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Clone that Sock

Match that stray sock.
  (+10, -2)(+10, -2)
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I was browsing this site and I ran across, as someone called it, the “Sock Thread”. This intrigued me. It dates back to 2000. The basic problem trying to be solved here is preventing single socks from disappearing during laundering.

I wondered why the pessimistic view that a sock was missing dominated over the optimistic view that one was gained. Be that as it may the gist of the problem is that we wear socks in pairs and we have a single unmatched lost sole.

The solution “Clone that Sock.” The process is complex but can easily be done using common things we find around the house.

First thing we need are sock stem cells. These are found in the lint that is produced in the clothes dryer. Run a load of socks through the wash. Be sure to clean the lint filter prior to drying or you could wind up with a mutated garment that could destroy the world (see The Fly, Vincent Price version not the Jeff Goldblum remake.)

Next carefully remove a strand of DNA from your stray sock. The double helix DNA is found in the threads that hang out from the elastic portion of the sock. The DNA strand starts with the first color change after black and runs 6.35mm (1/4 inch). Clip off several DNA strands. (If you’re trying a clone a black sock, you are too boring a person to deal with, go buy another pair)

Place the DNA strands and a thimbleful of the stem cells in a Petri dish and pour in 2 tbsp of Tide Laundry Detergent, 1 tsp of Downy Fabric Softener and a pinch of Boraxo Hand soap. Gently stir mixture with a girdle stay and pour into the washing machine.

The cloning process can take anywhere from 2 to 3 weeks to grow a full size sock, depending on how many loads of wash you do. Sometime in the near future you will find an odd sock in you washer or your dryer.

Disclaimer: The new sock that is produced may not exactly match the sock cloned if your measurement are slightly off.

theGem, Oct 17 2008

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       [+] but you want a reverse clone, so it has to be put through a malfunctioning Star Trek transporter.
FlyingToaster, Oct 17 2008
  

       Wow! It does work! Tried it on a bath towel, but got a terry cloth T-Shirt. Must have gotten the wrong stem cells. Fortunately the world was not destroyed (I don't think). So what. The T-Shirt is nice for the beach. Have a pair of Armani trousers in the works. Wish me luck. To think I was tossing out all those fuzzy stem cells.
MauiChuck, Oct 18 2008
  

       Just trade it on the sock market.
Spacecoyote, Oct 18 2008
  

       /but you want a reverse clone, so it has to be put through a malfunctioning Star Trek transporter/   

       Will the reverse clone give me a left sock for a right sock.
theGem, Oct 18 2008
  

       Hmmm. Good point, Gem. Mirror image. That could get awkward. Imagine a whole drawer of left socks. But worse, Toaster, the duality is not only limted to left/right, but up/down also. Think of the sock coming out upside down. How could you put it on?Chilling.
MauiChuck, Oct 18 2008
  

       // a malfunctioning Star Trek transporter //   

       Specifically, a malfunctioning FEDERATION trasnporter - ours are much more reliable.   

       We presume you're referring to the episode "Mirror, mirror" (second season, episode 33).   

       The risk you run is that if you put the sock through the transporter pattern buffer as you suggest, you don't get an orthogonal rotation; you get an Evil Twin .....
8th of 7, Oct 18 2008
  

       I suppose the ultimate personal validation for the worthiness of this idea resides in the perception of whether you are a sock drawer half-full or sock drawer half-empty sort of person.
jurist, Oct 19 2008
  

       [8th] So my burgundy plaid turns into a red argyle. Kinky.   

       [jurist] Sock-it-to-me!
theGem, Oct 19 2008
  

       [8th] If you wear burgundy plaid socks, red argyle shouldn't be a problem. Your fashion sense is totally unredemable. I suppose you wear a twead jacket with leather elbow patches to formal affairs.
MauiChuck, Oct 19 2008
  

       What the hell do people that live in Maui know about socks? Or do you wear argyles with your flip-flops? Now that's really kinky!
theGem, Oct 19 2008
  

       Hi.
I lost a sock last week at the laundry-mat, then went back to the washer that I used and viola- there it was! (I buy almost all black socks, so they are interchangable.)
xandram, Oct 19 2008
  

       I did that a couple weeks ago; funny, it was hiding in somebody else's pile of laundry.
FlyingToaster, Oct 19 2008
  

       Gem. I didn't always live on Maui. I was once civilized. And we wear golf socks when appropropriate, like on the golf course or to formal gatherings. Seesh. You are obviliously fashion-challenged.
MauiChuck, Oct 24 2008
  
      
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