Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Diaper Chimp

Train primates to do the dirty work.
  [vote for,

Tired of changing diapers at all hours of the day or night? Well this is just like those monkeys who help people with disabilities. The chimp or monkey fills in for parents when needed. Could also be trained for nighttime feedings. Also provides babies with cross species interaction and can provide companionship for years to come.
jrzx15, Sep 09 2003


       If changing diapers wasn't an overarchingly important parent-baby bonding interaction, we wouldn't do it. Would we?
DrCurry, Sep 09 2003

       I don't think the gorilla who fathered my children ever changed a nappy in his life.
po, Sep 09 2003

       Diapers - they are spendy. Lots of places in the world people don't own a pot to piss in, much less a pile of pads to poop in. Not to mention thousands of years of stone age ancestors. So my question - when there are no diapers, do babies just let fly? And what is so wrong with that?
bungston, Sep 09 2003

       Infection, for one.

But regardless I'm compelled to + anything involving monkeys or chimps
DeathNinja, Sep 09 2003

       not for this stuff, shirley.
po, Sep 09 2003

       bungston: courtesy the National Geographic, yeah, basically. (Toddlers under the age of potty training - or whatever passes for potties in the relevant culture - go naked from the waist down.)
DrCurry, Sep 09 2003

       Mommy, Bobby keeps picking the bugs out of Susie's hair and eating them!
RayfordSteele, Sep 09 2003

       While naked from the waist down works great in the Tropics those of the higher latitudes needed to find a better solution. The Inuit use a moss/seal skin combo, Native Americans used a variety of plants, milk weed, reeds, in addition to animal skins. In Europe the swaddling cloth was used. All of these materials were changed a lot less than the 10 to 12 times a day the average newborn lets fly. Ahhh diaper rash.
jrzx15, Sep 09 2003

       An infinite number of monkeys changing an infinite number of dirty diapers will eventually figure out the proper way to use a safety pin.   

       It's all velcro nowdays.
jrzx15, Sep 12 2003

       If the child enjoys mashed bananas...and there is a chimp available 24-7... would diapers even be necessary at all??? <EWWWW!>
Dustoff, Sep 12 2003

       Chimps should be pampered (pun intended) not pimped out. They (and some monkeys)are endangered for crying out loud. Plus, adult chimps have the strength of the Hulk. Talk about shaken baby syndrome! A low-wage au pair type would be as economical and could teach the tot a language understood by more than two humans -- Mowgli and Tarzan.
esteregg, Sep 12 2003


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