Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Barcoded chocolates

Avoid those orange gooey nasties
  (+3)
(+3)
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A colleague brought in some chocolates today but we couldn't match some of them to the pictures in the box lid. Is that an orange gooey nasty or is it a yummy caramel squisher?

I propose barcodes placed on each chocolate. Make them of dark and white chocolate obviously. My phone can recognise barcodes so now I could point it at the chocolate to get an objective statement of what I'm about to eat.

There would need to be international agreement between confectionary makers and consumers would have to absorb the slight increase in costs. But it's worth it for everyone who has had the unexpected unpleasantness of the orange gooey nasty.

DenholmRicshaw, Sep 11 2009

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       //an orange gooey nasty //
Dale Winton?
coprocephalous, Sep 11 2009
  

       Fixing execution issues by pointlessly switching technologies is always so much fun, isn't it?   

       [turns crank]
"A colleague brought in some chocolates today but my phone didn't recognize some of the barcodes ..."
  

       [turns crank]
"A colleague brought in some chocolates today but my RFID scanner didn't recognize some of the tags ..."
  

       [turns crank]
"A comrade brought in some tofu today but my nanometric recombobulator didn't grok some of the nucleotides ..."
jutta, Sep 11 2009
  

       // my nanometric recombobulator didn't grok some of the nucleotides //   

       Have you tried turning it off and then starting it up again ?
8th of 7, Sep 11 2009
  

       Not often Jutta gets discombobulated.
egbert, Sep 11 2009
  

       But then we would have the expected unpleasantness of nasty white chocolate.
tatterdemalion, Sep 11 2009
  

       > Chocolate melts. It gets distorted. Pieces flake off.   

       So embed the barcode as colored layers! Just bite it in half to expose the barcode to your cellphone! Simple!!!
wbeaty, Sep 11 2009
  

       Noooooo!!! Oozing, orange, gooey, nasty stuff dribbling down on to your cell phone, would cause that helpful handful of people standing behind you from Nextel to go phooff...
blissmiss, Sep 11 2009
  

       By the time the nanometric recombobulator is instantiated (which will be after the Singularity i presume), won't we all be brains in vats with electrodes in us? Bringing some chocolates in would involve major surgery.
nineteenthly, Sep 11 2009
  

       Denholm, Denholm, Denholm. This is very bad.   

       Basically, your colleague's confectioner needs to get his act together. If mine ever deviated from my list of preferred chocolates, he knows he'd be out the door before he could say "single-estate cocoa". Second, if the quality of his watercolour illustrations was so poor as to allow any doubt as to the identity of each chocolate (let alone each *type* of chocolate), he would at the very least expect a severe reprimand from myself or her Lship.   

       If your colleague can't select and manage a decent confectioner, then you may really want to revise your choice of colleagues.
MaxwellBuchanan, Sep 11 2009
  

       Well it was his last day and he is French.
DenholmRicshaw, Sep 11 2009
  

       Just put the word out. He should never confect again for any of the better houses.
MaxwellBuchanan, Sep 11 2009
  

       We once had some fine Russian chocolates in a decorative selection box. There were many different shapes but they were all filled with the same filling.
pocmloc, Sep 11 2009
  
      
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