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Air Demolition Derby

Get old jets that are barely flying, put a bunch of daredevil pilots in them and have them try to knock the other guys out of the sky.
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An aerial version of those auto demolition derbies where old cars drive around in an arena trying to wreck the competition.

You'd need some rules, can only hit wing tips and empennage bits, but it would be quite something to watch.

The spectator stands would be a safe distance away from the action so everybody would probably watch with binoculars and a series of large view screens projecting live video shot with camera equipped drones.

doctorremulac3, Feb 13 2020

A bit of history. https://en.wikipedi...wiki/Aerial_ramming
[doctorremulac3, Feb 13 2020]

Scene from The Great Waldo Pepper https://www.youtube...watch?v=G8mRcABtrTo
[Chairborne Hero, Feb 14 2020]

Scenes from a video game https://www.youtube...watch?v=67btkzGSRZs
[Chairborne Hero, Feb 14 2020]

Ohka https://en.wikipedi...Yokosuka_MXY-7_Ohka
"Cherry Blosom" Very poetic way to die... [8th of 7, Feb 14 2020]

[link]






       I'm in! I'll take an A-10 thankyouverymuch.
bs0u0155, Feb 13 2020
  

       Harrier GR9 ... <snigger/>
8th of 7, Feb 13 2020
  

       Is this a slowest aircraft competition?
bs0u0155, Feb 13 2020
  

       Possibly; in the absence of weaponry, sheer agility may be a distinct advantage....
8th of 7, Feb 13 2020
  

       This would be awesome.   

       I like the idea of safety rules, seeing as how they work so well in car demolition derbies. But, just in case, maybe modify the planes to have ejector seats.
MaxwellBuchanan, Feb 13 2020
  

       One word: Biplanes. (link)
Chairborne Hero, Feb 14 2020
  

       That's the same word twice, actually...   

       // modify the planes to have ejector seats. //   

       Do you have any idea of... oh, never mind.
8th of 7, Feb 14 2020
  

       //Do you have any idea of... oh, never mind.//   

       [marked-for-tagline]
pertinax, Feb 14 2020
  

       8th, I thought you would point out Kessler's Fokker was a TRIplane. I lob a softball and you don't even swing at it.
Chairborne Hero, Feb 14 2020
  

       When it's the last inning and the bases are loaded, that's the time to pick the pitch to swing at*.   

       *Thankfully, we know nothing about baseball or softball, but a little effort with a search engine turned up that sentence.
8th of 7, Feb 14 2020
  

       8th - That's cricket, I guess.   

       Speaking of games and tying back to aerial demolition derby, search engine turned up a clip (link) from a video game. I didn't have the patience to watch the whole thing.
Chairborne Hero, Feb 14 2020
  

       In 1945, the Japanese launched tai-arai ("body-bashing") attacks against B-29's, with very limited success; the Superfortresses were heavily armed, flew in defensive "boxes", but most of all too high for air defenses to be effective.   

       It was an airborne version of the Shimpu (kamikaze) attac, and fared no better. If they'd had their own version of the Reichenberg (examples were shipped to Japan) or adapted the Ohka, they might have had more success. The Me163 would have been equally... interesting.... in that rôle.
8th of 7, Feb 14 2020
  

       Think that was a dud and speaking rocket powered death machines, the Japanese had a rocket powered plane called the Cherry Blossom (way to come up with a scary name guys) that was supposed to be released from a Kate medium bomber and fly into US ships. On a humorous note, the first squadron of these was shot down in its entirety on the way to their first attack. None of the "cherry blossoms" even got a chance to launch. I'm not aware of any other attempts to use these.
doctorremulac3, Feb 14 2020
  

       //the planes to have ejector seats - Max// I'm sure there's a place for the idea of Ejector Seat Jousting.
xenzag, Feb 14 2020
  

       I'm sure there was a film where a pilot ejected, and emerged through the floor of the plane directly above him.
MaxwellBuchanan, Feb 14 2020
  

       //emerged through the floor of the plane directly above him//   

       Hot Shots.
bs0u0155, Feb 14 2020
  

       Just occurred to me the Japanese were very poetic with their naming of stuff. Divine wind for suicidal death bombers, the cherry blossom rocket powered manned bombs. We called our fighters Hellcats, Lightnings, Avengers etc. Seems we were motivated more by anger than aesthetic.
doctorremulac3, Feb 14 2020
  

       Perhaps that's why they lost ?   

       // Cherry Blossom //   

       Yes, that's the translation of "Ohka". <link>   

       There were single nd twin-seat training versions produced. The irony of a flight trainer for a suicide weapon is something of an oxymoron. Nevertheless, numerous kamikaze pilots survived their early missions, because they could not find a "worthy target" - in which case they had instructions to return to fly another day.
8th of 7, Feb 14 2020
  

       "Well, private Sumimasen, that was an outstandingly good landing. I'm afraid I'll have to ask you to leave the kamikaze squadron."
MaxwellBuchanan, Feb 14 2020
  

       //Nevertheless, numerous kamikaze pilots survived their early missions, because they could not find a "worthy target" - in which case they had instructions to return to fly another day.//   

       (air wing commander) Lt Remulacson! You have returned from your kamikazi mission alive! Explain yourself!   

       (Lt Remulacson) Sir, I was unable to find a worthy target.   

       (air wing commander) Intel reports that pilots in your squadron sank two destroyers, damaged 3 aircraft carriers and one battleship!   

       (Lt Remulacson) Yes, OK choices for them but not up to my high standards. I just have to go with my superior kamikaze pilot instinct on such things. The target has to be perfect. This just wasn't that day.   

       (air wing commander) This is the 5th such mission that "just wasn't that day."   

       Hey, this needs my constant laugh track generator.
doctorremulac3, Feb 14 2020
  

       Sounds like the "Today is not that day !" meme is due for another outing ...
8th of 7, Feb 14 2020
  
      
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