Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Battersea Dog's Home Porridge Shower Fund Raiser

shower in porridge and allow stray dogs to lick you clean
 
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The subtitle explains the idea.

You pay some money to have a porridge shower in a nice cubicle, then allow Battersea's rescued stray dogs to lick it all off.

This process has several benefits: the Dog's Home raises some always needed cash; you get licked clean by dogs; the dogs have a feast of lovely porridge. What's not to like?

For the home pet dog owner, there is a more modest version that you can install in your own private bathroom.

xenzag, Nov 05 2017

Porridge Applicator https://metrouk2.fi...015/04/wallace2.gif
Patent pending [TomP, Nov 05 2017]

[link]






       Well, at least it's not in other: general
normzone, Nov 05 2017
  

       Will I sign you up for a shower and dog licking?
xenzag, Nov 05 2017
  

       Related prior art to be found in the [link].
TomP, Nov 05 2017
  

       I hardly call that cannon a shower. I'll book you in at Battersea for a special introductory rate. You can join normzone and scrub his back.
xenzag, Nov 05 2017
  

       // lovely porridge. //   

       Oxymoron.   

       // What's not to like? //   

       Well, porridge would be the primary thing ...   

       Knowing the poster of the idea, it will no doubt be environmentally-friendly hand-knitted macrobiotic organic feminist sugar-free vegan porridge , completely devoid of the five major food groups (bacon, fried bread, salt, sugar, and burnt crunchy bits)   

       So no, no thankyou. You can take your porridge and put it where the sun does not shine.   

       It's the poor dogs we feel sorry for ...
8th of 7, Nov 05 2017
  

       You're just jealous of TomP. I can arrange for cats to “pee off” your coating of porridge instead of the usual dog licking. How's that for special treatment?
xenzag, Nov 05 2017
  

       baconless [-]
Voice, Nov 05 2017
  

       You probably have a bacon flavoured back, so the dogs will love cleaning you. I've added your name to the porridge shower list.
xenzag, Nov 05 2017
  

       Just wear some togs,
for situations like these
surrounded by dogs
you might get fleas.
mylodon, Nov 05 2017
  

       Why, of all the dogs' homes, is it only Battersea that gets the attention?
MaxwellBuchanan, Nov 06 2017
  

       Instead of a shower of porridge, a sea of batter?
pertinax, Nov 06 2017
  

       Only in Bexhill-on-sea ....   

         

       // I can arrange for cats to “pee off” your coating of porridge //   

       Ooooh, yes, PLEASE ... that would be just wonderful. We will wear our special caesium-coated reactive armour.... <gleeful sniggering>   

       We will want to video it from multiple angles, so that afterwards we can relive the delight of watching burning, shredded, dismembered cats being hurled great distances on ballistic trajectories.
8th of 7, Nov 06 2017
  

       Would not a simple HT lead achieve the desired result, with marginally less damage to the furniture?
MaxwellBuchanan, Nov 06 2017
  

       I’m certain the superheated steam driven porridge will suffice - think Boil In The Bag with inedible contents.
xenzag, Nov 06 2017
  

       I hate to quibble*, but I am fairly certain you can't superheat porridge.   

       Superheating depends on the metastability of a liquid above its normal boiling point, which can only be sustained if there is a lack of nucleation points for vapour formation. Porridge is well-known for having multiple nucleation points (also known as "the porridge"). Therefore, superheated porridge is not, alas, possible.   

       (*This is not true.)
MaxwellBuchanan, Nov 06 2017
  

       It could be heated in a pressure vessel. If it were contained at 10 Bar and raised to just below its boiling point, on release through a nozzle the water would instantly flash to steam. However, this would probably convert the porridge back to a dessicated powder, which would then fall as a sort of unpleasantly healthy greyish oaty snow.   

       An application for this phenomenon is not immediately obvious, but seems worthy of further detailed investigation and experimentation.
8th of 7, Nov 06 2017
  

       //on release through a nozzle the water would instantly flash to steam//   

       Some of it would. The rest would most likely form a sputtering jet of sticky cholesterol lowering napalm.   

       //pay some money to have a porridge shower in a nice cubicle//   

       "Geez. I was only searching for shower fixtures which are gold plated, and came from Russia. Is that too hard to understand ?"
bigsleep, Nov 06 2017
  

       I continue to wonder why dogs enjoy showering in porridge.   

       sp. "fundraiser"
FlyingToaster, Nov 07 2017
  

       [8th]'s idea is very similar to the method of manufacture of rice crispies and other expanded/puffed breakfast cereals. They are steamed in a pressure cooker which is then rapidly decompressed (lift the lid), causing the moisture within each grain of cereal to turn into steam.
TomP, Nov 07 2017
  

       //I am fairly certain you can't superheat porridge// Now that 8th of 7 has offered himself, the opportunity is too good to miss. I'm confident that porridge can be heated under pressure to any temperature above 100C. This will be a great test of his "special caesium-coated reactive armour". The cats can lap up his liquified remains once they cool down and the lumpy bits have been sieved out.
xenzag, Nov 07 2017
  
      
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