between the tallest and the shortest player, thus giving the fastest response time.   

       Thus a level playing field is achieved ...
8th of 7, Jan 07 2018

       //Affirmative action in basketball// Yes, this is a dumb idea.
MaxwellBuchanan, Jan 07 2018

       Since basketball provides niche employment for athletes of very much above average height - for whom life opportunities are otherwise somewhat limited - and the idea would erode those opportunities, is this not a form of negative discrimination ?   

       Cui bono ?
8th of 7, Jan 07 2018

       // Cui bono ?// Is habuit in matrimonio Cher
MaxwellBuchanan, Jan 07 2018

       "De mortuis ... "
8th of 7, Jan 07 2018

       No, [Max], it's a dumb title on top of some great annos that would make basketball actually watchable if they were all implemented.
normzone, Jan 07 2018

       UpShot Basketball:   

       Lower the basket to within a few feet of the ground, then require a score to be made by throwing the ball upwards through the hoop, instead of making that idiotic down dunking motion. This change also gives a distinct advantage to dwarfish players.
xenzag, Jan 07 2018

       The thing that gets me about basketball is very similar to the things that get me about football, cricket and other ball sports.   

       That thing - in the case of basketball - is that you have groups of grown men who devote their entire existence to being able to put a ball through a hoop. They develop great skill at this - I don't doubt that. But, at the end of the day, their net output as a member of the world's most advanced species is putting balls through hoops. I think it's fair to say that I am not designed to appreciate sport.
MaxwellBuchanan, Jan 07 2018

       // I am not designed to appreciate sport. //   

       Most sports evolved to exploit the human male's hunting instincts; target acquisition and tracking, running and chasing, combat.   

       Milennia ago, primitive, grunting proto-hominids survived by a mixture of hunting and gathering; catching herbivores was a very valuable source of fat and protein for the tribe.   

       Now, primitive, grunting proto-hominids survive by moving a ball round a fixed playing area; playing professional sport is a very valuable source of money for the family.   

       This also neatly accounts for the essentially tribal behavior of supporters; they are encouraging the "hunters" to achieve a "kill" that will "benefit" everyone. Successful hunters inevitably are accorded higher status within the tribe.   

       Thus, when not hunting, they would generally be permitted more leisure and less drudgery; the catch being that when they did hunt, they would be expected to succeed. Should they consistently fail to do so, then they're in trouble - public opinion can be so fickle.   

       Over time, professional sport has elided neatly from a "practice for the hunt" activity to a branch of the entertainment industry, but the same socio-economic factors operate, albeit somewhat less obviously.   

       Thus, it is possible to deduce that you are not a primitive, grunting proto-hominid, and rather than saying "I am not designed to appreciate sport", it would be more accurate to say "I have evolved beyond the point where I appreciate sport, or perceive it as relevant or useful, other than a neat and effective means of separating proles from their money ".
8th of 7, Jan 07 2018

       Yeah that too.
MaxwellBuchanan, Jan 07 2018


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