Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Cardboard Cut-out Parents

fool baby and sneak off for a quick nap
  [vote for,

To be used by exhausted new parents. The cardboard cut outs would be life size full colour photos of the parents smiling and making faces, attached to thick heavy duty cardboard backing with included stand. The photo would ideally be taken while the parent is still relatively awake.

At the back of the cutout, a small sound recording device can be loaded with the parents voices making reassuring, loving noises such as "good boy!, whos an ickle-wickle, likkle baby then?, what a good baby, you drank all your milk...." and so forth.

In the case of a baby that hardly sleeps, the Cardboard Cut-out Parents could be a real sanity saver.

Instructions for use: - Place your bundle of joy in a safe comfortable position, -- Stand pretend parent in front of baby. - Switch on recorder speaker and sneak off for a quick nap, while your child thinks it has 'your' undivided attention.

The cutouts can be upgraded by having removable heads, so newer faces with different expressions can be attached to the bodies.(just not in front of baby!)

More advanced models can have battery operated moveable parts so that the lips move, arms go up and down etc...

peppina, May 31 2003

My Dad. http://www.brandson...m/chewwarstan6.html
[Amos Kito, Oct 04 2004]


       This might make apron strings *really* hard to cut.
thumbwax, May 31 2003

       yes, but by then the parents would be better prepared for the hardships later, especially after a good sleep.
peppina, May 31 2003

       Imagine the terror as the removable head falls off and the batteries on the playback device run down.   

       'Whhhhoooooooosssssseee errrrrrrr cllllleeeeevvvvvvvvuuuuuuurrrr bbbbbboooooooyyyyyy?'
sambwiches, May 31 2003

       When I was in first grade, our teacher had us make full-sized cutouts of ourselves which we then colored. Once that assignment was done, I brought the life-size facsimile-me home.   

       It was only a matter of time before my new baby sister's demands for attention led me to attempt exactly what [peppina] is proposing here. One morning I hung the paper me up next to her crib and crept downstairs for some breakfast. I was very pleased at how quiet my sister remained. A while later, when I stole a glance into the nursery, I discovered the reason my ruse was so successful: my little sister had torn down the paper me, and had quietly set about rendering her very first collage from its fragments (she's very accomplished at this art form today).   

       I give this idea a croissant because my experience in no way disproves it's feasibility.
dijontoothpaste, May 31 2003

       Or you could just hang a flat screen over the crib, with the faces of mommy and daddy peering in from time to time. Making noises like sshhhhhhhh.
pluterday, May 31 2003

       I remeber a time in England when they had cardboard cut-out cop cars on bridges over motorways. Worked, too.
git, May 31 2003

       now they just have ten year old little girls lobbing great huge boulders over the edge.
po, May 31 2003

       I'd rather give the parents a cardboard cut-out baby.   

       Or at least a copy of the Sims.
rapid transit, May 31 2003

       This is a great idea! Supermarkets have found that installing life-size cardboard "policemen" in the aisles reduces the shoplifting rate by 30%. If adults can't tell the difference, surely babies can't :)
phundug, May 31 2003

       If it will get a few minutes of rest for new parents, it gets a croissant from me.
ato_de, Jun 01 2003

       That's so sad Amos.   

       As for the battery rundown, that is just about the funniest thing I've seen all day. Chewie was funny too.
Madcat, Sep 16 2003


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