Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Blood Glory Hole

  (+18, -2)(+18, -2)
(+18, -2)
  [vote for,

A large plywo[o]d or MDF board with an arm-sized hole in it, that I can stick my arm through when giving blood, so as to eliminate the possibility of catching a horrifying glimpse of faint-inducing blood donation equipment.
calum, Jan 18 2008

Spare me the madness! http://www.moviedea...rdon/young_treeman/
You don't want to put your arm in *that* hole. [Jinbish, Jan 18 2008]

Rubber Hand Illusion http://www.youtube....watch?v=TCQbygjG0RU
Seeing is believing. [MaxwellBuchanan, Jan 18 2008]

v.v.v.interesting glory holes http://fogonazos.bl...rain-hole-ever.html
work safe (honest) [ConsulFlaminicus, Jan 20 2008]

For [calum] http://www.theonion...cartoon/dec-10-2007
Now, roll your sleeve up... [Jinbish, Jan 23 2008]


jtp, Jan 18 2008

       For sure. But if accommodation can be made for sissies like me, then there's even less reason for sissies like me not to give blood which must be, like, a good thing?
calum, Jan 18 2008

       It's possible you might have to come up with a new name for it. I'm not sure what would happen if you turned up at the blood bank and said "Where's the Glory Hole?"
hippo, Jan 18 2008

       sp: Gory.
skinflaps, Jan 18 2008

       It would indeed be a good thing. I just wanted to call you a sissy.   

       sp: plywood.   

       Maybe do a hi-tech version with a tft screen instead of plywood, which displays a video of a normal arm with fingers drumming on the table, thus giving the illusion that you're actually just sitting there passing time, drumming your fingers on the table, and not having your lifeblood sucked out of you. Maybe.
jtp, Jan 18 2008

       Yeah, the title comes packaged with a whole ream of unpleasant connotations that I find quite flinchsome.
zen_tom, Jan 18 2008

       Pull the kilt up over your head.
ConsulFlaminicus, Jan 18 2008

       Good grief - just look the other way!   

       (I share your squeamishness, having had way too much blood taken from me in my lifetime, but there is a large element of choice in your situation, so I am entirely unsympathetic.)
DrCurry, Jan 18 2008

       if they hide my donor arm and offer me chocolate distractions on my pie-hole side, I'd be donoring more often I think.
dentworth, Jan 18 2008

       [DrC], I did. But if the glory hole had been in place, I would have been less apprehensive. Fortunately, I got plenty of sympathy from the very lovely nurses, so I am not suffering from your withholding.   

       Re the title: I couldn't think of anything suitably snappy that was as (or more) descriptive.   

       TFT adaptation is a good one, yeah. Particularly if you can choose the hand-style. "I'll have the arm of a teenage beach-volleyball star, complete with french manicure, please."
calum, Jan 18 2008

       I have a hard time voting for anything labeled "Glory Hole." Disturbingly enough, I also have a hard time NOT voting for it.   

       Couldn't you call it the "Blood Bung" or something?   

       ([+], but I didn't have a good time doing it.)
shapu, Jan 18 2008

       I think we can agree on the bad title, but that is just for catchiness, so I completely understand. I share your squeamishness, but don't understand how this works for a person laying down, which is how I always am when giving blood. I assume some pass out. But in any case (+) for trying to expand our blood supply.
MisterQED, Jan 18 2008

       Open the other side of the plywood to a paying audience of blood fetishists, and split the revenue 50/50.
jutta, Jan 18 2008

zen_tom, Jan 18 2008

       don't they put the collection bag out of sight on the floor in Scotland?
po, Jan 18 2008

       One of our red cross's is in our mall. Last year the adjacent store unit in mall was a haunted house, with loud screams and other sound effects coming through the wall. I donated blood to horrifying sounds of murders and gouls....   

       goddamn that was a tangent. [-] to this idea. Make donating blood more interesting. I think there should be plasma TV's mounted on the ceiling above the donation beds. You could change the channels with a remote in your hand instead of squeezing a peice of foam.
evilpenguin, Jan 18 2008

       You could have much more fun than this. While your real arm is out of sight, you could do the "rubber hand" illusion (see link).
MaxwellBuchanan, Jan 18 2008

       "plasma TVs" - ha!
DrCurry, Jan 18 2008

       //blood fetishists// Jesus, I bet these do exist, that was information I never hoped to know.
MisterQED, Jan 18 2008

       // Make donating blood more interesting //   

       The question should be posed (not entirely in monetary terms), "what is a unit of blood worth" ?   

       Well, to some people, it's literally the difference between life and death. Sounds emotive, but it's true.   

