Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
h a l f b a k e r y
Why on earth would you want that many gazelles anyway?

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Give someone a hand and a forearm and an upper arm.
  (+3, -1)
(+3, -1)
  [vote for,

“I’m writing to tell you how pleased my boyfriend and I are with our Armbraces. Their realistic size, color, warm-to-the-touch surface and suppleness all make them seem so real. I sleep much better now when away on business trips, with my head on his ’arm’. I love waking up to his biceps hug and exchanging hand squeezes.” – Martha S.

“Your armed-for-comfort product has worked to perfection. When it’s hooked up to my friend, she inputs ‘straight elbow’ plus ‘half-bending/opening fingers’ so I can use the limb as a backscratcher. It reaches sensitive spots I hadn’t dreamed I possessed. The ability to converse and send commands gives your mobile member a leg up on the competition.” – Jack Theo Scratcha

“Being a lady truck driver means I really appreciate the feel of my honey bun’s arm across my shoulders, on long hauls. Each cuddle, or even fingers creeping towards my boob, tells me he’s thinking of me, just then. Am anxiously awaiting development of your advanced line with Naugahair and scent pit to make the illusion complete.” – Mrs. Kisses

FarmerJohn, Jul 24 2003


       Oh yes. +
saker, Jul 24 2003

       I want mine to be remotely controlled by a bionic style armglove (in fact two arm-gloves together) which would send a second signal through my mobile phone, which is picked up by a double armbrace ("The BearHug" I think the catalog calls it..) so that I could call my son up on my mobile, and give him a hug from a distance. :)
goff, Jul 24 2003

       Hmm. We had telemetric (and teledildonic) devices around here at one time. All that is old is new again.
phoenix, Jul 24 2003

       This has some potential very sinister and very explicit uses... two of the main criteria for me giving out pastry.
Jinbish, Jul 24 2003

       Gotta hand it to you.   

       I suppose I could say this is semi-baked, but I’m not going to because the writing is hilarious. - Nice one FJ.
Shz, Jul 28 2003


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