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Bucket of blood

Carry an extra bucket full of blood with you at all times
  (+7, -11)
(+7, -11)
  [vote for,

It seems to me that blood donation is too much of a messy and painful business, but this can all be sorted with the bucket of blood! Basically, a wire would be inserted into an artery, allowing blood to leave and be channelled into the bucket, and a wire would leave the bucket and be reinserted into the other open end of the artery. The wire will leave the body, and go in two directions, the first being a straight line to the other end of the artery (used as a safety precaution should the bucket be dropped). And the other direction will obviously lead into the bucket.

Now the patient has a bucket they will always carry with them, which, as their blood cells duplicate, will eventually fill. The bucket will be kept at a constant temperature, and will employ the use of fans/impellers, to keep the blood moving at all times to stop it clotting. A valve will be added also to relieve air pressure which may build up as the blood duplicates (thus reducing blood pressure and being a positive boon to the more 'gravitationally selfish' among us) From then on, should blood be donated, they can simply open the bucket in a sterilised environment and tip it into the intended recepticle.

fridge duck, Jan 11 2005


       because they always take from my right arm and I am upside down to everyone else +1   

       reading on... eh?
po, Jan 11 2005

       Do you really mean wire?   

       This could save me a trip and about an hour every 8 weeks. Amazing how long the entire process takes when you consider that I pretty consistently pump out a pint in 4 to 5 minutes. All things considered, I think I'll pass, thanks.   

       If you're an excessive consumer of alcoholic beverages, maybe you could save yourself the trouble of swallowing by injecting some alcohol directly in to the blood stream.
half, Jan 11 2005

       What about a bucket of lymph? That could be handy too!
bungston, Jan 11 2005

       You don't need to carry the bucket around with you all the time, do you? You could just have an úber-valve that controls the external flow. A futuristic blood bank could just be a load of taps you connect your blood pipe to and turn the valve on full for 5 minutes.
pooduck, Jan 11 2005

       well ideally you would need to keep it with you at all times, since the blood will be coursing through your body constantly and the cells would just die and not be replaced if left un connected.
fridge duck, Jan 11 2005

       Arrhhhhh me hearties!!   

       Oh sorry, wrong idea.
zen_tom, Jan 11 2005

       I suppose this is trivial, but an impeller would probably cause clotting. I'm not sure if it's been tested. I think this would be a good decoy if you were being pursued by vampires, but rather the opposite while swimming.
tiromancer, Jan 11 2005

       An extra pint or two in the circulatory system would be handy in case of sudden blood loss (motorcycle accident, chain saw accident). In a case where the paramedics can't make it to you fast enough to replace the blood and stop the bleeding, it could save your life.   

       But until then, your heart would be strained by pumping all that extra blood. The extra blood volume could cause hypertension. So, it's a trade-off.
robinism, Jan 11 2005

       What controls how much blood we have in our systems? It's supposed to be 7/8 pints right? But how does the body know if there's enough/too much etc? After enlargening the circulatory system (with a bucket, or perhaps with a mesh of tubes that lie next to the skin) would our blood-volume simply increase to pad-out the space?
Interesting idea - since the generation of blood must take a certain amount on calorific energy, those of a gravitational advantage may well find this a sneaky way to lessen themselves avoiding salads or surgury, whilst simultaneously providing plenty of surplus juices for those in need of them.
zen_tom, Jan 11 2005

       Much too tempting to carry the thing around with me everywhere I go--I'd probably end up drinking the whole thing.
Machiavelli, Jan 11 2005

       Thanks tiromancer for that thought about the vampires, it adds ever more practical applications to the project. How would the impeller cause clotting though?
fridge duck, Jan 11 2005

       *massive sarcasm* Yes, vampires are one of the major problems with society. You really have to watch out for those existant fiends *end sarcasm*
pooduck, Jan 11 2005

       Death rate among users from deliberate acts of vampirism - nil (ignoring California).   

       Death rate among users from infection and sepsis - about 95% within six months.
ConsulFlaminicus, Jan 12 2005

       [CF], why ignoring California? Is the only existing vampire coven in CA? Or...are you saying that Californians are blood suckers in general?
Machiavelli, Jan 12 2005

       Well, market research professionals tell me that surveys from there are often discounted because of the (pardon the bigoted term) ' wierdo' factor - there are just so many people who are living in some kind of delusional fantasy that gravitate to and settle in CA that interviewers can never be sure whether respondents are answering questions as a real person or as a Klingon. I'm assuming that there would be a sufficiently high population of self-identifying vampires in CA to skew the data from there off zero.
ConsulFlaminicus, Jan 12 2005

       The bucket is actually sealed, thus preventing any bacteria/viruses etc entering the blood. 95% is an extremely over-dramaticised prediction for the number of deaths (if any).
fridge duck, Jan 12 2005

       The bucket may be sealed [fridge duck], but the catheter entry points can not be sealed. I thought 95% was a bit generous, as I can't imagine anyone surviving more than a few months, going about their daily business in non-sterile environments, with this device as described.
ConsulFlaminicus, Jan 12 2005

       A guy I know who received regular dialysis treatments had a thingie permanantly inserted in his arm so they could hook him up. Maybe you could use something like that.
robinism, Jan 12 2005

       Why can't the area be sealed off by an anti-septic seal of some sort?
pooduck, Jan 12 2005

       The impeller may not cause clotting but may damage the individual cells leading to a collection of 'sludge' cells at the bottom of the bucket.   

