Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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The interactive guide for halfbakers in-training
  [vote for,

I am, as some might have noticed, a recent member of the fellowship of the croissant. I am sure that at least 7 out of 10 people who will read this idea are aveteran halfbakers, familiar with the terms and slang that are commonly used in the bakery, and know a lot about your kind: the experienced bakers. You all know what a fishbone is, you all know about traditions like Sortaclaus, and I am sure that most of you also know who Bliss is, apart from being familiar with the halfbakery etiquette. Well, it is quite different for beginners like me and if you check my profile you’ll see why it’s taking me so long to make my point clear.

Anyways, to the point. Even though things become more clear to me as I read other people’s ideas and annotations, I wished it had been easier to become part of the bakery without going through so much trouble and disappointments. I thought the only way to help new halfbakers enjoy the experience as much as the experienced ones would be by making a Baketionary.

The way this tool will work consists on 3 simple steps: Step 1) The new halfbaker creates an account. Let’s say, Pericles. In order to access the Baketionary, Pericles is required to fill out a questionnaire to create her profile. Besides the section where she writes freely about what/who she is, etc, the questionnaire will ask the aspiring halfbaker to answer questions so precise that will let the system know virtually everything it needs to know to determine what kind of individual just opened an account: background, interests, phobias, obsessions, past experiences, name of pets, mean of transportation, favorite meals, allergies, and so on.

Step 2) Pericles will have access to the Baketionary: a basic guide containing every piece of lingo she needs to know. From the basics (like the definition of a croissant and fishbone, or the list of the already baked ideas) to the top 10 categories she should stay away from in order to have an enjoyable experience, according to the information the new user entered about him/herself.

The cool part is that two Baketionaries can’t be exactly the same. Besides the basic definitions and descriptions included on everyone, each one is personalized, giving extra definitions, descriptions and warnings the new baker needs to know in order to have a more pleasant (or less humiliating) halfbaking experience. For instance, when clicking to find out more about the person behind a nickname, the profile won’t just read the information entered by the user. It will also read things and local jokes that the database has learned about the user and that (according to Pericles’ profile for instance) she might need to know, such as: waugsqueke: will boycott all your ideas. Stay away from him. DrCurry: according to some users, the user cares about handbags. 8th out of 7: Has dangerous hobbies. Sambwiches: The user thinks the best way to show commitment in a relationship is “constant blow jobs”. Funny guy. Jutta: Respected throughout the whole place. Don’t mess with her.

This is also useful for experienced halfbakers since it gives extra information about new users that might be useful. The Baketionary will also work like the assistant on word processors. An animated croissant will pop up every time it thinks you need the definition of something, ad it keeps track of stuff you already know, warning you about any possible mistakes you can be making on halfbakery etiquette while typing a new idea and before you post it. For example: “Pericles, keep to yourself any attempt to invent new medicines and/or vaccines. It won’t work” or “The Baketionary is already Baked”. You can deactivate it when it gets on your nerves.

Pericles, Feb 11 2003

Krelnik's newbie guide http://krelnik.home...g.com/half_faq.html
You might give this a look as well. [krelnik, Oct 05 2004, last modified Oct 21 2004]


       I really like your profile. [Jutta] is a she. There is no magic pill or 'tionary or questionnaire or royal path to posting ideas that other people like. Just be creative, original and, above all, inventive. Keep trying.   

       You write well and that's a beautiful start.   

       Oh, one other thing: the newbie guide idea has been done to death here. I don't know if another is needed.
bristolz, Feb 11 2003

       Congratulations, Pericles, you've survived stage 1 (as you've described) and are now into stage 2 (Halfbakery Customisation). When you've found that this rarely works either, you can go one of two ways. Either annotate a lot and post an idea every now and then (bows) or post lots of ideas and annotate sometimes (like, say, FarmerJohn).   

