Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Young folk these days go in for wild things like tattoos, body-piercings, and strange hairstyles. Presumably they wish to appear down with the homies and generally like hip innit? These fashion statements alter the appearance but do not (with the possible exception of very extensive tattoos) alter the basic body colour.

MaxxKo! (a subsidiary of MaxCo., branded to appeal to the younger generation) has decided to break into the market with its range of injectable whole-body dyes. You may already be familiar with so-called contrast agents which are injected into the bloodstream to show up on X-rays or MRI scans; these contrast agents are harmless but also generally colourless. MaxxKo!'s Bloodye™ is the opposite.

Each MaxxKo! Bloodye™ comes pre-loaded into a 20ml syringe* with a single-use needle. Simply find a vein, insert the needle and inject the entire contents. Please do this slowly, to avoid having a bolus of oxygen-free dye hit the brain all at once.

In less time than it takes to say "Ooh I feel dizzy; I wish I'd read the instructions more carefully", your entire body will take on a fetching green, orange or blue tinge (red is difficult, for obvious reasons). Major blood vessels will appear as a coloured tracery wherever they lie close to the skin. The effect will fade over the next 2-5 hours, as the potentially harmless pigment wends its way to your kidneys. As a bonus and novelty you will be able to pee the chosen colour for some time.

We are especially excited by our newest addition to the range - fluorescent pigments. Although the skin is generally not very permeable to the UV lights you might encounter in a discothéque (you crazy hipster dudes, you), the tracery of electric-green glowing capillaries on the surface of the eyeballs and, ah, mucous membranes is particularly striking.

*Epi-pen sold seperately.

MaxwellBuchanan, Dec 02 2018

Dying your hair on your period could kill you! https://www.reddit....iod_could_kill_you/
…or just change the color of your blood. Permanently. (Mentioned in my anno) [notexactly, Dec 03 2018]


       O-kay ... so, was Sturton's remarkable appearance - including the glowing red eyes - at you family's Samhain bonfire festival just his "normal" colouration (as he claimed), or have you been perpetrating unethical medical experiments on your family again (as usual) ?   

       We don't object to the unethical experiments, you understand - in fact they're rather amusing - but we prefer to know such things in case bets are being placed and cash money might change hands.
8th of 7, Dec 02 2018

       He always goes that colour after the third bottle. By the way, he says he can get you a plus-one to the 2019 Lughnasadh if you promise to bring some of that ointment.
MaxwellBuchanan, Dec 02 2018

       Tell him it's a deal ... but what could he possibly want it for ? It's only intended to treat Carapace Rash in Hortas that have been eating too much sulphide ore - it's only licensed for silicon-based life forms.   

       Three bottles of the Albanian sherry substitute ? No wonder he's taken to pushing his artificial liver around with him on a trolley. Given the way that stuff corrodes 316 stainless steel, he must be going through a couple of them a week.
8th of 7, Dec 02 2018

       I believe he enjoys it on toast.   

       (What he does with the ointment, though, I have no idea.)
MaxwellBuchanan, Dec 02 2018

       I had this idea on my list but with a note saying I'd need to come up with some chemistry before posting it. You seem to have found a way to post it without doing that, which saves me some thinking and writing. Now I can check it off my list: 55/370   

       Also, I'll share what inspired this idea for me: [link]
notexactly, Dec 03 2018


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