Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Buy out the Gazans

  (+6, -9)
(+6, -9)
  [vote for,

Lots of problems lately have been solved by throwing ginormous mounds of money onto them. I propose that a similar approach might be used to settle the problem of Gaza. Not that many people live in Gaza - wikipedia says 1.5 million. I propose that each and every person in Gaza be given $5000 and an offer to resettle somewhere far from Gaza. This would cost 7.5 billion if each one took the offer and would render families pretty flush with cash. That is much cheaper than bailing out AIG and probably equals the status quo cost of a few military expeditions and continuing UN subsidies.

Emigration locations could be anywhere. As is usually the case with mass immigrations, the locations would be those happy to accept folks flush with cash and the new immigrants would form enclaves. I could imagine HIV-depleted areas of Botswana, population-poor regions of former soviet republics, or Japan, or Detroit as possible sites for these immigrants.

Now would be an especially good time for such an endeavor, since the Gazans are powerfully motivated to leave.

Removing Gazans from Gaza by offering them a better alternative would be humane and effective, and end the conflict by emptying the region. One might then refill it with refugees from other regions who are currently stuck in camps, since there is nothing wrong with Gaza as a piece of property except it has been kicked around a bit. I am sure these refugees would be happy to do the jobs in Israel that Gazans used to do.

Everyone wins.

bungston, Jan 09 2009

The buyout begins. http://edition.cnn....02/mideast.clinton/
Glad I could help. [bungston, Mar 02 2009]

A long cherished door key. http://msnbcmedia.m...01.photoblog900.jpg
If you think that Palestinians will be happy to give up their homes in return for re-settlement & a measly $5,000, you are very mistaken. [DrBob, Jul 22 2014]


       $5000 per person is not what I'd call flush with cash. I think something like $500,000 per person would be a fairer figure.
xaviergisz, Jan 09 2009

       //Lots of problems lately have been solved by throwing ginormous mounds of money onto them// - "solved" may be a little optimistic.
hippo, Jan 09 2009

       Mass resettlement is what caused the problems, I'm not optimistic about solving them in the same way.
wagster, Jan 09 2009

       We could always outlaw religion throughout the planet. I'm sure that would work.
wagster, Jan 12 2009

       Thanks for the laugh, bungie. +
blissmiss, Jan 12 2009

       I like your choices of location, Botswana, empty areas of Russia, Japan (all full) or Detroit.   

       Even if I ideologically supported this, many Gazans won't take it, if they wanted to leave they probably would have some time in the last 40 years.
Germanicus, Jan 12 2009

       Maybe the Gazans could swap en masse with the Central Americans who are sending their kids to the US to escape gangs. Fresh starts - everyone wins!   

       1. Calloused and durable Gazans are used to the Israelis. They will make short shrift out of a bunch of third rate gangsters in Honduras.   

       2. Central American emigrants will be less inclined to make war and more inclined to accept benign despotic rule by Israelis.
bungston, Jul 22 2014

       I'm not sure better gangsters will help...
Voice, Jul 22 2014

       Sadly, all Christians and Jews already opted for that solution, the Christians with no compensation and the Jews forced to comply.   

       I think a better solution would be to put Retalin in the drinking water, and make everybody in our region start thinking focused, wanting to live, and advancing community life, multi-culture and cooperation, inviting back all the expelled and refuge peoples. There was more than enough money poured into the region for that to be accomplished.   

       Oh, and while watching the Gaza conflict, 600(!!) Syrian people were killed this week by ISIS.
pashute, Jul 22 2014

       I was really hoping for the Apartheid argument to pick up steam, not because I think it's much like Apartheid, but could have potentially changed the global discourse from the zealotry of religious sectarianism to the much more easily managed comparable paradise of interracial conflict. Of course Apartheid is part of and partly the legacy of another religious sect completely unrelated to any involved in the Israeli conflict; except USA and Great Britain. So it's possible an Apartheid argument might be bridged through those connections. However, because Apartheid was really about a segregated social vision rather than the establishment of a jewish holy land they can be differentiated by their 'ideological' ends despite unfortunately similar 'segregationist' means. Nevertheless, when this topic was broached by Kerry in his recent PR nightmare, compelled me for a moment to think he saw a possibility to recontextualize into discoursive trajectory that would be a) relevant to him as an Irish american, b) broaden the scope of the problem instead of narrowing it on Israel c) possibly create peace and stability through racial integration faster than the current discourse which only multiplies difference.
rcarty, Jul 22 2014

       [bungston], I take back all those things I said about you behind your back (apart from the one about the sheep). This is a brilliant idea. [+]   

       Financially, even $100bn to solve this festering wound would be cheap.   

       I like it because it plays to people's selfish side, which means it would probably work. And, unlike a forced resettlement, the emigrees would have no moral high- ground from which to fight back. It would at least solve the problem for a generation, until their grandchildren (who never saw the money) rebel against their grandparents' sell-out. Therefore, it might be necessary to make payments at two-generation intervals to keep people away. Still cheap at twice the price.   

       There would, no doubt, be a minority who would hold out against the offer. The trick, therefore, would be to make the offer contingent on 99.9% of all people accepting it. That would put enormous pressure on the few hold-outs.
MaxwellBuchanan, Jul 22 2014

       It's beyond discussion. Perhaps if we forcibly relocate everyone in Israel to Brazil and everyone in the immediately surrounding area to, say, France and then allow only atheists to settle the area it will stop the war.
Voice, Jul 22 2014

       Sort of went through there on the bus in 1992, mighty pretty piece of Mediterranean beachside....sure at some point it'll all be holiday time-shares at some point..   

       Particularly liked the use of cactus instead of wire fences, very green solution.
not_morrison_rm, Jul 22 2014


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