Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Bachelor's Launderette

A complete clothing management solution for those on the go.
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Those who have gone away to school or have lived an otherwise unhygienic life know the problem. Deferred trips to the laundry result in a pile of dirty clothes that grows until you run out of fresh garments. You are then forced to root through the pile to select an acceptable ensemble. At the end of the day, those clothes are placed on the top of the pile thus perpetuating a kind of composting cycle. The downside of this otherwise efficient strategy is that it attracts vermin, produces stench and imposes a cluttered look on your digs.

Behold the Bachelor's Launderette - a sleek, floor - standing cylinder tucked discreetly into a corner. It retains the same familiar heap style organization while eliminating its disadvantages. At the end of the day, just lift the hermetically sealing lid and drop your soiled clothes into the cleaning drum. When the lid is closed, it latches and ultraviolet sterilizer lamps switch on. A high capacity blower directs heated air into the internal stationary drum via tangential holes with a velocity sufficient to entrain the garments in a cyclonic vortex. Thoroughly wet clothes will require a drying pre – cycle before they can be entrained in the vortex and cleaned.

When a sensor determines that the load is thoroughly dry, specially engineered cleaning balls are introduced to the spinning clothes, dislodging soil via myriad impacts. Being of lower density than the clothes, the balls migrate to the center of the vortex and are removed along with dirt and air via an axially mounted vortex finder tube. The balls are separated from the exhaust by a screen and continually re – injected into the vortex. The remaining dirty air is passed through a re – usable filter and discharged. When a particulate sensor detects a suitably clean condition, the balls are captured and stored in a recycle loop for re - use.

At the end of the cycle, a delicately scented mist is introduced and the air shuts off. A door on the bottom of the drum then opens and deposits the load in a generously sized lower chamber. After the door closes, the cleaning drum is driven downward by side – mounted motorized linear screw actuators and compresses the load thus maximizing available storage space.

Articles of clothing are removed as needed from an access door located at the bottom of the unit and selected as required. Unneeded items are re-introduced into the top of the unit, eventually being added to the top of the storage inventory.

Of course clothes don’t last forever, so a user activated incinerate function is included. Ashes are captured via the air filter described above.

The system does not use solvents or detergents and is therefore environmentally friendly. Soil and ashes may be employed in the garden as a fertilizer / amendment. Clothes are efficiently stored and are guaranteed to obtain a casually stylish crumpled look. The problems of stench and unwelcome vermin are eliminated. Your friends, if you have any, will be impressed.

Whistlebritches, Dec 22 2011

Almost Like... Combination_20Washi...20and_20Incinerator
...but not quite. [Grogster, Dec 22 2011]

Almost waterless clothes washing machine http://en.wikipedia...ros_Washing_Machine
Uses small nylon beads and a bit of water. [AusCan531, Dec 23 2011]

[link]






       Will never work. Who's going to be arsed to lift the lid?
pocmloc, Dec 22 2011
  

       It will need to be soundproof- otherwise, the whimpering of socks trappped in the machine will be very distracting.
8th of 7, Dec 22 2011
  

       Welcome to the world of halfbaked ideas.
xenzag, Dec 22 2011
  

       I think they call it the Diaper Genie.   

       Ooh, there's your trademark name, 'Bachelor Genie.'   

       I wonder if it would integrate itself into the sock teleportation network...   

       Not a bad first post.
RayfordSteele, Dec 22 2011
  

       Bun for severe overcomplication. A washer/dryer combo would fit in a dorm room (dunno where you'd plug it in), but those don't incorporate CERN-grade molecular-density sensors, radiation shielding, and delicately-scented mist. A true Halfbake. All that time spent quietly observing us has obviously paid off, [WB].   

       // specially engineered cleaning balls are introduced to the spinning clothes, dislodging soil via myriad impacts //   

       This part is already baked, but not very well.
Alterother, Dec 22 2011
  

       You should email this idea to Dyson...
just sayin
  

       "//user activated incinerate function// may produce unwanted and/or unexpected results when used with certain synthetic fabrics, some kinds of stains, or objects not intended to be placed in the washing system"
lurch, Dec 22 2011
  

       Not a problem with the thermonuclear model.
mouseposture, Dec 22 2011
  

       If only it were possible to add a water-and-soap pre- treatment.
Voice, Dec 23 2011
  

       You can; its a consumable jacket that goes over the atomic pile.
Alterother, Dec 23 2011
  

       // specially engineered cleaning balls are introduced to the spinning clothes, dislodging soil via myriad impacts //   

       I worried that this was already baked, but research only turned up industrial ball mills, not quite the same. Hmm... adding a pulverize cycle using ball bearings in lieu of incineration might work, just a little louder.
Whistlebritches, Dec 23 2011
  

       The ones I meant are just these tennis ball-sized hard plastic things covered in little nubbins. They go in the washer to 'aid agitation', and you're also supposed to put them in the dryer, though I'm not sure what purpose they serve there. Some of them are built to dispense detergent/fabric softener. I think they're just a needless gimmick invented to grab more of our money, but T.G.F.J. swears by them, so into the wash they go.
Alterother, Dec 23 2011
  

       //Welcome to the world of halfbaked ideas// Damn, where are my manners? Thanks! From my first visit, the Halfbakery became THE one stop site for all my half baking needs.
Whistlebritches, Jan 01 2012
  
      
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