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All the King's Men

A Bond movie with an ensemble cast
  (+7, -1)
(+7, -1)
  [vote for,

I'm not sure if it would be possible, perhaps through a combination of old footage and modern AI/deepfake technology (Digitally animated perhaps?), but I'd love to see a movie with all the actors who have played James Bond working together, each as a different Double O, numbers 1-7. Connery, Lazenby, Moore, Dalton, Brosnan, Craig, and yes, even Niven.
21 Quest, Sep 02 2022

For [Voice] The_20Family_20That...20Together_2e_2e_2e
[21 Quest, Sep 03 2022]

Epic Rap Battles: Bond vs Powers https://www.youtube...watch?v=Iy7xDGi5lp4
[Voice, Sep 03 2022]

Review https://www.bbc.com...ked-risk-free-ideas
"Full of half-baked ideas" [4and20, Sep 05 2022]

Brand... James Brand. https://blog.hollyw...e-of-brands-in-bond
[doctorremulac3, Sep 07 2022]

Probably the clumsiest, most obvious. https://www.youtube...watch?v=J5G55TF2zlo
FF to :40 [doctorremulac3, Sep 07 2022]

Two Ponds, I mean... Two Sheds. https://www.youtube...watch?v=CA8xTGP_M8g
[doctorremulac3, Sep 11 2022]

Then they turn enforcers https://theweek.com...-uk-sparking-debate
against anti-monarchists? [4and20, Sep 13 2022]


       The title clinches it.
Voice, Sep 02 2022

       I'll bun that, governer! [+]
whatrock, Sep 02 2022

       Mike Myers?
Voice, Sep 02 2022

       + Sure, But needs a Scooby Doo ending!
xandram, Sep 02 2022

       Definitely Mike Myers [+].
pertinax, Sep 03 2022

       You know someone will demand that the next Bond be a trans woman.
RayfordSteele, Sep 03 2022

       [Ray] makes a good point. Someone would make a version where Moore seduces Craig for information or just for laughs, which isn't so out of keeping with the actors' proclivities. Lazenby said something about the new Bonds looking effeminate.
4and20, Sep 03 2022

       I would almost be offended if they didn't!
21 Quest, Sep 03 2022

       Bob Holness.
po, Sep 06 2022


Voice, Sep 06 2022


pertinax, Sep 06 2022

       Wouldn't like a gay James Bond any more than I'd like a straight Liberace or Little Richard.   

       Back in the day occassionally I'd have a makeup artist get me ready for camera stuff (don't ask) and the guys would always put on a "straight" act (yes, all the Hollywood makeup artists were gay, get over it). "Okay bro, turn your head a little bit. Yea, how about those chicks? Sure do like those tits am I right?" and I'd say "All good bro, we're gay friendly here." and they'd go "Oh, thank ghod! Some of these metal bands are incredibly knuckle dragging. You never know.".   

       James Bond is straight, Little Richard is gay, that's the way it should be.   

       [+] by the way. Know what this would rule for? An advert for martinis. All the Bonds get together at a bar, talk about who the best Bond was, the bartender comes up and asks what they're drinking and... well... you know the line.
doctorremulac3, Sep 06 2022

       Ohh! They all get together at the bar, talk about how their respective movies were the best mildly jabbing each other, bartender asks how they want their martinis and they all just look at him with one eyebrow raised. (you say the line in your head) Then it just shows the bottle: "Remulac Gin, best served... well, you know."
doctorremulac3, Sep 06 2022

       // I'd have a makeup artist //   

       I never wore makeup when I was on television, but then I wasn't trying to meet Hollywood makeup artists.
4and20, Sep 07 2022

       I wasn't trying to meet Hollywood makeup artists, I was getting paid lots of money and it wasn't TV, it was film. If there's a hundred thousand dollar budget on a shoot everybody has makeup.   

       Weird that you'd think anybody who has makeup put on is out for some gay sex. Guess that's your thing, which is fine, not judging.
doctorremulac3, Sep 07 2022

       I never wore makeup when I was on television either.   

       The fact that I have never been on television is in my opinion completely irrelevant.   

       That got... a bit out of hand fellas. So I cleaned up the page a bit. That is all. 4and20, I'll thank you to keep such comments off my posts please, that was just ugly.
21 Quest, Sep 07 2022

       Agreed, thank you 21. This post is much improved now.   