       There is a third way, of course, and that is to give up in disgust, but if you've got this far then lo siento, you're hooked!
egbert, Feb 11 2003

       Hey, I vote a lot too!
FarmerJohn, Feb 11 2003

       All very well, but don't forget that Waugsqueke needs to chew on a fresh Newbie regularly, otherwise we have to keep filing his incisor teeth down - and that's a job no-one wants.
8th of 7, Feb 11 2003

       I always have to laugh when Waugsqueke gets painted as the junkyard dog. Heck, he's the most angelic mutt in the pound, just misunderstood.
jurist, Feb 11 2003

       Waugsqueke's a big softy, look at those eyes, he wouldn't hurt a fly, would you Waugsy? <ruffles waugs' ears>.   

       I wouldn't dare talk to UB like that!
egbert, Feb 11 2003

       // waugsqueke: will boycott all your ideas. Stay away from him. //   

       Now where does that come from? I believe this annotation now makes 100% of your ideas, Pericles, that I've commented on to date. Hardly a boycott.
waugsqueke, Feb 11 2003

       Wthout a hilt.
FarmerJohn, Feb 11 2003

       Where does all of this performance anxiety come from? [Pericles], just hang out, have fun and don't take this stuff too seriously. It's just cerebral entertainment.   

       //things become more clear to me as I read other people’s ideas and annotations// That, in my opinion, is the only guide that you need.
half, Feb 11 2003

       // Where does all of this performance anxiety come from ? //   

       The voices in our heads .....
8th of 7, Feb 11 2003

       Pericles, its not quite what you describe, but a new poster guide does exist. See link. I think you ran afoul of "Rule 4" in that guide in both of your fishboned ideas, but there are many other tips in there. Let me know if it is helpful.
krelnik, Feb 11 2003

       Thanks to everyone for their encouragement. I may admit that it's harder for me since english is not my first language, so probably this idea should be focused to the not native english speakers. (am I alone here??)   

       bristolz: see? If there had been a baketionary, I could have known Jutta is a "she". So the idea is not so baked.   

       waugsqueke: as you said, don't take this too seriously. Plus, look at the the bright side: my comment seems to have let others say what they think of you and since, as I said, I learn from other people's annotations, I now know that you're not as "mean" as your comments read. ;)
Pericles, Feb 11 2003

       The halfbakery itself is the baketionary.
bristolz, Feb 11 2003

       // my comment seems to have let others say what they think of you //   

       Yes, thanks for that. No one ever tells me what they think of me.
waugsqueke, Feb 11 2003

       //No one ever tells me what they think of me.//   

       Among other things, I think you're forgetful.
beauxeault, Feb 11 2003

       (Yes, I know it was intended as sarcasm.)
beauxeault, Feb 11 2003

       (indeed. I have my own fan club y'know?) (actually it's more of a trauma support group.)
waugsqueke, Feb 11 2003

       A brief perusal of a few ideas in the Halfbakery: Culture and Halfbakery: Song subcategories should give anyone a better idea of what this site is about. Of course, and somewhat ironically, that category is blocked so it doesn't show up for new users.   

       And shouldn't this idea be in another category than Halfbakery:idea - perhaps "culture" or "users" - if it's going to stay around?
pottedstu, Feb 11 2003

       //The halfbakery itself is the baketionary//
I agree, [bris], but it is also a book that is 10,000 pages long, and the useful bits (vis-a-vis this idea) are randomly distributed across all 10,000 pages.
krelnik, Feb 11 2003

       I'm certainly no genius and lurking about the site for a while allowed me to figure it out well enough. This is overkill, which I guess puts it on par with other ideas around here. Fishbone anyway, just because I think [Pericles] is one newbie that will do just fine without any coddling.
half, Feb 11 2003

       A "brief perusal"? Isn't that a bit like jumbo shrimp? ;-)   

