Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Arecibo Telescope Message Custard Cream

Emboss a long custard cream with the binary message sent from the Arecibo Telescope in 1974
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2018 is apparently the 110th anniversary of the custard cream biscuit and the 44th anniversary (today as it happens) of the transmission of the Arecibo telescope message. Just in case you don't know what that is, it's a 1679-bit binary signal sent to a star cluster in the constellation of Hercules which included the formulae for amino acids, a diagram of the DNA double helix, the radio dish itself, the planets of the solar system (which included Pluto), a human figure and various other pieces of info.

My proposal is to emboss (or whatever) this message on an unusually long custard cream. It could easily be done, it should be done and it has custard in the title so it must be a good idea. Moreover, being a biscuit it's a total of four halfbaked ideas, because biscuits are twice-baked.

nineteenthly, Nov 16 2018


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       ...should have been sending out a retraction of Pluto being a planet (or not). Fibbing to aliens we've never even met, it's a poor start.
not_morrison_rm, Nov 16 2018
  

       Perhaps they could make the tranformers of street lights emit prime number coded micropulses causing all the light from earth to braodcast a series of primes to any optical observers.
beanangel, Nov 16 2018
  

       //make the tranformers of street lights emit prime number coded micropulses //   

       The problem would be in synchronizing all the lights, all over the world (assuming that the aliens aren't just parked in a lay-by near Stoke).   

       On the other hand, a very slow brightness modulation (say, ±20% over a minute, which people would not notice) could be synchronized worldwide quite easily. It might be detectable, possibly.
MaxwellBuchanan, Nov 16 2018
  

       Incidentally, it is a little-known fact that from 1943 to 1945, a system was in place to send coded messages to Allied prisoners of war (specifically, captured airmen) by modifying the elaborate pattern of embossing on custard cream biscuits included in Red Cross parcels. The scheme was proposed by none other than Geoffrey Pyke, of Pykrete fame.   

       Over 12,000 packets of specially-commissioned biscuits (enough to allow a small repertoire of important messages to be conveyed to prisoners held at some 25-30 camps) were stockpiled by the War Ministry, to be held in storage until the need arose. Unfortunately, the storage room in which they were safeguarded, although kept cool and dry, was also generously ventilated. When the biscuits were checked in 1945 (shortly before the end of the war, when it seemed that they might be needed), all that was found was a huge pile of shredded paper packets and a two-inch layer of mouse shit.
MaxwellBuchanan, Nov 16 2018
  

       I really want that to be true [MB].
nineteenthly, Nov 17 2018
  

       You say that as if it might not be.
MaxwellBuchanan, Nov 17 2018
  

       It's a two-inch layer of mouse shit. But beautifully crafted.
pertinax, Nov 18 2018
  

       "I say, Carruthers, these hundreds and thousands the jolly old RAF have sent us aren't quite up to the usual standard ... more like the ones we used to get from the Tuck Shop at Marlborough..."   

       // assuming that the aliens aren't just parked in a lay-by near Stoke //   

       Don't be daft, you know perfectly well that they much prefer Cherwell Valley services on the M40.
8th of 7, Nov 20 2018
  


 

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