       This makes blood a difficult "commodity" to value. In some geographies, donors are paid, in others it is voluntary.   

       There is a widespread but not universal view that blood donation is a social "duty" but with a self interested twist; you never know when you might need some yourself, so it's not entirely altruistic. People give blood so that if they are in need, they may benefit from the kindness of strangers.   

       Having waffled quite a bit, we even now approcah the point of our argument.   

       Donors in the UK give their time and precious bodily fluids for "free". The most they can expect in return is a cup of weak lukewarm tea and a slightly stale plain biscuit. However, if the process were made more enjoyable, more donors might be attracted, rather than offering financial rewards.   

       We suggest that a suitable compensation might be achieved by giving the donor aromatherapy, reflexology or massage treatment while they are being vampirised. All are essentailly passive experiences that can be enjoyed by a recumbent person and should distract the donor and lower their stress level (probably with a beneficial effect on serum cortisol levels). There are other socially acceptable activities, i.e. haircuts, that could also be offered. To complete the circle, the people administering the treatment could be college trainees who benefit from access to a predictable pool of volunteers.
8th of 7, Jan 18 2008

       or chocolate, come on say it.
dentworth, Jan 18 2008

       Needs a coma after word "inducing" - (pesky pedant on a roll tonight), who brings a croissant, because I would give blood if they would let me use this - most excellent +
xenzag, Jan 18 2008

       Interestingly, my wife loves glory holes and hates giving blood. At last a solution that I can support, and will benefit the blood needy of the world.
Arcana, Jan 19 2008

       // Needs a coma after word "inducing" // Why a coma when they've already fainted? Or did you mean you'd prefer some grammatically incorrect punctuation?
lurch, Jan 19 2008

       Pedant hoist by own petard.... I meant comma of course.
xenzag, Jan 19 2008

       // I meant comma of course //   

       Unconscious irony ?
8th of 7, Jan 19 2008

       Perhaps to make things more exciting the procedure could take place on a special rollercoaster (ride is complementary).
Spacecoyote, Jan 20 2008

       I'd go for the massage thing.   

       [Arcana] //my wife loves glory holes//. Tell us more, or image google 'glory hole' and report back.
ConsulFlaminicus, Jan 20 2008

       Oh I see, it's something to do with glass blowing. As you were.
ConsulFlaminicus, Jan 20 2008

       We always called the door way into the attic space the glory hole.
xenzag, Jan 20 2008

       Sorry. Not the place for my rantings.
saxman, Jan 20 2008

       No, you need to leave room for everyone else .....
8th of 7, Jan 20 2008

       The first type of glory hole I ever came across was the large recess-cupboard in the hallways of tenement flats. The second glory hole was the drilled aperture in the wall dividing cubicles in the lavatories of the Variety Bar on Sauchiehall Street. After seeing the second and then learning of its name, I found it very hard to listen to my mum saying things like "I probably shoved it in the glory hole".   

       Anyway, yes, the blood bag is kept out of sight, but the needle and the tube are not. I'd really rather not have to look at any of the equipment, to have to consider the fact that they are draining me of some of my self. No, I'd rather I could separate me from the process entirely. Perhaps if the nurses need amusement, they could paint pictures of animals, suitably positioned that my arm becomes the trunk, leg, arm or pizzle.
calum, Jan 21 2008

       // was rewarded with a howl of pain from the next cubicle //   

       ...... and then off you went to Law School .....
8th of 7, Jan 21 2008

       You wish ...
8th of 7, Jan 21 2008

       I prefer not to stick my arm into any mysterious hole, especially if I know there's something on the other side that wants my blood.
ye_river_xiv, Jan 21 2008

       Where's your sense of adventure ?
8th of 7, Jan 22 2008

       I wasn't suggesting - well, I didn't mean to suggest - that the blood glory hole afford the same sort of total anonymity as a common or garden glory hole for cocks, rather the partition element of the blood glory hole would be such that it would make it impossible to see the blood extraction equipment while making it possible to see the friendly nurse who is carrying out the procedure, the friendliness of the nurses going a very long way towards making the experience bearable.
calum, Jan 22 2008

       // friendliness of the nurses //   

       They don't have to be REAL nurses .... just dressed as nurses ....
8th of 7, Jan 22 2008

       Finally got around to reading this at home - with a title like that, I didn't dare open it at work. Anticoagulated bun.   

       That reminds me, time to give again...
elhigh, Feb 13 2008

       I went to the plasma bank to donate, but I didn't get handled by a real nurse; I got wood.   

       Nah. That would flash me back to when our principal would make us stick out head into the fire escape ladder before he administered paddling, so we couldn't run away.
reensure, Feb 13 2008


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