       [krelnik], it may be a 10,000 page book but it comes equipped with a rather comprehensive search facility. As to the size of the halfbakery being "unfortunate," I guess you and I just disagree. I rather like it this size.
bristolz, Feb 11 2003

       [krel] has never quite got the hang of taking pleasure in the place just for the hell of it - much too serious (I bet he has very small and precise handwriting). one can have fun here when there is no-one else around or just one or two people following each other about (as bris and I have done a couple of times) or when the place is full and fairly rocking. welcome to you Pericles, just enjoy yourself, I feel you fit in very well indeed.
po, Feb 11 2003

       no, graphology is my *bag*
po, Feb 11 2003

       [bris] I said "vis-a-vis this idea", not in general---i.e. it is unfortunately large when used as a "Baketionary". As a /website/time waster/hobby/custard factory/etc/ its size is quite nice.   

       How is one supposed to use the search facility to answer the sort of behavioral questions that Pericles is after here? Most of the best ideas/annotations I've encountered that relate to what she is after, I've found quite by accident, usually by clicking [random].   

       [po] I'd appreciate it very much if you would stop second guessing my attitudes and motives and so on. For the record, you're completely wrong about me.
krelnik, Feb 11 2003

       [krelnik] drop me a line, I want to see your handwriting.   

       I just said you were serious and that is how you appear to me.   

       //Well from the fact that you never miss an opportunity to repeat this same tired tidbit about "seriousness", it appears to me that you are deliberately trolling in my direction. Incorrect? Hmmm, I guess maybe ASCII text isn't a good way to judge a person. Perhaps there's a lesson to be learned there.//   

       funny I don't ever remember commenting on this subject before. but you may remind me if you wish.
po, Feb 11 2003

       Sorry about that [po], upon searching I appear to have mixed your annos up with those of another female baker who has needlessly repeated that about me more than once. Apologies to you.   

       Anyway, the point about not judging someone by their ASCII output is still valid.
krelnik, Feb 11 2003

       How does the dog fit into all of this?
skinflaps, Feb 11 2003

       [Dimandja] Maybe ideas this long should have abstracts. Maybe whoever posts the first anno would be kind enough to do it, as waugsqueke did on Pericles' Malignum idea.
pluterday, Feb 11 2003

       Pluterday and Dimandja: I can't shorten my ideas. I could, in spanish, but english seems to me like such a compact language that some words are not enough to explain some things. You probably should propose an "Idea compactor for foreing halfbakers". It might get more croissants than the baketionary.
Pericles, Feb 11 2003

       Pericles, don't sweat the length. They don't like 'em long, they don't have to read 'em. Heck, another baker here, Vernon, has made a career out of long ideas.   

       pluter, that wasn't an abstract, that was my list of reasons I voted against it.
waugsqueke, Feb 11 2003

       [Pericles] I am suspicious that your misspellings are intentional, as they come and go. Ah - and there they just went!

[waugsqueke] Yeah, I know. I was just kidding.
pluterday, Feb 11 2003

       Time to get the HB world clock out,this is getting confusing.
skinflaps, Feb 11 2003

       PLuter, you could use the baketionary to find out WHEN people are being sarcastig and WHEN you should take things seriously.   

       Waugsy: you're right. They don't have to read long ones if they don't want to. I might try typing the text in spanish first (nice and compact) and then translate it onto english... or use Dimandja's idea compactor for foreign and newbie halfbakers (my apologies Pluter, the credit is all Dimandja's)
Pericles, Feb 11 2003

       [krel] who was the *other* female baker? I think your *seriousness* is a pretty common opinion around here but I could be wrong, no offence intended though.
po, Feb 12 2003

       Hey, how did I ever miss this idea? I got an honourable mention. Belated croissant for the encomium. +
sambwiches, Mar 16 2003

       [+] missed this, as I wasn't here yet!!
xandram, May 17 2013

       Me too, also, as well (what xandram said) [+]
Sgt Teacup, May 17 2013


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