Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Baby in jail.

Possibly the stupidest idea ever. Please vote against.
  (+6, -15)(+6, -15)
(+6, -15)
  [vote for,

The maximum security wing of a prison. Really bad, hard criminals hate being there. And after spending say, 20 years they are released into society, no better then they were before.

One morning the prisoners of cell block d are surprised to find, in the breakfast area, a small baby. There is also a pack af diapers, asswipes and milk.

No matter how bad these people are, they will take care of this baby.

They are forced to work together. They have to take responsibility. They learn and become better people.

zeno, Aug 10 2008

Lifer. http://www.babble.c...-present-early.aspx
[2 fries shy of a happy meal, Aug 10 2008]


       Um, just think of what baby will learn..
A is for Arms dealer
B is for ...
Ling, Aug 10 2008

       Animals in prisons ?
wjt, Aug 10 2008

       The basic idea here - confront and challenge evil through vulnerability and love, instead of force majeure - sounds familiar. Is this an intentional echo of the gospel (albeit maybe a satirical one)?
pertinax, Aug 10 2008

       This is already kind of baked by "Cell Dogs".
MisterQED, Aug 10 2008

       OK [zeno], but only 'cause you asked. (-)   

       Your faith in humanity is astounding.
methinksnot, Aug 10 2008

       ... and misplaced.   

       "Coniunx est mihi, sunt nati: dedimus tot pignora fatis....."   

       This is not just giving a hostage to fortune; it is giving a hostage to a group of rather nasty individuals who will not hesitate to use threats of violence or actual violence against the "hostage" as leverage. [+]
8th of 7, Aug 10 2008

       If every prisoner in jail was given one random baby from the general population, without relaxing any prosecution standards... it would probably take awhile, but I think soon you would see less crime on the streets. Either that or vigilante violence would tear the nation apart.
mylodon, Aug 10 2008

       Maybe you could start out with a doll, and see how long it keeps its head.
ldischler, Aug 10 2008

       Give them [zeno], his head is obviously already loose ....
8th of 7, Aug 10 2008

       Change it to a robotic baby full of monitoring equipment and make it a Fox reality show, otherwise (-)
GutPunchLullabies, Aug 10 2008

       Make it a high large high explosive device, with a countdown timer and sensors that accept rubbing, cuddling, burping, etc to keep the countdown at bay. Extra love and the timer increases.   

       If they don't all care for it properly and take turns, they will all explode, also a plus.   

       Just make it look like baby for fun.   

Giblet, Aug 10 2008

       "Do not pass Go, you need a baby get out of jail card"
skinflaps, Aug 10 2008

       Many people are in jail because they disrespected an officer and/or were caught with a joint. Many are there because they were too poor to afford a proper lawyer. Most have families, and many have children. I predict the most protected baby in the world. But you have to include a few books on child rearing.
Voice, Aug 11 2008

       You forgot that everyone in jail is innocent.
mylodon, Aug 11 2008

       //You forgot that everyone in jail is innocent.//   

       In Texas this is true.
ldischler, Aug 11 2008

       Open the gates or the baby gets it...
4whom, Aug 11 2008

       If it's true that American prisoners are numbered at around 7.2 million (roughly the population of Switzerland, or Israel) you're going to need a whole bunch of babies.   

       Also, who's babies are we going to use?   

       I think it might be safer to adopt the use of cute bunnies and fluffy kittens.
zen_tom, Aug 11 2008

       //If it's true that American prisoners are numbered at around 7.2 million//   

       I think that's the number for those incarcerated and those on parole. But if you threw in those convicted of felonies, you'd have closer to 40 million. So many black men are incarcerated (7% at any one time) that I imagine inner city high schools are stocking prison brochures, hanging them right next to the army recruitment posters. "Skip the crime, do good time. Check yourself into our medium security facility and enjoy our swimming pool, our flat-screen TVs, and a brand new baby for every customer!"
ldischler, Aug 11 2008

       Oh, a karmagotchi with electroporation talcum, for the distribution of happylong.
4whom, Aug 11 2008

       That would be just as sensible...
lostdog, Aug 11 2008

       We are mentally serving time in a bakery.   

Giblet, Aug 11 2008

       Some of us were forced, against our will, and/or good sense! (This *is* a bad idea. Very bad.)
blissmiss, Aug 11 2008

       You obviously don't know any really bad people.
nomocrow, Aug 11 2008

       must be a really bad baby. [+]
jaksplat, Aug 11 2008

       Why not combine this idea with the baby crying on the plane thread. If a kid cries for more than 2 hours on a flight he goes to the joint, thus eliminating solving both problems.
theGem, Oct 18 2008

       Maybe the opposite of this idea would be better. A group of violent criminals whose food, water and cell temperature is controlled by a baby.   

       Tell me, [voice], would you allow your child to be used? Maybe you should try jail out before making such a statement.
MikeD, Oct 18 2008


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