Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Barbie's Cousin Carolyn

Finally! A doll with a realistic female figure
  (+9, -8)
(+9, -8)
  [vote for,

Why NOT have a barbie-type doll with a more realistic womanly figure instead of the fantasy measurements of Barbie? Carolyn will have a slightly thicker waist, flatter feet (so shoes will stay on) and a warm, friendly open (teeth showing) smile. Instead of a fancy just-stepped-out-of-a-styling-parlor coiffure, she will sport a cute French braid, and come with several of her own outfits, and there will be Carolyn outfits sold separately to choose from. Carolyn will also have a boyfriend, Gordon, slimmer and more slight of build than Ken, with slicked-back dark hair and glasses, a-la Clark Kent
Sparki, Aug 11 2001

'Fraid the Beetle has already been bagsied by Barbie & Ken http://www.amazon.c...104-3527391-7947166
Not in green though... [-alx, Aug 11 2001, last modified Oct 17 2004]

Lisa Lionheart http://www.snpp.com/episodes/1F12.html
This was a Simpsons episode. [EvoketheTiger, Aug 11 2001, last modified Oct 17 2004]

Feral Cheryl http://www.feralcheryl.com.au/
No ponytail bands in sight. [pottedstu, Aug 11 2001, last modified Oct 17 2004]


       ....and proportionally smaller boobs, and shorter in height, and freckles, a couple of age wrinkles, and some gray hairs thrown in to show that her life hasn't all been a Barbie dream world.......   

       Just for the record, when I was a pre-teen, my Brenda Breyer (yes, a real doll to go with Breyer horse models) kicked the crap out of my friend's Barbie, stole her Corvette to haul her horse trailer and stole Ken to accompany her to shows and roll leg wraps for her. I was never invited back to that *friend's* house.
Susen, Aug 11 2001

       And not totally symmetrical? And ance? Croissant.
protean, Aug 11 2001

       Shops at K-Mart and eats at McDonalds (and the HB, of course).
phoenix, Aug 11 2001

       I'm surprised no one remarked about Carolyn's boyfriend Gordon. The Gordon doll will be Ken's cousin, and, like I said, will have a slimmer build than Ken, a scholarly-handsome face, (as opposed to glamorously handsome like Ken) and removable glasses. He will have rooted hair, slicked back and parted, like I said, in a Clark Kent style. His accessories will be a laptop computer and a briefcase, for starts. Any suggestions for additional accessories, his attire, and accessories for Carolyn?
Sparki, Aug 11 2001

       Gordon drives a Volkswagen and listens to Travis.
-alx, Aug 11 2001

       GREAT! A bright green Beetle for Carolyn and Gordon! The Carolyn DreamBug!
Sparki, Aug 11 2001

       I was thinking of a more sensible, practical car than the Beetle for Gordon. Besides, Barbie and Ken have already got their sticky mitts on one - see link.
-alx, Aug 11 2001

       I've got it! Carolyn and Gordon's Dream Hyundai in Bright Green! Now, what are some ATTIRE SUGGESTIONS for this charming couple?
Sparki, Aug 11 2001

       Because average looking women w/ bookworm type boyfriends should ONLY get to drive cheap, crappy Hyundais? Get real. How about giving this power couple a Lincoln Town Car or Mercedes b/c Carolyn has a good career as a research biologist, invested her money wisely, and doesn't waste money friviously on the latest designer fads and beauty parlours. Besides, as a college professor with tenure, Gordon makes a more than decent living and his most recent book is doing well too.
Susen, Aug 12 2001

       A Volvo is both practical and boring.
phoenix, Aug 12 2001

       since when is short ugly!?!?
futurebird, Aug 12 2001

       Great idea! The bright green CAROLYN DREAM TOWN CAR, complete with Carolyn and Gordon dolls in sophisticated city attire and a Night on the Town play set featuring a light-up city scene
Sparki, Aug 12 2001

       I was thinking June and Ward Cleaver (Leave it to Beaver).
phoenix, Aug 12 2001

       Rods, kind of like that. I see the Carolyn doll as a slightly prettier version of VELMA, while the Gordon doll would look kind of like a cleaned-up version of Shaggy or a young Clark Kent (think SUPERBOY, rather than SUPERMAN) Shaggy's hair was not slicked back or parted, and he did not wear specs
Sparki, Aug 12 2001

       Phoenix, yeah, something like that. Carolyn will have more pizazz and spark to her looks than June, but I can see Gordon as a younger Ward
Sparki, Aug 12 2001

       the Carolyn thing is baked i b'lieve--i seem to recall reading in a magazine of my mom's about a small company (a couple sisters or something) who are making barbie-esque dolls who are realistically proportioned and are businesswomen, teachers, firefighters, et al, instead of supermodels, brides, or actresses. a good idea say i. i was always frustrated that they couldn't stand up on their own (symbolic, no?).
Urania, Aug 12 2001

       but do these "Carolyns" have their own "Gordons"?
Sparki, Aug 13 2001

       Carolyn proposes an attractive (but, they later find, flawed) research project to a local highly-rated university. Gordon agrees to support her three years of study - she resigns her job and only then do they realise that the cost of a PhD (including earnings forgone) is UK£100,000. :::sigh:::
lewisgirl, Aug 13 2001

       They turn to Lenny the Loan Shark® (now available with a range of accessories...) [Good luck with your PhD lewisgirl. The second year is the worst, except for writing-up]
hippo, Aug 13 2001

       Hey, what the hell happened to Cindy?
Little_Crow, Aug 13 2001

       Hippo: To interact with Lenny, Carolyn would have to have detachable kneecaps...   

