h a l f b a k e r y
My hatstand runneth over
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As a male nurse, Im a little concerned by the whole groping
gripping the land. I have a good reason to be. For if, when astroll
the park, I come across a person, be it a little old lady, a man of
interest to me, or a lithe young nubile wench, choking on some
I am legally obliged to intervene and perform the
Heimlich manoeuvre. Oh yes, no bystanding for me. I could easily
get struck-off for tiptoeing by.
But now Im in a legal minefield.
Because The Heimlich involves grabbing the subject from behind
cupping/ squeezing her - no thats wrong, not her bazoops..Its
like under her ribs ? something in that area. I better take another
four day course. But the point being, this kind of action can easily
misconstrued to a non-expert observer. Have you ever seen pond
frogs mating? Then if the Heimlich doesnt work the next step is to
put her over your knee and spank her little tush. Oh, I know some
people suggest a firm pat on the back. Either could save her
adolescent life. But both can look very bad, especially the
one. And she probably hasnt had a chance to sign any consent
So whats a man to do? Ah ha! Luckily there is now available a
pair of two inch thick neoprene man/ woman handling gauntlets,
hanging just over there next to the park defibrillator. (Oh god, if I
have to stick the defib pads on her bare chest thats going to look
But back to the manhandling gauntlets. Immediate reassurance.
feelings of tactile pleasure will get through these. Not only are
extremely thick they have some kind of numbing cream inside,
you get in those condoms for people who get overly excited. Plus,
there is also a massive rubber insert cushion to put between my
pelvic region and hers. No chance of arousal with that in there.
Happy days. Well, happy from a legal perspective anyway.
Sold in the same section as this...
[21 Quest, Nov 23 2017]
||I know that, in the UK, the "good samaritan" law applies, which means that you can't be prosecuted for bungled first aid, if you genuinely thought it was needed and you were genuinely trying to do your best. I would imagine that a similar view would be taken of first aid that was/could be misconstrued as gropement.
||Better yet, make it compulsory and overseen by HMRC - that'll get everyone avoiding it.
||// Couldnt the queen of that america country simply issue a decree to make groping legal?//
||What you already knew I was going to say.
||A foreseeable, outraged demand that you check your privilege
with respect to what he already knew you were going to say.
||Wait, I have groping privilege? When did this come about? What is its extent?