Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Beer Insurance

Drink and Become a Wealthy OAP
  (+12, -5)
(+12, -5)
  [vote for,

Invent a beer, premium strength and premium cost, say 15p more than anything else on the market. Distribute through nationwide breweries. To purchase a pint of this little lovely you need to have a BEER INSURANCE CLUB CARD. Each purchase, the card is swiped to identify the user, the extra money that the pint costs is then put into a pension fund for the customer.

The more you drink, the more you save.

If, on the off chance, you die before you draw your pension then the money you have saved is put back into the comapny to produce a greater range of beverages.

The Knife, Aug 21 2002

Beer Insurance... again.... http://www.halfbake...urance_20for_20Beer
see alx's comment... [user24, Oct 17 2004]


       "Save as you drink" .... what a motto. Croissant.
8th of 7, Aug 21 2002

       Great idea! I would go for it on one condition - that the money you eventually get back could only be claimed in the form of booze.
sild, Aug 21 2002

       //Each purchase, the card is swiped to identify the user, //   

       Great, something else we can to add to your FBI file.
dag, Aug 21 2002

       Why not just buy shares in Watneys?
DrCurry, Aug 21 2002

       When you buy booze or smokes at many stores in Michigan, they swipe your driver's license through a card reader on the cash register.. The store claims it's only to validate your birthday, and they have no idea why there's a telephone cable plugged into the card reader.   

       Overheard at FBI: Great, here's ANOTHER american who insists on buying imported beers.. we're going to have to do something about that...
Mr Burns, Aug 21 2002

       This is idea is so good it has be to baked somewhere ...
Aristotle, Aug 21 2002

       DrCurry: // Why not just buy shares in Watneys ? // Because [The Knife] intends this idea to work with beer, not recycled horse P155. If you labour under the misapprehension that Watneys brew beer in the accepted sense of the word ("A palatable alcoholic beverage, suitable for human consumption"), I can only conclude that the voices in your head must be particularly loud and convincing today.
8th of 7, Aug 21 2002

       Peculiarly, grizzled old jakies always have enough money for beer. Life is all about priorities.
calum, Aug 21 2002

       What sort of a return are we getting here? Wouldn't I be better off taking that additional 15p (or whatever) and putting it into a mutual fund or CD?   

       Give me some kind of interest on my beer fund and it might be worthwhile. Otherwise the money's ability to earn is lost. Beer's good but not that good.
waugsqueke, Aug 21 2002

       // Beer's good but not that good. //   

       And with that remark, the case of the Crown vs. Waugsqueke was proven......   

       I think the idea is for some sort of mutual fund, so it would have the same stature as a CD or Unit Trust. The return could be health insurance for your liver transplant. Stockholder meetings would be interesting, given that all the members would be confirmed p155heads .....
8th of 7, Aug 21 2002

       Can I buy more beer with that money? It's not food stamps <g>
jimmyg869, Aug 21 2002

       8th of 7: I am well aware of the quality of Watneys' so-called beer. Now reread my annotation. (Sheesh - do I have to explain *everything* ?)   

       waugs: my point.
DrCurry, Aug 21 2002

       ^Hands The Knife some beer bread.^
thumbwax, Aug 21 2002

       I thought this was going to be an additional premium you'd pay on your drink so it'd get replaced if you spilled it everywhere.
-alx, Aug 21 2002


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