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Birth Audience

Sell tickets to watch a live birth
(+5, -5)
  [vote for,

Equip hospital birthing rooms with a large viewing window behind which are positioned several rows of seats. Sell tickets for these seats so people can come to watch a live birth when it happens.

Purchasers can choose a general ticket (for next available birth) or can opt to watch a specific mother. Notify ticket holders by text or phone when the birth is about to occur so they can get to the hospital and get seated in time.

Expectant mothers receive a share of the profit for their participation (which is voluntary).

tatterdemalion, Jun 02 2011

Miracle of Birth Center http://www.mnstatef...hibits/chs_mob.html
The Minnesota State Fair advertises this as an eductional opportunity for children. No hospital room, just a pile of straw on the floor, kinky pervs. [Laughs Last, Jun 04 2011]


       Hmmm - what proportion of mothers are you expecting to volunteer for this?
hippo, Jun 02 2011

       yurgh! there are a few who would do this.
dentworth, Jun 02 2011

       In biology class in high school, we were shown a live birth on film - not a pretty sight !!, a lot of loud screams, panicky actions by the competent staff, and the culmination : a purble-blue slimey little monster, in chok from having survived an exsistential crisis (havings it's skull compressed, and not having to move for a number of minutes,..).
sirau, Jun 02 2011

       When I had my daughter, they positioned a mirror so I could watch- BUT I closed my eyes instead!!
xandram, Jun 02 2011

       [hippo] that would be hard to determine without some proper market research. I can't say but I would guess that there would be some who would choose it. At a busy maternity ward it wouldn't need many to volunteer for there to be a consistent showing.   

       The idea came to me after thinking about the people who gather to watch executions of prisoners. This is essentially the reverse of that. Of course they would have in common the need for a window drape that could be closed quickly in case something went wrong.
tatterdemalion, Jun 02 2011

doctorremulac3, Jun 03 2011

       Spectators would enjoy it more if the birthings were like a race and the babies had to crawl across a finish line, urged onwards by the supportive slapping of their bottoms and perhaps an enticing boob placed somewhere in the distance.
rcarty, Jun 03 2011

       [rcarty] It would be an awfully long race... Babies can't crawl until they're about ten months old, and newborns are too nearsighted to see anything in the distance.
Alx_xlA, Jun 03 2011

       Then there shall be a stainless steel slide descending from the mouth of the birth canal upon which babies can descend, into a pool of water where they will propelled via wave action towards a finish line, or by a boob dangled out of reach before them as a carrot to a horse.
rcarty, Jun 03 2011

       baby + boob just out of reach = perpetual motion machine?
daseva, Jun 03 2011

       Tickets for the conception would sell better.
MaxwellBuchanan, Jun 03 2011

       [MaxwellBuchanan] :   

       Baked ! :   

       see : XXX-rated.com @ amsterdam.peep-show.nl ,,,   

sirau, Jun 03 2011

       An interesting idea, [tatterd]. I doubt you'd have to worry about scalpers.   

       I saw a live birth... the couple invited us to photograph the event. An amazing evolution. I don't want to do that again. (Life was so much simpler when I thought a stork was involved)   

       [ ]
Grogster, Jun 04 2011

       //When I had my daughter, they positioned a mirror so I could watch- BUT I closed my eyes instead!!// ([xandram])   

       Kind of the inverse of Mark Twain's response to the can-can: "I placed my hands before my face for very shame, but I looked through my fingers."
spidermother, Jun 04 2011

       Hey, [pertinax] do you have a source for "Inter urinas et faeces nascimur" ? Seems variously attributed to St. Augustine, Tertullian, or "Early Church Fathers" (it *would* be "fathers" wouldn't it).
mouseposture, Jun 04 2011

       Now, if I just keep quiet, maybe [mouseposture] will assume that I knew the answer really but just hadn't noticed the question...
pertinax, Jun 04 2011

       No; I'll bluff. My money would be on Tertullian. This is because (a) Tertullian and Augustine could both be described as "early church fathers", so there are really only two named alternatives here, (b) Augustine is better known and more often quoted than Tertullian, therefore I infer (c) that a saying of Tertullian is more likely to be misattributed to Augustine than vice versa.   

       But I really have no idea.   

       ... except that I have a feeling this saying might be quoted in Anthony Burgess' novel Earthly Powers and if he ascribes a source, which he might not, then that source is likely (though not certain) to be the right one.
pertinax, Jun 04 2011

       //live birth//   

       The move from egg laying was a mistake in the long run.
ldischler, Jun 04 2011

       A straw poll of chickens shows wide support for your position.
mouseposture, Jun 04 2011


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