Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
h a l f b a k e r y
The mutter of invention.

idea: add, search, annotate, link, view, overview, recent, by name, random

meta: news, help, about, links, report a problem

account: browse anonymously, or get an account and write.

user:
pass:
register,


                   

Call Termination Bot

As soon as you're done with the online assistant, just hit "Terminate call" and the Termination Bot will take it from there.
  (+4)
(+4)
  [vote for,
against]

Without Call Terminator: <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

"Okay, does that answer your question?"

"Yes, thank you."

"Is there anything else I can help you with today?"

"No, I'm good, appreciate your help."

"Okay, make sure to check back if you have any other questions."

"I will, thank you."

"Keep in mind, we're here 24 7 for your convenience."

"I appreciate that, okay take care."

"You too, would you be able to stay on the line for a short survey?"

"My house is on fire, I need to hang up."

Aaaand... scene.

With Call Terminator (tm) R copyright, all rights reserved. <<<<<<<<<<<

"Great, thank you." (pushed terminator bot button which responds to all the standard "Oh my god, please let me hang up!" operator blathering.

Click.

That's it. You're done, meanwhile the Call Terminator is saying stuff (in your voice) like "Hey, I just really want to say how much I greatly appreciate your help, you really did a great job with this, thank you so much again."

"Oh, you're welcome, would you be willing to stay on the line for a brief survey?"

"Hmm, brief, do you have a more extensive survey I can take to relay how thankful I am for your assistance, not sure I can convey my true feelings with a brief survey but if that's all you have of course, please put me through. Again, you really REALLY helped me out a lot and I can't thank you enough."

Etc.

So basically it lets you hang up on people without being rude.

doctorremulac3, Aug 16 2024

Me and xenzag. https://www.youtube...watch?v=6KHoVBK2EVE
For a moment anyway. [doctorremulac3, Aug 17 2024]

[link]






       Manual version:   

       "Okay, does that answer your question?"   

       "Yes thank you bye" click
pocmloc, Aug 17 2024
  

       When anyone annoys me to a sufficient degree either on line or not, I say to them: "You better go now, as I can hear Gwen calling you"
xenzag, Aug 17 2024
  

       I also do the exact opposite with scam callers where I try to keep them on the line for as long as possible while I look for my credit card.
doctorremulac3, Aug 17 2024
  

       You should look up the "Wangiri Scam" before staying on line for any length of time to unknown numbers.
xenzag, Aug 17 2024
  

       Hmm, good to know.   

       I don't call back, I just talk like a really dumb old person (something that's getting increasingly easier for me to pull off) and trigger their predatory instincts by saying stuff like "Thank you for being so patient while I find my credit card, my wife used to handle the finances while she was alive..." etc etc.   

       When it looks like the ruse is figured out I end the discussion with careful analysis and evaluation of their mother's street corner sex work or their affinity for certain sexual practices with various porcine animals.   

       You may be shocked to know I have quite the temper sometimes. It's the Ukrainian / German / Scottish blend that's not exactly the smile and move on type. More like the "Say when." approach to conflict. Growing up in the murder capital of the world didn't help but I yam what I yam.
doctorremulac3, Aug 17 2024
  

       I usually ask anyone who calls me that they need to answer some simple security questions before we go any further ie the name of their mother's favourite paramilitary gang leader. The calls generally end there.
xenzag, Aug 17 2024
  

       Could also do a fake robot thing.   

       "Thank you for... calling. Please state your name and department you wish to... speak with."   

       Then no matter what they say   

       "Thank you. You wished to speak to the... colorectal inflammation hotline. Please describe any anal fissure issues you're having using our product. For anal itching, press one. For unwanted anal stretching press two. For inability to extract product from your anus press three. If you're happy just stuffing stuff up your ass you may hang up now. Thank you for calling Assblaster 9000 customer service line."
doctorremulac3, Aug 17 2024
  

       By the way xenzag, our brief friendly interaction here (including you tolerating my 3rd grade sense of humor) reminds me of the link.   

       I'm sure the battle will resume eventually like in that scene, but still. I appreciate these kinds of moments in life.
doctorremulac3, Aug 17 2024
  
      
[annotate]
  


 

back: main index

business  computer  culture  fashion  food  halfbakery  home  other  product  public  science  sport  vehicle