Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Child Silencer

Mute crying kids!
  (+2, -6)
(+2, -6)
  [vote for,

We have all been annoyed by a crying baby or a bratty toddler simply because someone decided to bring their kid into an environment that is either boring or unplesant to them. Even when you are standing on line at the motor vehicle bureau, you really dont want to stand there hearing "WAAAAHHHH I WANT CANDY! WAAAAAAH!" for the next 45 minutes only to be hit with an occasional nerve wrenching shrieking scream.

The solution- The Child Silencer. Thats right- You no longer have to medicate your kid or add liquor to the milk bottle to calm the kid down. Now you can let him scream and cry all he wants to and you won't hear anything louder than a dull roar. Its a simple device that resembles a dust mask, however it contains several layers of sound deading insulation. It does not restrict breathing in any manner however it keeps all of the noise to a minimum.

This device can aslo help prevent shaken baby syndrome because the constant crying will not upset the mother or immedate caretaker.

Jscotty, Sep 08 2005

Baby volume control Baby_20volume_20control
Non-lethal alternative. [wagster, Sep 08 2005]


       I prefer the pillow method. Apply and press. Yes...a wee bit harder...ah! Silence, lovely silence.
ldischler, Sep 08 2005

       How about the usual halfbakery standby of active noice cancellation?
david_scothern, Sep 08 2005

       Not a very creative solution.
bungston, Sep 08 2005

       I think that was my first posting here [d_s]. I'll link it.
wagster, Sep 08 2005

       Yup, it was my first posting and was immediately picked up by someone called [jutta]. I didn't have a clue who this [jutta] person was...
wagster, Sep 08 2005


       Call me twisted but I was expecting something to do with a gun here.
That's quite weird [wags]. That idea was created last July but your profile has a creation date of August of that year.
hidden truths, Sep 08 2005

       [twisted] something to do with the infamous hb crash I imagine. or deja vu ?
po, Sep 08 2005

       No, it's just that when [pluterday] introduces me to the hb many years ahead I wasn't quite sure which temporal direction to use it. Luckily [po] explains it all to me so I was able to have adjusted pretty quickly.
wagster, Sep 08 2005

       am I here already?
po, Sep 08 2005

       Will have happened onwhen votingwise, a bone. Child, wear this mask! Stop taking it off! Nope, doesn't work.
moomintroll, Sep 08 2005

       //Will have happened onwhen votingwise, a bone.// Beware, Engrish is contained generously.
fridge duck, Sep 08 2005

       superglue the mask on, mwahahahaa
Yosarian, Dec 06 2005

       //medicate your kid or add liquor to the milk bottle//   

       Dude, please tell me you don't do either of these on a regular basis. Liquor doesn't do much, screws them up for the rest of their life and gives baby a wicked hangover that most parents don't notice (lots of babies puke, look terrible and eat bland food without the help of liquor beforehand).
Shadow Phoenix, Aug 31 2007

       This makes this the second time I have quoted this, one of my favs:
Captain Harry Graham (1874–1936)
Father heard his children scream,
So he threw them in the stream,
Saying, as he drowned the third,
"Children should be seen, not heard."
xenzag, Aug 31 2007

       This idea is certainly about as intelligent as Harry Graham's poetry.
nomocrow, Aug 31 2007


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