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Beard Topiary

The next big thing in fuzzy facial furniture.
  (+3, -1)
(+3, -1)
  [vote for,

Okay, so facial hair grows in certain pre-defined places: there's not much you can do about that short of some kind of as-yet-uninvented inverted electrolysis. But, grow the hair long enough, add some industrial strength gels and waxes, and perhaps even light, chickenwire-type frame structures (the beard trellis?) and suddenly you've got a lot more to work with...

Imagine the old "arrow through the head" hat re-done as a pair of sideburns. Or the moustache bow-tie. Or - and this is my personal favourite - for that "Humpty Dumpty stole my head" look, grow a long beard in the shape of a pair of legs, and long, orthodox jew-style sideburns delicately shaped into a tiny pair of arms.

The possibilities are endless.

lostdog, Mar 03 2003


       i love it,lostdog. imagine,you dould even go for the austin powers look, you wouldnt even need the real chest hair
ShnargleMonster, Mar 03 2003

       "There was something oddly sexy about this stranger that caught Matilda's eye. Maybe it was the way his eyes danced with fire when first he looked at her from across the room. Maybe it was that cologne he was wearing. Maybe it was his french poodle beard..."
RayfordSteele, Mar 04 2003

       [lostdog] would you like a home? no!, what was I saying? have you met [farmer]? are you [farmer]? have you ever been [farmer]? are you related to [farmer]? would you like to be related to [farmer]?when did you last see your [farmer]?
po, Mar 05 2003

       I've never herded sheep, if that's what you mean, po. Still - sheep topiary: Now there's an idea to conjure with...
lostdog, Mar 05 2003

       Dave Lee Travis?
lostdog, Mar 05 2003

       DLT hah - british. no I meant are you related to our wonderful farmerjohn - compliment!   

       bliss, don't think there was a previous big thing in fuzzy facial furniture - lost dog using doggy licence
po, Mar 05 2003

       well, I didn't pay the Post Office all that money for nothing, po.   

       I don't know [farmerjohn], but over the past couple of days I've seen a few of his ideas - the kaleidoclock and the "time machine" clock mobile in particular - and so I'll take that as a compliment indeed.
lostdog, Mar 05 2003

       ho ho post office - who are you then [lost dog]?
po, Mar 05 2003

       A newbie. Stumbled across this site a couple of days ago, after doing a google search for "McGuffin". Found and idea for a coffee house where you can order coffee and a McGuffin to go (and be followed by faceless guys in dark trenchcoats as you leave...) - from that moment on I was pretty much hooked. Browsed through the archives, alternately laughing myself stupid and stroking my chin with a quiet nod; and quickly decided I like this place.
lostdog, Mar 05 2003

       ha ha...beard topiary...ha ha. sorry, random moron-laughter attack. Anyways, this also seem like it would work for chest hair. Hairy guys could finally have an advantage! (sculpt your hair into something sexy {i'm drawing a blank} and go to a bar topless...oo yeah
igirl, Mar 07 2003


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