h a l f b a k e r y
On the one hand, true. On the other hand, bollocks.
add, search, annotate, link, view, overview, recent, by name, random
news, help, about, links, report a problem
or get an account
I was browsing this site and I ran across, as someone called it,
Thread. This intrigued me. It dates back to 2000. The basic
trying to be solved here is preventing single socks from
I wondered why the pessimistic view that a sock was
over the optimistic view that one was gained. Be that as it
may the gist
the problem is that we wear socks in pairs and we have a
unmatched lost sole.
The solution Clone that Sock. The process is complex but
can easily be
done using common things we find around the house.
First thing we need are sock stem cells. These are found in
the lint that
produced in the clothes dryer. Run a load of socks through
the wash. Be
sure to clean the lint filter prior to drying or you could wind
up with a
mutated garment that could destroy the world (see The Fly,
version not the Jeff Goldblum remake.)
Next carefully remove a strand of DNA from your stray sock.
helix DNA is found in the threads that hang out from the
the sock. The DNA strand starts with the first color change
runs 6.35mm (1/4 inch). Clip off several DNA strands. (If
youre trying a
clone a black sock, you are too boring a person to deal with,
Place the DNA strands and a thimbleful of the stem cells in a
pour in 2 tbsp of Tide Laundry Detergent, 1 tsp of Downy
and a pinch of Boraxo Hand soap. Gently stir mixture with a
pour into the washing machine.
The cloning process can take anywhere from 2 to 3 weeks to
grow a full
size sock, depending on how many loads of wash you do.
near future you will find an odd sock in you washer or your
Disclaimer: The new sock that is produced may not exactly
cloned if your measurement are slightly off.
||[+] but you want a reverse clone, so it has to be put through a malfunctioning Star Trek transporter.
It does work!
Tried it on a bath towel, but got a terry cloth T-Shirt. Must have gotten the wrong stem cells. Fortunately the world was not destroyed (I don't think).
So what. The T-Shirt is nice for the beach.
Have a pair of Armani trousers in the works. Wish me luck.
To think I was tossing out all those fuzzy stem cells.
||Just trade it on the sock market.
||/but you want a reverse clone, so it has to be put through a malfunctioning Star Trek transporter/
||Will the reverse clone give me a left sock for a right sock.
||Hmmm. Good point, Gem. Mirror image. That could get awkward. Imagine a whole drawer of left socks. But worse, Toaster, the duality is not only limted to left/right, but up/down also. Think of the sock coming out upside down. How could you put it on?Chilling.
||// a malfunctioning Star Trek transporter //
||Specifically, a malfunctioning FEDERATION trasnporter - ours are much more reliable.
||We presume you're referring to the episode "Mirror, mirror" (second season, episode 33).
||The risk you run is that if you put the sock through the transporter pattern buffer as you suggest, you don't get an orthogonal rotation; you get an Evil Twin .....
||I suppose the ultimate personal validation for the worthiness of this idea resides in the perception of whether you are a sock drawer half-full or sock drawer half-empty sort of person.
||[8th] So my burgundy plaid turns into a red argyle. Kinky.
||[8th] If you wear burgundy plaid socks, red argyle shouldn't be a problem. Your fashion sense is totally unredemable. I suppose you wear a twead jacket with leather elbow patches to formal affairs.
||What the hell do people that live in Maui know about socks?
Or do you wear argyles with your flip-flops? Now that's really
I lost a sock last week at the laundry-mat, then went back to the washer that I used and viola- there it was! (I buy almost all black socks, so they are interchangable.)
||I did that a couple weeks ago; funny, it was hiding in somebody else's pile of laundry.
||Gem. I didn't always live on Maui. I was once civilized. And we wear golf socks when appropropriate, like on the golf course or to formal gatherings. Seesh. You are obviliously fashion-challenged.