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Bird-of-Prey Feeder

Tie squirrels to platform and watch hawks swoop down to eat them.
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(+6, -5)
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Millions of dollars are spent on backyard bird feeding. But as an avid bird watcher I see that all the attention, and food, is for the song birds. Combined with the fact that many of these backyard birdfeeders are ritually torn to shreds by squirrels, this Raptor Feeder will solve lots of problems.

Place a 2'x2' plywood platform ontop of a 10' pole in your back yard. Catch the squirrels that raid your seed-filled feeders. Attach the foot of the squirrel to an eyehook in the center of the platform with a string/rope.

The squirrel (a favorite treat for some raptors) will be an easy access for local raptors. You can relax in your livingroom and wait for the Hawks to swoop down.

I realize this may seem drastic and cruel, but squirrels are not threatened. Many birds-of-prey are.

dory, Jul 03 2002

Bird trap and cat feeder http://www.delphion...ils?pn=US04150505__
For kluger and anyone else who wants to catch birds and feed them to cats. [pottedstu, Jul 05 2002, last modified Oct 04 2004]

Squirrel skinning apparatus http://www.delphion...ils?pn=US04625363__
In case you get bored feeding your squirrels to birds of prey. Thank you archvillain.com [pottedstu, Jul 05 2002, last modified Oct 04 2004]


       How would you release the prey to the raptor, unattended? They aren't going to stick around and eat, I wouldn't think.   

       You could go one step further, too, and make a cat feeder that will hold a bird of prey. Simply attach the foot of the bird of prey to an eyehook in the center of the platform with a string/rope.   

       Then dog feeder, then coyote/wolf feeder, then bear feeder, then...well, I guess you couldn't get much further than that, but you get the point.
kluger, Jul 03 2002

       I have to disagree on several petty grounds ;) Despite the fact that your name stands for a greek spear in ancient greek (literally translated Doru, and thus "spear") on several grounds. Firstly birds of prey are so called for a reason and hand feeding them would be pointless, useless and lead to their eventual domestication (or if not something similar)
secondly I like squirrels... sacrificing them upon the altar of preyness is wrong!!!!
finally I am hammered and whatever I say goes (at least until the next halfbaker comes along to rip shreds into my argument!) and yes I have made sure things are spelt correctly ;) at least if they arent I am in no fit state to correct them. Grammar however is fair game ;)
The_Englishman_Abroad, Jul 03 2002

       Or just go feed pigeons in the park, knowing that you are fattening up the next meal for the town hawks.
DrCurry, Jul 04 2002

       Birds-of-prey have also ritually eaten the songbirds right in front of my eyes in a park near my home. 'Twas a gory sight indeed. They are petty cannibals, if you will, and I have no wish to invite them into our backyard.
polartomato, Jul 04 2002

       This would be a great educational tool for the children. Have the rodent chained to the feeder so it would still be alive when the bird of prey swoops down.
packrat, Jul 04 2002

       What would be really cool is to see a bird of prey catch a flying squirrel in mid-flight, and then kind of surf to the ground on its back and then, well, kill it.
sild, Jul 04 2002

       Squirrel catapult or launcher; when a raptor flies overhead (identified by image recognition system programmed with distinctive wing shapes) it fires a squirrel on a ballistic trajectory, using compressed air. Either it is caught in flight, or falls stunned to the ground, where it is pounced on and eaten. I can envisage a sort of revolver loading system for the cannon, each chamber loaded with a squirrel, or "Nasty bushy-tailed verminous tree rat" as they are more properly known. Squirrels aren't an endangered species - what a shame. Maybe we can make them that way.
8th of 7, Jul 04 2002

       You say use a 10-foot-high pole, then you say relax in your living room and watch. I'm being really pedantic now, but most people's living rooms are on the ground floor, and people with first floor flats generally won't be able to install their own bird table at ground level. And if you live in a bungalow you are totally screwed. Therefore, relaxing in your living room to watch would be impossible.
NickTheGreat, Jul 04 2002

       NickTheGreat: Wireless CCTV camera on the top of the pole, get a prey's eye view of the whole event. Tiny windscreen wash/wipe facility to keep the blood and gore off the lens for uninterrupted viewing fun.
8th of 7, Jul 04 2002

       An aquaintance of mine was a falconer--he had a permit from the State to capture wild hawks and to train hawks for his personal use. He devised a capture method using a Bird of Prey Feeder idea: he fastened a sort of fishnet vest on a domestic pigeon. The vest was configured to let the pigeon fly, and it had a long cord hanging from it. Then my friend would drive the backroads of Central Oregon (sagebrush steppe) until he saw a hawk of an interesting species (rough-legged or Swainsons, no common red-tails for him!).   

       Then he would toss the pigeon out the car window, cord leash dangling. The pigeon could fly but was obviously a bit weighed down by the contraption. The hawk, seeing a prey bird making heavy weather of it, would often stoop on the pigeon. With luck, the hawk's talons would become tangled in the fishnet, the dangling cord would become tangled in a sagebrush clump, and my friend would get a chance to look at the hawk and, if he wished, add it to his mews.   

       (Generally, though, he just looked and released. As I recall he preferred to buy hybrid birds bred in captivity.)
Dog Ed, Jul 05 2002

       [8th of 7]: what an idea
NickTheGreat, Jul 05 2002

       I like the idea of a chipmunk trebuchet.
waugsqueke, Jul 05 2002

       Not quite the same, but surely relevant is US Patent 4150505: Bird Trap and Cat Feeder: "A bird trap and cat feeder for catching birds and feeding the birds to a cat. The trap designed to catch birds the size of a sparrow while releasing smaller song birds, wrens, swallows, or the like. The feeder providing means for continuously supplying a cat or neighborhood cats with sparrows to eat."
pottedstu, Jul 05 2002

       Ratapult? Ruh-uh!! --- Scooby Doo.
Matty, Jul 05 2002

       A recent report states that many raptors have been treated for pentabutylene overdoses because they've scavanged their meals from euthanized dogs and cats at landfills. Maybe this isn't such an inappropriate idea for the health of our preying resources.
reensure, Jul 05 2002


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