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Strap *this* to the back of your cat.
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You go have a Power Bar for some energy and protein before going to the gym. Suddenly it strikes you that you are eating the lovechild of a newly separated Firestone tire and the scuzzy sawdust underneath your dad's workbench. Oh well, at least it is giving you the energy and protein you need right?
suffer no longer, we here at www.foodthatactuallytastesgood.com bring you the Bovine Supplemented Power Disk. The disk is a high energy combination of oats, sugar, flour, and butter, that has been baked at 375 for about 10 to 12 minutes and it is supplemented by a cold bovine-sourced beverage that is choc full of protein. What better way to start your workout? Although repetitive involuntary gastro spills induced by the nastiness of normal "workout bars" will eventually make you lose weight, it is not the preferred method.
||Oh, that one! It also wraps around irritating sand and dirt and escorts it comfortably ex colon. Apple rules, IMHO.
||Sounds like you want to bake cookies.