Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Burrito Launcher

Various meats encased in a tortilla sabot for improved range
  [vote for,

I've always felt a great pang of sympathy for mail carriers who have to get past over-territorial dogs to deliver their mail.

They need a means of distracting and diverting said dogs. To this end, I have created the burrito launcher, which looks somewhat like a grenade launcher. The round is ground beef, shredded pork, and chicken skin wrapped in a tortilla sabot to keep it together during flight. Simply aim it across the yard, street, etc... fire and the dog chases it, leaving the mail carrier alone.

21 Quest, Aug 28 2007

(?) Could look like this possibly http://www.rirwin.c...ges/picTomOther.JPG
could also be belt driven for dealing with large packs + [xenzag, Aug 29 2007]

Remote deliveries http://www.halfbake...a/Orbital_20toaster
[normzone, Aug 29 2007]

Like this? https://www.youtube...watch?v=dZJyoRJlG-4
Hot dog / burrito launcher [popbottle, Jul 15 2015]


       Or load it with pepper and shoot it right at the dog's eyes. Cheaper, and the actual practice of many such couriers. I imagine a mangy cur never bothers you again after that. Cruel? No. NFL Quarterbacks with no passing skills are cruel. Pepper spray is harmless.

       The meat, however, would have the little biters following them all the way home. [-] from me.

       Neither snow nor rain, nor doggie bite, shall stay these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed rounds.
globaltourniquet, Aug 28 2007

       >The meat, however, would have the little biters following them all the way home

       Then perhaps we can have something along the lines of the multiple rocket launcher. The mailman calls for backup and within minutes the area is covered in meat. Dogs distracted, mail delivered, mission accomplished!
xipetotec, Aug 28 2007

       Can't we just have ninja mailmen and be done with it?
shapu, Aug 28 2007

       You had me at //tortilla sabot//. [+]
ed, Aug 28 2007

       You had me at //ninja mailmen//
Custardguts, Aug 29 2007

       that's very nice of you to think of the doggies, but giving them treats for aggressive behavior is hardly the cause and effect that will prevent future attacks. i'm with [global] on this . (-)
k_sra, Aug 29 2007

       Obligatory reference to Mythbusters TV show: Episode #74 - the Build Team successfully distracted a guard dog using a rag soaked with urine from a bitch in heat after unsuccessfully trying a big, juicy steak. Who'da thunkit, sex sells in the canine world as well!

       So your letter carrier will need a large canister of "eau-de-chienne" for maximum distraction. I'm not sure what to suggest if the dog is female, however. (A PetSmart credit card application?)
Canuck, Aug 29 2007

       /The round is ground beef, shredded pork, and chicken skin wrapped in a tortilla sabot to keep it together during flight/

       Hey that sounds pretty tasty. Once this is baked, I'm going to make a point of threatening the postman every morning.
Texticle, Aug 29 2007

       you had me at "PetSmart credit card application." : )
k_sra, Aug 29 2007

       I was just surprised it took 2 annos for someone to smack me over it.
Canuck, Aug 29 2007

       I live in Salt Lake City, where a burrito gun would be a logical acquisition for one of the local burrito joints. The reason is that the city is surrounded by mountains, and hikers get hungry. For example, the summit of one of our local peaks, Mount Olympus, is just 2.4 miles (and more than 4000 vertical feet) from a Barbacoa -- a local burrito chain. From several peaks you can literally look down at the shopping center where the Barbacoa is.

       My idea here is that from the top of Olympus, or anywhere else nearby, I should be able to call in a burrito strike. I do this by phoning Barbacoa and having my cell phone hand them my GPS coordinates. They then package up a burrito, work out the trajectory, and launch it up to me. Some sort of packaging that is more robust than the usual tin foil would be needed, as well as perhaps a parachute to avoid hikers being killed by their lunches.
regehr, Aug 29 2007

       [regehr], is that a Tilly hat you're wearing? For remote deliveries, see link.
normzone, Aug 29 2007

       Love the orbital bagel toaster!

       Not a Tilly hat. I am indeed a gear slut but $60 for a hat is just not right.
regehr, Aug 30 2007

       Hell, some cost upward of 75. They are nice, though.
21 Quest, Aug 30 2007

       I thought this had something to do with Ron Burgundy's dog Baxter being launched off a bridge due to a burrito-motorcycle accident. Bun anyway.
theleopard, Aug 30 2007

       "On Top Of Olyyyympus

       I needed some CHEEEESE

       I called in a Snack Strike.

       To feed my buddeeees.

       I picked up my cell phone.

       And made a quick call.

       Then out of the blue sky.

       Came raining nachos!"
Galbinus_Caeli, Aug 30 2007

       //I am indeed a gear slut but $60 for a hat is just not right.//

       own one. then you'll know.
k_sra, Aug 30 2007

       That's not a sabot.
Voice, Jul 15 2015


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