Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Bring Me The Head of Alfredo Garcia - Doorstop

keep doors open with a lumpen severed head
  (+3, -1)
(+3, -1)
  [vote for,

"Bring Me The Head of Alfredo Garcia - Doorstop" does exactly what it says in the title - ie it's a head shaped object, wrapped in horribly stained bandages, that you place against any door you want to keep open. (If you don't know the film you won't really get the idea)

It's not a real head of course, but then you never can tell. It's best to leave it alone, propping the door open, or push it around with the special telescopic brush shaft that comes with it.

Inevitable delux version comes with a swarm of specially trained flies that orbit in close vicinity.

xenzag, Mar 07 2018

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0071249/ [xenzag, Mar 07 2018]

Paul Brickhill https://en.wikipedi...wiki/Paul_Brickhill
Awesome [8th of 7, Mar 08 2018]

Bread_20Head [xenzag, Mar 09 2018]

Wikipedia Page about Alfredo Garcia https://en.wikipedi...d_of_Alfredo_Garcia
[AusCan531, Mar 09 2018]


       Doorstop is such a strange surname. Tommorow I have a phone interview with a Mr. Cakebread. Liable to be hungry after.
RayfordSteele, Mar 07 2018

       // Brickhill is my favourite surname. //   

       You have immaculate taste, which comes as something of a shock. <link>   

       // Jeffrey Dahmer //   

       Ah, dear Jeffrey - we do miss him. It's nice to have an internationally recognized standard of sick, evil weirdness that everyone can relate to.   

       But he's gone, now, like Marilyn Manson ... incest, cannibalism, dismemberment, all the old skills are dying out, it's so sad. Modern mass-murderers are so derivative and unimaginative, just plodding imitators. Where are the Ed Geins, the John Wayne Gaceys ? A new generation lacks role models to inspire them ...   

       [+] for the idea. Can it ooze some sort of re-useable non-staining ichor ? Something washable and silicone-based, harmless to pets (but not children or cats).
8th of 7, Mar 08 2018

       Refillable ooze is certainly possible - along with a variety of suitable odours of course. (these could be pleasant by way of contradiction)
xenzag, Mar 08 2018

       "Something in here smells a bit strong …"   

       "Ah yes, it's the Hoot of Alfredo Garcia … "
8th of 7, Mar 08 2018

       I wonder if Monsanto has a Head of Lettuce.
MaxwellBuchanan, Mar 08 2018

       If they do then that's probably what poisoned the Russian and his daughter.
xenzag, Mar 08 2018

       Given the excellence of their biotech, they have no need of such crudity.
8th of 7, Mar 08 2018

       True.... Why worry about just two when you can openly poison many millions.
xenzag, Mar 08 2018

       Watch out for birdstrike while you're on that soapbox, [xen].
MaxwellBuchanan, Mar 08 2018

       Ha Monsanto - so good they renamed it Frankensanto.
xenzag, Mar 08 2018

       [8th of 7]- agreed, the old skills are dying out. Today's generation simply has no truly creative source of inspiration like the dynamic duo of Leopold and Loeb.
Whistlebritches, Mar 08 2018

       Now we have giant corporations slowly killing millions with their toxic muck where once there were just some mavericks hiding away in cellars.
xenzag, Mar 08 2018

       Ahhh, progress.   

       Besides, you only want to poison them a bit, not kill them. Dead people don't buy your products …
8th of 7, Mar 08 2018

       How about a bakery that makes sculpted loaves? "Bring me the bread of Alfredo Garcia."
MaxwellBuchanan, Mar 08 2018

       If Senr. G. was a sheep farmer, it would be possible to demand "Bring me the herd of Alfredo Garcia !" …
8th of 7, Mar 08 2018

       or a mass murderer... polygamist.... tapestrier... gigolo...
FlyingToaster, Mar 08 2018

       //How about a bakery that makes sculpted loaves?// These are already available, courtesy of yours truly. See last link.
xenzag, Mar 09 2018

       I've added a Link to the Wikipedia entry about the movie "Bring Me the Head of Alfredo Garcia" partially to provide context - but mostly to invalidate [xenzag's] prior annotation pointing the the 'last link'.
AusCan531, Mar 09 2018

       In what way does the wiki entry on the matter of Alfredo Garcia invalidate the fact that I posted the idea of "Bread Head" on the HB on? Explain please. My link posting is in response to Max's suggestion that there should be such an item - well there is, and I thought it up on Jul 10 2017 and posted it right here.
xenzag, Mar 09 2018

       But it's no longer the "last link".
MaxwellBuchanan, Mar 09 2018

       Hee hee. (thanks [MB])
AusCan531, Mar 09 2018

       You still haven't explained. Have another try.
xenzag, Mar 09 2018

       To be precise, [xen] mon amie, the Wikipedia link invalidates your statement "See last link". En Anglais, "last" means either "most recent" or "final", and your link is now neither of those things.
MaxwellBuchanan, Mar 09 2018

       It could be 'his' final link. But I doubt it. Hope springs eternal...
RayfordSteele, Mar 09 2018

       Yes, Max, but it doesn't invalidate the link, and that's what was stated. Bring Me The Head of Auscan! Ha
xenzag, Mar 09 2018

       The link wasn’t being invalidated, just the part of the annotation pointing to ‘the last link’. And if you want my head [xenzag] you should know it’s actually pretty valuable as it contains brains that I’ve hardly ever used.   

       In any event, I’ve had way more fun with my little ‘Link’ joke than it probably deserves, so now let’s talk about Zelda....
AusCan531, Mar 09 2018

       //see last link.// is what was stated. At least that's what's shown in my universe...
RayfordSteele, Mar 10 2018


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