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# Birthptism

Two births with one cistern
 (+5) [vote for, against]

I'm not much for church going.
Nothing against it mind you, I just didn't end up raised that way, so if this offends some people ...well, so be it.

I was baptized Anglican.
My mom likes to tell the story about how the priest was pissed drunk, and proceeded to chuck the holy water out the open window at the end of the service, so we're not sure how well it took.
If the birth had just taken place in a bath full of holy water then it would have taken for sure...

...or my head would have spun around repeatedly while spitting up pea soup.
Either way;
Tub of holy water \$199.95
Closure;... priceless.

 — 2 fries shy of a happy meal, Feb 26 2010

Hagiometry Hagiometry_2c_20or_...ation_20of_20saints
Also note [RS]' link [csea, Feb 26 2010]

shameless self promotion for a shameless idea The_20Sacrament_20of_20Fisting
[ye_river_xiv, Feb 28 2010]

John 3:16
 — rcarty, Feb 26 2010

So, then you could have it at the Cistern Chapel. +
 — xenzag, Feb 26 2010

If holy water is made from ordinary water by the blessing action of a man in a dress, then why not get all the various popelings to have one giant blessing and bless all the water in the world (maybe divided into rain, oceans, freshwater, aquifers, etc. to make the job a bit easier).
 — pocmloc, Feb 26 2010

There must be some rate of change at which holy water becomes unholy again, probably determined by the amount of times it gets flushed through the sewage system. Using some advanced fluid flow analysis, perhaps some 2nd order differential equations, and some Matlab or FEA code, we could show a flowrate map of the dispersion of holy water throughout localized regions. Significant variables to include: Number of Catholics, Anglicans, or other 'High Church' members / meter^2, holiness level of the local bishop in the church and the number of times he's been to the Vatican, St. Andrews, or wherever,number of saints originating from the region, distance to the local water treatment plant, age of the septic system, mercury content, presence of any bottling facilities, and the inverse of the number of Walmarts in the region.
 — RayfordSteele, Feb 26 2010

If you're Anglican then you already an angel!
or did I get that wrong and you're an angler!
 — xandram, Feb 26 2010

Angler *fish*, surely?
 — nineteenthly, Feb 26 2010

St. Rule was charged with the holy casket containing the relics of St Andrew, and was instructed to carry them on a proselytising mission to the ends of the earth. When he arrived in Fife he realised that he had reached his destination.
 — pocmloc, Feb 26 2010

[+] for inventing a word containing "thpt"
 — mouseposture, Feb 27 2010

Yes, Daffy would approve.
 — RayfordSteele, Feb 27 2010

But what of the unborn? Oh, I have a solution... but the cure may be worse than the disease.
 — ye_river_xiv, Feb 28 2010

//If holy water is made from ordinary water by the blessing action of a man in a dress//
Surely by now, all water is holy, by the action of homeopathy?
 — coprocephalous, Mar 01 2010

//If holy water is made from ordinary water by the blessing action of a man in a dress, then why not get all the various popelings to have one giant blessing and bless all the water in the world// - have you never heard of the half-life of Holy Water? It doesn't just stay holy for ever you know...
 — hippo, Mar 01 2010

It's interesting that the divine properties of physical materials don't always decay in the same way. So, while holy water has a relatively short half-life, saints' relics appear to remain holy for a much longer period. Perhaps these relics are initially imbued with an enormous amount of holiness, or perhaps there are several 'isotopes' of holiness with different half-lives.
 — hippo, Mar 01 2010

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