Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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"It's behind you ..."
  [vote for,

The expense of putting a smart speaker in every room to provide access to Alexa whenever and wherever required is considerable. BorgCo have therefore developed the Alexarachnid. This consists of a large tarantula-like animatronic spider, with a hollow in the top of its abdomen - complete with power connection- to carry one of those puck-sized smart speakers.

Its task is to scuttle along after its designated human, like a sort of tiny, insectile, slightly less malevolent Luggage, always staying within earshot, and thus ready to hear and respond to voice commands.

There is sufficient onboard intelligence for it to recognise and exploit electrical outlets, so it can "feed" by climbing up a wall and inserting its mandibles into the sockets. Thus, no special charging dock is needed, athough the device is supplied with a tent-like "web" where it lurks when there are no designated humans around.

Specifically designed to cause those with a spider phobia to freak out, and to act as powerful aversion therapy* to those overly-reliant, indeed obsessed, with voice assistants.

*Unfortunately, it seems the Ludovico Technique is no longer funded by the vast majority of HMOs.

8th of 7, Dec 07 2020

Roomba Roach Roomba_20Roach
Prior Art; the inspiration for this idea. [8th of 7, Dec 07 2020]

"I Always Do What Teddy Says" https://openpublish...-do-what-teddy-says
Prior Art [8th of 7, Jan 02 2021]

Inside Adam Savage's Cave: Awesome Robot Spider! https://www.youtube...watch?v=-vVblGlIMgw
[Voice, Apr 05 2021]


       Put it on the floor and stand back as Roomba Roach munches it up, then sucks away all the bits.
xenzag, Dec 07 2020

       Actually, we envisage Roomba Roach in a sort of symbiotc, co-operative arrangement with Alexarachnid.   

       // perhaps a face-hugger? //   

       Oh, don't think THAT idea hasn't been thought of several times...
8th of 7, Dec 07 2020

       Dune 2020, virtual assistant in virtual reality style: "Ok Glass, target the spider in the corner."
RayfordSteele, Dec 07 2020

       (loud panicked scream)
"I'm sorry, I couldn't understand that. Could you please repeat the question?" while it turns and approaches in a menacing way...
Actually (now that I think about it...), a "scream response" for smart speakers would be a fun (heh...) sub-routine to install. If it hears a scream, the house lights and computer screens flicker, the doors all lock, all speakers in the house emit a low rumble, etc...
neutrinos_shadow, Dec 07 2020

       Only if it has slavering jaws, a creepy scuttle, and highly variable speed.
Voice, Dec 07 2020

       // slavering jaws, a creepy scuttle, and highly variable speed //   

       Of course it does; and glowing red eyes. But they only glow dimly, and dependent on ambient illumination, so you're never quite sure if they're glowing or not or it's just a trick of the light - until they move, at night.   

       It can move with vegetable slowness, delicately waving one leg at a time, suddenly transform into a terrifyingly fast run, and then freeze into total immobility.   

       It doesn't slaver as such, but it could perhaps have a way of making glistening drops of venom appear on its fangs.
8th of 7, Dec 07 2020

       And even more sinister ... <link>
8th of 7, Jan 02 2021

       take a bun for the title. +   

       I like spiders and I don’t like voice activated nonsense.
xandram, Jan 03 2021

       Maybe an AI can calculate/compute the right spoken pattern, at a surface, that will produce the right vibrations. Talk to the arachnids. The fly is caught to the far left, no, now to the right...
wjt, Apr 09 2021


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