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Baby Simulator

Having Baby? Don't want to accidentally kill it? Practice on your PC !
  (+5, -2)
(+5, -2)
  [vote for,

Having a Baby? Does Neonatology mean any thing to you? no me neither.

Statistically there is a pretty high chance of it happening, (yes even you). But don't have a clue what to do with it when your wife or partner accidentally spawns one?

How about a game which allows you to simulate a baby like one of those care for a pet virtual dogs etc but more real and less cutesy.

Think of the Sims but with much more vomit, pee and crying. Depnding on the type of food (Breast milk, expressed breast milk, bottled cows milk) it would effect the level of hunger, energetic screaming and kicking, facial and faecial colour changes, vomit and nappy fill frequency.

Perhaps adding on a cash function so that you can invest in cheap nappies which don't hold much and make the baby angry or go all out for the fancy flowery cot with the thick mattress. Exterior temperature changes would make it even more fun to deal with.

Random illnesses and the frightening oportunity for paedicide. (not sure if this word exists but the ancient greeks were clever folks and I am sure they thought about this).

(Neonatology is the study of baby illnesses etc.)

PainOCommonSense, Feb 09 2004

Babyz http://www.babyz.net/
An existing series simulating infants and toddlers. [ironfroggy, Jun 29 2006]


       Would it come with a hardware add-on that sprays a range of bodily fluids out of the PC, because otherwise it just won't have the deterrent effect. (Although even with this hardware, you could still wrap your computer in plastic sheeting.)
kropotkin, Feb 09 2004

       I'm guessing this would have to be a USB plug in connected to milk funnel, fermentation chamber and a variety of ejection tubes just to keep you guessing.
PainOCommonSense, Feb 09 2004

       I have to give this a plus...just for the idea... Never work of course..Virtual babies....will never come close to the real thing... (my virtual pet died after a week....if your virtual baby died, would you really care?)
Dently, Feb 10 2004

       um ok if you think its good...are you haveing a baby painO?
John_R_123, Feb 11 2004

       Maybe I am having a baby what is it to you.   

       No but seriously yes and it certainly explains my blunt and sarcastic moods.
PainOCommonSense, Feb 12 2004

       lol funny. just a thought pain.
John_R_123, Feb 23 2004

       Piano? I see yes har har.
PainOCommonSense, Mar 10 2004

       [PainO] I'm not sure why this got so many fishbones. It s a great idea.   

       Anything that would make adults reflect more on proper parenting (yes, this anno coming from the poster of 'real kids restaurant') is OKEE DOKEY for me.
mahatma, Mar 10 2004

       Might I suggest vhemt.org. Following their philosophy takes care of the whole baby mess.
Basil2, Mar 10 2004

       They have something like this that some schools use although not as advanced as you describe. I heard the director of the new movie Robot Stories on NPR and it has a story about a simulator baby. -Jeff
gbleem, Mar 10 2004

       You're right, [gbleem], there are robot babies. I didn't catch the special, though. You know how I know? _I've experienced it._ I had to take care of one of these things for a weekend about 3 weeks ago!I swear I'm not lying. I can tell you all about it. (Didn't have to breast feed it, though. Thank God.)
spacecadet, Mar 10 2004

       Glad to hear a bit of support, and nice to know that a robotic version has already been halfbaked by some forward thinking antenatal classes.   

       I am thinking more of a computer interface for the ease of use, cheap education for the general public and perhaps a bit of fun (albiet not as much fun as actually making the baby).
PainOCommonSense, Mar 30 2004

       What's wrong with carrying around a sack of flour?   

       Seriously, I don't think that any computer program could come close to the amount of work needed for an actual baby. At most it would prepare you for things that never even occured to you to do.   

       <classically educated pedant>pedantIt's 'infanticide', not 'paedicide'. 'paedo' is Greek (as you say) but 'cide' is Latin (from 'caedo', 'to kill'). Mixing them together is wrong. But you were close.</cep>
dbmag9, Feb 22 2006

       wow! i think that sounds like a great idea! i would definately go for it!
mspivey2, Jun 28 2006

       You could program it to periodically dial your cell phone via skype or the like and start howling.
+mw+, Jun 28 2006

       I'm fishboning this because it is baked. I used to play the game in the days when I was frantically obsessed with all things A-Life.
ironfroggy, Jun 29 2006


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