       Increasing or decreasing the circulatory volume (the space for the blood to circulate) does lead to a change in total blood volume but this takes time. During my amputation, this and the use of a bloodless field were used to manage blood loss.   

       A sudden increase in the space available for the blood to circulate in leads to hypovolaemic shock which doctors call a 'bad thing'.
oneoffdave, Jan 12 2005

       Maybe the bucket's volume can gradually be increased over time?
pooduck, Jan 12 2005

       Also who here can honestly say that they'd be bothered to be weighed down with a bucket all day, every day? Surely it would become cumbersome, and look pretty daft.   

       Is bucket really the term you are looking for? As the loss of use of a hand would be a definite disadvantage if you were to be spontaneously chased by gangs, wolves, vampires, leprecauns etc.   

       That said, I like the idea. Purely because it proves once and for all that we are slowly moving closer to soylent green being a reality. [+]
hidden truths, Jan 12 2005

       Poka-yoke the attachments to avoid mishap with the colostomy bucket i'm testing right now and I might help you test this as well. Call me
JungFrankenstein, Jan 12 2005

       The author apparently knows nothing about blood transfusions and gives no real practical advice as to how the 'bucket' (read: not a real bucket) is to be constructed.
BTW, fans *and* impellers?
gnomethang, Jan 12 2005

       I'm still curious about blood flowing through wires.
half, Jan 12 2005

       Fine then, wires/small tubes, I didn't see that much of a difference when I first published the idea. Also [hidden truths], if you want to be that picky, then there is no such thing as a bucket - if by definition a bucket is a container for water, then any bucket containing anything but water is no longer a bucket. Besides, it could just be a tank to be carried around on the back of the carrier, as you would carry a back pack. I did actually add a safety precaution to the bucket incase it was dropped, though it is a little hard to explain without it being drawn - basically if the bucket it damaged then it can be detached and the wire (or small tube) which connects each end of the artery directly, will be used.
fridge duck, Jan 12 2005

       I pictured the blood as actuallly being in one of those plastic bags they use at the blood bank. The plastic bag would then sit in the bucket.   

       [oneoffdave] says too much space for blood is a bad thing. That gets me thinking...   

       You could regulate your blood pressure using the bag. The bag would continuously expand and contract according to your pulse. If you see it expand more than usual, open a valve that increases the capacity of the bag slightly. If you don't see enough pulse when looking at the bag (as would be the case during the initial filling) then deccrease the capacity of the bag until you see the correct pulse again.
robinism, Jan 12 2005

       I like [robbinism]s idea but I must confess that I would jump on the bag just to hear the loud popping sound.
hidden truths, Jan 12 2005

       It would make CPR certification more fun.   

       How about lungs-in-a-bucket?
tiromancer, Jan 12 2005

       Aye... this idea just gives me the shivers... Anything involving needles, surgery, scalpals, or blood just creeps me out. I watched "remaking Vince Neil" on Vh1 and watching the plastic surgery just gave me the creeps! The way the surgeons cut and force the scalpals and stuff just seems so.. careless. They just jam the instruments in there making it look like it would REALLY hurt. I don't approve of surgery. Erm... how did I even get this far off course anyway?   

       Jeuse, this last month my life just sucks. I get in fights with my parents all the time, my grades are falling and people just piss me off. Nothing goes my way anymore.
EvilPickels, Jan 14 2005

       Cheer up, [EP] You know what Python says;   

       Some things in life are bad They can really make you mad Other things just make you swear and curse When you're chewing on life's gristle Don't grumble, give a whistle And this'll help things turn out for the best, hey   

       If life seems jolly rotten There's something you've forgotten And that's to laugh and smile and dance and sing When you're feeling in the dumps Don't be silly chumps Just purse you're lips and whistle, that's the thing   

       For life is quite absurd And death's the final word You must always face the curtain with a bow Forget about your sin Give the audience a grin Enjoy it, it's your last chance of the hour   

       Life's a piece o' shit When you look at it Life's a laugh and death's a joke it's true You'll see it's all a show Keep 'em laughing as you go Remember that the last laugh is on you   

       And, always look on the bright side of life Always look on the right side of life Come on, [EP] cheer up!   

       Worse things happen at sea, you know Always look on the bright side of life I mean, what do you have to lose You come from nothing You go back to nothing What have you lost, nothing Always look on the bright side of life
ConsulFlaminicus, Jan 14 2005


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