Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Brachiation for Octopuses

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I was thinking of a stealth satellite, hidden behind tin foil reflectors thusly \ \ / / but it's kind of boring, and probably been done.

Anyway, us humans have only one to species to swap ideas with (i.e other humans), so having another species to chat with would be handy.

Ergo, training octopuses* to brachiate, in the long run it'll give them a different perspective (more human-like) and they already have opposable tentacles.

The actual training is going to a devil, as they are sneaky and have suckers. I was thinking ptfe, but a material with loads of little holes in it might be more efficacious?

Anyway, one octopus, a tank with a barrier, a very soft floor, two rods - one of the octopus's side and one on the other side with a bit of fish on it.


not_morrison_rm, Apr 09 2018

AT-AT http://www.starwars...tabank/at-at-walker
Have a whale of a time … [8th of 7, Apr 09 2018]

Smart non-humans http://www.onegreen...hales-and-dolphins/
So far we have failed to demonstrate enough smarts to easily communicate with them, after which, maybe they would not be interested in the ideas our lowly intelligence have created. [Vernon, Apr 09 2018]

Paul the Octopus https://en.wikipedi...ki/Paul_the_Octopus
Gone, but not forgotten ... [8th of 7, Apr 10 2018]

Save the Endangered Pacific Northwest Tree Octopus https://zapatopi.net/treeoctopus/
"Anti-octopus sentiment was so strong among loggers that some even began to fear that the octopuses were prone to attacking humans. These fears were fueled in no small part by gratuitous stories involving tree octopuses harassing lumberjacks and distressing damsels in Northwestern-themed pulp magazines of the 1930-40s and variously "nipping", "entangling", or "suckering the flesh" of the heroes of men's action magazines of the 1950-60s." [eritain, Apr 12 2018]

"We need something with tentacles" https://www.livesci...t-are-monsters.html
Veterinary pathology fellow at Smithsonian calls for more Hentai tentacle porn? [Skewed, Apr 13 2018]

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       An environment suit for a mollusc is an interesting technical challenge.   

       We suggest that a mobile water tank for a cetacean, commanded either by sounds, flipper and tail movements, or neural sensing, may be an easier first step. A tracked chassis, or an octopodic" walker" would be a good basis.   

       For whales, we suggest something akin to the AT-AT Imperial Walkers from TESB.   

8th of 7, Apr 09 2018

       Can't octopuses brachiate, now ? I imagine at some point an octopus will wrap its tentacle around a tree branch or something and pull, so that's the basics.   

       //soft floor// maybe one of those vertical wind tunnels.
FlyingToaster, Apr 09 2018

       [+] for the principle, but which component was going to be made of PTFE? Training shoes?
pertinax, Apr 09 2018

       If you want another species to chat with & your heart's set on Cephalopoda might I suggest cuttlefish instead?   

       They seem to get much better definition with their color patterns which is going to make communication so much easier when they spell out "Will you just go away & let me watch the footie in peace, if you really must we can talk about your existential angst after the match is over OK but right now I'm just not interested"..   

       .. down the side of their body in scrolling type.
Skewed, Apr 09 2018

       // scrolling type //   

       "If you can read this, my friend the Architeuthis is about to eat your head, land-dweller".
8th of 7, Apr 09 2018

       //If you want another species to chat with & your heart's set on Cephalopoda might I suggest cuttlefish instead?// Humans are already able to communicate cuttlefish quite precisely, and vice versa. But we have failed to accept the fact that, when a cuttlefish displays alternating brown, white and green stripes, it is actually trying to say "alternating brown, white and green stripes".
MaxwellBuchanan, Apr 10 2018

       Not the cephalopod equivalent of "Barns - ley ! Barns - ley !" then ?
8th of 7, Apr 10 2018

       Cephalopods are actually rather sniffy about football, and seldom express an interest.
MaxwellBuchanan, Apr 10 2018

       What about Paul ?   

       He seemed quite keen ...   

8th of 7, Apr 10 2018

       Brachiating Octposuses... swinging cephalopods...   

       I've heard enough about Hentai tentacle porn to see where this is heading...   

       Can't help thinking that if one of ancient Greeks, like Aristotle, had taught octopuses brachiation them old Tarzan of the Apes books would have radically different.
not_morrison_rm, Apr 11 2018

       //I've heard enough about Hentai tentacle porn// followed by [morrison_not] with //if one of ancient Greeks, like Aristotle, had taught octopuses brachiation them old Tarzan of the Apes books would have radically different//   

       I see what you did there, "Aristotle noted that the octopus had a hectocotyl arm and suggested it might be used in sexual reproduction"   

       Very subtle of you there, much unlike me :)
Skewed, Apr 11 2018

       (holds up hand) I had no idea that Aristotle had ever written anything about octopuses. He was just the first ancient Greek who came to mind when I was writing the idea.   

       You credit me with more intelligence than I have.
not_morrison_rm, Apr 12 2018

       Well, that's very easy to do, since the start point is so low.   

       //I've heard enough about Hentai tentacle porn//   

       Just hearing it mentioned is more than enough. It is bad enough that the concept even exists.
8th of 7, Apr 12 2018

       I agree. It's for suckers.   

       //I've heard enough about Hentai tentacle porn// //bad enough that the concept even exists//   

       Apparently not everyone agrees [link]. I may have the wrong end of the stick though?
Skewed, Apr 13 2018


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