Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Beer 'Pump'

Personal taps with a meter indicating quantity dispensed and cost
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Instead of getting up from the table to head over to the bar, or trying to wave down the waitress, what if every table at your favorite pub had its own taps and you could dispense at will while a meter kept track of the amount of beer you've dispensed and the total cost (think Gas Pump). Then you could sit all night, not wait for that refill, and have fresh beer all the time. Add a credit card swipe and you can even pay at the table.
jfromm, Oct 07 2002

(??) completely http://check-o.com/...Keg-Stand-Berto.gif
hatstand [thumbwax, Oct 09 2002, last modified Oct 04 2004]

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       Would there be access from the floor? Just wondering. <g>
blissmiss, Oct 07 2002
  

       Ah, but you *know* the guy who was at the table just before you walked in had the nozzle in his mouth. He also had typhoid.
phoenix, Oct 07 2002
  

       [phoenix]-do you ride the subway/metro/tube/bus? at least the beer has some sort of alcohol content to kill *some* of the germs.
jfromm, Oct 07 2002
  

       Do it garage forecourt style with big pumps
dare99, Oct 07 2002
  

       1. Some large brewery owned pubs have taps (well, screens) that display the amount of beer poured vs amount of beer sold, as a means of preventing staff pilfering the booze. So this is a bake-able application of existing technology.   

       2. The taps could be rested in some sort of sterilising fluid when not in use, so as to prevent the spread of illness.
calum, Oct 07 2002
  

       This is baked in some London pubs, I remember hearing. (and probably in Japan, but that shouldn't count)
yamahito, Oct 07 2002
  

       Where has this idea been all my life. But seriously I think you should probably get the money up front or your going to have some very sloshed patrons insisting that they are being overcharged come closing time.   

       Jeez - just put a breathalyzer on the outlet.
DrCurry, Oct 09 2002
  

       Or make the switch that turns it in very small, and make it move all the time. Only the relativley sober could catch it!
dare99, Oct 09 2002
  

       [Phoenix] To solve the problem of the typhoid man slobbering all over the nozzle, just add a disposable straw attachment onto the end of it. When you are done drinking you just throw it away. I suppose some hooligans could stick the nozzle up their ass or something. To solve that you should make the nozzle extremely spikey.
squiffyboy, Oct 09 2002
  

       How would you account for the excess froth or head on a beer? It's not uncommon for a tap to produce a bad pour. Having a tap on for x amount of time will not always equal the same amount of drinkable beer.
dag, Oct 09 2002
  

       people would waste more money on booze, get drunker and minors (like me) would sneak in and drink without being ID by bartender. im all for this idea!
i-Mer, Oct 10 2002
  

       A very good idea to increase your sales, and comfortable for the customer, too. Now, you just have to integrate the toilet into the chairs...
Saruman, Nov 25 2004
  

       If I put my boring hat on I think of problems with under-age drinkers .. people drinking what they can't afford .. hygiene as idiots shove crisps up the nozzle when they leave .. and people drinking themselves into a coma and dying, goodbye license my landlord.   

       But -- if I take the boring hat off .. I think of wild parties and lots of fun without queuing at the bar.
britboy, Nov 26 2004
  
      
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