       So getting back to it, I’ve been testing the commercial idea and at the part where all the James Bonds look at the bartender with one eyebrow raised when he asks “How would you like your martini?” everyone I’ve tried this on has said “Shaken, not stirred.” un-prompted. Try it yourself. I believe that response is close to 100%.   

       Wonder if you can sell a commercial idea. I’ll split it with you.
doctorremulac3, Sep 07 2022

       // commercial idea //   

       Check with Danjaq LLC, they own all the marketing rights for James Bond stuff. Heineken has done some Bond connected adverts with them.
a1, Sep 07 2022

       But could you make money from copywriting the script? My guess is theoretically, but actually pulling it off...   

       Would be a great commercial though. And yes, the owners of the James Bond intellectual property would have to be the ones making most of the money.   

       But just occurred to me, Bond endorsing any particular brand of gin? I wouldn't like that. Bond selling out? Naaa.   

doctorremulac3, Sep 07 2022

       They own the rights to the characters, and any scripts that include them. That was a major point of contention in the production of Never Say Never Again, and I think a few other non-Eon James Bond movies. The litigation got ridiculous. I don't think there's any way to submit the idea to them without risking them stealing it outright. You'd basically be at their mercy as to whether they feel obliged to compensate you.   

       Doc, you mean like he did with Dom Perignon champagne? Or Aston Martin cars? Product placement was insane in Bond movies lol
21 Quest, Sep 07 2022

       Huh. Good point.   

       Tell you what, you approach them, we'll split whatever credit they give us. Maybe say the script is... ten grand.   

       Actually not kidding, I'd take 5gs for it, would you? Let's contact the company on a1 found. What've we got to lose?   

       There's also some fun in saying "I did that" when certain things pop up. People get this "Huh? Are you delusional?" look and you tell the story. Sometimes if they don't believe it it's even more fun. Not sure why.
doctorremulac3, Sep 07 2022

       // Product placement was insane in Bond movies //   

a1, Sep 07 2022

       Whoa, you're right a1. Was I ever wrong about Bond not "selling out", guess I wasn't paying attention.   

       He should have said "Brand.... James Brand." Jame's Brand maybe? (link)   

       Okay, this needs to go out to all the gin / vermouth (or whatever's in a martini) manufacturers, let them bid on it. James Bond is basically the ultimate brand mascot.
doctorremulac3, Sep 07 2022

       //Product placement was insane in Bond movies//   

       Yes, the movie _makers_ put product placement in your face, but the Bond _character_ wouldn't overtly champion Omega over other watch brands, and didn't turn his nose up at the BMW in 'Tomorrow Never Dies'.
Tulaine, Sep 10 2022

       Well, with my commercial idea, the Bonds would never even mention the product name.
doctorremulac3, Sep 10 2022

       Tulaine, but he DID overtly champion champagne brands like Dom Perignon. Connery's Bond did, anyway. It was actually kinda weird because he never mentioned a favored vodka brand, despite his love of martinis.
21 Quest, Sep 10 2022

       Well I think James Bonds’ favorite vodka should be revealed as Remulac 007. I think that’s how you spell multiple James Bonds possessive.
doctorremulac3, Sep 10 2022

       If I were feeling bereft of creativity I could make a 008 spy movie featuring Mr. Pond and not get sued, right?
Voice, Sep 10 2022

       Selling Pond's Cold Cream.   

       Gal's removing her makeup after a romantic session with our hero, he hands her a jar of Pond's cold cream and says "Pond's. Jaime Ponds."   

       So his name is Jaimi Ponds and he always carries a jar of Ponds cold cream for his dates. Why did he say his name while handing her a jar of cold cream? That's the mystery that makes you want to watch the whole series and buy a t-shirt.
doctorremulac3, Sep 10 2022

       Mr Pond is what my neighbors have called me since I put a fish pond in my yard lol
21 Quest, Sep 10 2022

       Kind of like "Two Sheds Jackson" eh?   

       (if that's too obcure I'll post a link)
doctorremulac3, Sep 10 2022

       Quite. I can't rid of it, or I'll be Mr Pondless.
21 Quest, Sep 10 2022

       Okay, thought you'd get that. Jolly good.
doctorremulac3, Sep 10 2022

       Ahh, what the heck. I'll put it up anyway.
doctorremulac3, Sep 11 2022


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