       Susen: The reason they wouldn't drive town cars is that only cops and people a million years old own them...
StarChaser, Aug 13 2001

       Not to undo the brilliant string, but, baked, by Lisa Simpson, a while ago
Simonpf, Aug 14 2001

       Not trying to be rude here but a more (sexually) realistic doll can add to education for children: Menstruating Carolyn, with an abortion kit and a miscarriage. Carolyn's breast grow when suction is applied (Gordon loves this). Gordon occasionally has morning wood or a wet dream. Gordon's hair starts falling out soon after marriage. etc...
thinck, Aug 14 2001

       How about CAROLYN'S VEGAS FANTASY WEDDING GIFT SET Carolyn's not the type to want a big fussy wedding! SET CONSISTS OF: Gaudily decorated wedding chapel playscene. Gordon doll in jeans and a T-shirt made to look like a tux Carolyn doll in a silver mini (no white lace for our gal!). Officiant doll gotten up like Elvis ( he sings Elvis songs when you pull a cord in his back!). honeymoon suite playscene with heart shaped jacuzzi.
Sparki, Aug 14 2001

       Midlife crisis Gordon; balding, beer belly, comes with electric guitar and red convertible and Barbie-like Bimbo doll. (Bimbo doll must be returned to manufacturer after a couple of weeks...)   

       Single mom Carolyn; pregnant, gaining weight, after leaving midlife crisis Gordon over the Bimbo incident. Comes with mini van and studio apartment.   


       God, life sucks.
globaltourniquet, Aug 14 2001

       Retirement Carolyn and Stroppy Old Gordon dolls; accesories are a nice suburban cottage with a well-tended garden and dusty old attic, a rocking chair, a pipe for Gordon, bridge partner dolls, and the ungrateful son doll who eventually sends them to Carolyn & Gordon's Sunshine Retirement Home.
-alx, Aug 14 2001

       Carolyn's little sister Gothic Teen Katrina, with black hair sporting silver sparkles, lots of eyeliner, blood red lipstick, and a black minidress with knee-length black boots, ready for the clubs.   

       And Gordon's kid bro Net Surfin' Martin, a younger version of good ol' Gordo, dressed in jeans, sneakers, a polo, and specs. Comes with a computer with a mouse that really clicks, a desk, and a cola can
Sparki, Aug 14 2001

       Not a cola can....a "Mountain Dew" can. BTW, I'm thinking that Carolyn is a little bit too much of a JAP for the Vegas wedding. After all, her Dr. Daddy will be footing the bill for the whole fairy tale shebang.
Susen, Aug 14 2001

       I thought she was a rags-to-riches success story...
-alx, Aug 14 2001

       ...so the new Caroline is older, a bit slimmer, hip and epicurean, using her maiden name herself (also respelling her given name...), going out with artists and media moguls, her sunglass-wearing toddler Crystal Eden close by her side learning every cosmopolitan move from her swinging mommy (including the details of the secret trust fund: "whatever you do, don't tell your father, or any other man you meet for that matter, sweetie"), and poor fat beer-guzzling Gordon is long forgotten, sold VERY separately with an old TV showing pirated cable, along with a miniature stack of porn magazines.
globaltourniquet, Aug 15 2001

       Carolyn would come with the accessory vial full of herpes, to be applied optionally.
gorn_the_great, Aug 15 2001

       You guys have thought about this *waaay* too much.
angel, Aug 15 2001

       Mephista: Cabbage Patch Thirtysomethings?
Guy Fox, Aug 15 2001

       As far as Carolyn's sis and Gordon's bro:   

       Carolyn's sister COLLEGE CO-ED KATRINA, sports a ponytail and comes with wardrobe of sassy fashions, dormitory playscene, books, and Martin's fraternity pin   

       Gordon's brother FRATERNITY BOY MARTIN has shaggy hair, college sweatshirt, and comes with "like a cyclone hit it" dorm playscene, mini-beer can six-pack, bedsheet toga for toga parties and fridge full of junk food
Sparki, Aug 16 2001

       Sparki, you need Feral Cheryl (see link), Australia's down-to-earth eco-warrior Barbie-substitute (Ferals are a back to nature hippy/crusty/Earth First type of thing). She's semi-hand-made in Australia, rather than by blind Burmese girls. She doesn't bother with fashion or toxic-fume-puffing cars. She has a realistic body shape and pubic hair. And she's way cuter than Barbie.   

       And most importantly for parents, she has NO ACCESSORIES.
pottedstu, Sep 22 2001

       PeterSealy, I don't know what games you played when you were a child, but you don't need accessories to make your doll have sex with Action Man. (I think Action Man = GI Joe in the USA.)
pottedstu, Sep 25 2001

       Was this the first suggestion of this idea? If so it's another HB first.
doctorremulac3, Jun 29 2014

       [Sparki] was certainly a head of her time, especially when it came to ponytail holders. As I recall.
blissmiss, Jun 29 2014


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