h a l f b a k e r yWhy not imagine it in a way that works?
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I suppose there's an endcap on the right for the Dalai Lama? |
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^ carousel card display: Happy Reincarnation cards plunked between 'It's a Boy/Girl/Other" and "Oops". |
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I think there is something quite good about this idea. I like
it, a lot. |
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I'm thinking about a bun, but there are problematic
situations whereas someone has a baby before they get
married; which comes first? Get Well cards can be placed
randomly? Should funny cards be mixed with Religious cards?
Oh well, anyway, it's a somewhat good idea, so here's a
somewhat croissant. + |
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//Should funny cards be mixed with Religious cards? |
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But, more constructively, top to bottom with humorous at the top and more serious towards the bottom. |
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You could do 'get well soon' cards on a similar system, higher up for cranial maladies, at the bottom for feet related stuff and one 1/3 of the way up in a very narrow niche for gynaecological issues. |
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For the more fashion-oriented, you could do a concertina-style card, which when opened would cascade down to show styles through the ages, on separate sheets. |
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Now I'm picturing a universal origami-style card with a
different message depending on how it's folded. |
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I'm not sure how this idea would work. The numbered birthday cards are fine and could be nicely ordered, but as you can die or get married at any age, each birthday card selection would have to be interspersed with marriage and funeral cards. |
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Perhaps it could be divided by reference to actuarial tables, plotting out the life of the actuarially typical male or female, splitting perhaps in two at the actuarially typical age of divorce, with one route studded with anniversary cards, increasingly pockmarked with Deepest Sympathy, the other line itself fragmenting into further marriages, all lines puttering to a close with a succession of tokenistic get well soon cards. |
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You could have this be the primary delineator for the
X axis of the layout, left to right, then have the Z
axis, up and
down, be categories on the left clearly labeled as
"Humorous" or "Sentimental", categories of
"Grandparent to grandkid", "Friend to friend" etc. |
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So you want a funny birthday card for a 5 year old
nephew?
Look on the left hand side for "Nephew"/"Funny",
then walk right past the birth announcements till you
get to the birthday section, 1, 2, 3, 4... ah, here we
are. Funny birthday cards for 5 year old nephews. |
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There would probably be some blank sections like
the"Funny" and "Funerals" intersection though.
Although not if I were writing greeting cards. |
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//actuarially typical male or female// - yes, basing it around this concept would work. It would be educational too - you'd be able to walk into the shop and see at a glance how far off the actuarial norm you were. I see the cards being displayed in a large grid-like display, with life stages along the x-axis, and the y-axis being used for emotive content, so happy, uplifting, jolly and humourous cards near the top and sombre, commiseratory cards near the bottom. This would allow for humourous funeral cards or sympathetic engagement cards. |
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I think there should also be cards for First Marriage, Second
Marriage, Third Marriage, etc. Sorry you are in the Hospital
on your Birthday. Congrats on Your Divorce. Sorry your Wife
Caught you Cheating on her. Good Luck on your new job,
You're Fired. OK, this is turning into a list...sorry this is
turning into a list. |
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Where to put the homeless greeting cards? |
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Could get kind of complicated I guess. |
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As an alternative, I think single cards that you
customize have been suggested before. |
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Congratulations [ ] Condolences [ ] |
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Graduation [ ] Birthday [ ] Marriage [ ] Divorce [ ]
Alien abduction [ ] (with probing [ ]) Sex change [ ]
(check all that
apply) |
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Ah..punched cards...it has all the options, simply drop it into the restored and modified IBM card-punching machine and it punches out the not appropriate bits. |
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The alternative would be a Rubik's cube card, where by twists it displays all the options one at a time.. |
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Make the entire card section look like rows upon rows of graves. A little tricky with a vertical display, but the effect might be able to pulled off especially if looking from below like a child. Every card whether celebratory apologetic, religious or otherwise has pictures of cemeteries. |
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