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Nothing brings a scanner or copier job to a halt quite like the staple you forgot to remove or didn't catch. If you're lucky, the average sheet feeder will allow you to remove (most of) the tattered remains of the stapled sheet with only a little digging. If you're not so lucky you'll be screwing around
with it for an hour.
Introducing the GROGco Heavy Duty Sheet Feeder. This feeder has a drive mechanism adapted from the front end of a combine, and has an optional diesel motor attachment. It will pull each paper through even if the pages are glued together.
The staple remover's special sensors carefully probe for the slightest disturbance in the force required to pull the paper through. If it detects resistance, it will immediately power up an electromagnet so powerful it would make scientists at CERN's Large Hadron Collider break down and weep like little girls. Any metallic staples or paper clips will be immediately sucked through the paper stack and deposited into the sheet feeder crucible where they are melted down and eventually sold to scrap metal dealers.
If by chance the paper clip or other offending clip is made of plastic, a special rake attachment will pull it aside (or it will be crushed) as each sheet dives headlong into the paper path.
Hehehe; take THAT, you little metallic pain in my ass.
Ah, NOW look what you did...
...The most important data in the whole file was in there! [normzone, Jun 07 2011]
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||//take THAT, you little metallic pain in my ass// [marked-for-tagline]