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Change The "Big Bang" Theory To The "Little Bang" Theory

Might seem big to us, but it's a fart in a whirlwind in the grand scheme of things.
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(+1, -3)
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You know, there's a lot of room to play with this thing. The Big Bang "Theory", the "Big" Bang Theory. "The" Big Bang Theory. The Big "Bang" Theory. The possibilities are un-endless.

Let's see if I can keep my bone storm rolling.

doctorremulac3, Nov 13 2023

The GUI interface https://x.com/histo...25320553353404?s=20
What xenzag used to say how stupid Americans are. We invented that too. [doctorremulac3, Nov 14 2023]

Maybe not the place for it... https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=EcApk2Yu4xU
... bit at least it's entertaining [a1, Nov 14 2023]


       Or how about "The Fart Of Life". "When The Universe Farted" might be a catchy book title.
doctorremulac3, Nov 13 2023

pocmloc, Nov 13 2023

       The "Big Bang Theory" books are now located in   

       "Children's Science Fiction" books
blissmiss, Nov 13 2023

       Those are great, here's an excerpt from my favorite:   

       The Little Bang   

       There once was a little bang. It contained all the elements of a universe, potential matter, energy, a time space alalgum but all the other bangs were much bigger and they'd make fun of him.   

       "Hey, get a load of the little bang, let's kick his ass!"   

       And they did.   

       The end(?)
doctorremulac3, Nov 13 2023

       //The "Big Bang Theory" books are now located in "Children's Science Fiction" booksI can well// I can well imagine All books in America (except for the bible) being piled up and burnt if a certain person who's name cannot be used on the Halfbakery is back in the Whitehouse. Since "his" reading skills only extend as far as scanning junk food menus, he won't notice any difference, but I feel sorry for American children who's education is already pitiful when compared to their equivalents in the rest of the developed world.   

       Well that's my Big Bang tossed into the mix.
Let's see what kind of dark matter it generates hahahahahahaha
xenzag, Nov 13 2023

       Everybody needs something, or in this case, someone, to give their life meaning I guess.   

       //I feel sorry for American children who's education is already pitiful when compared to their equivalents in the rest of the developed world.//   

       Yet as dumb as we are, we invented the airplane, space rocket, AC electricity, the system that became the internet, the atom bomb, the hydrogen bomb, the transister, the integrated circuit, air conditioning, the laser printer, (as well as the laser) GPS, LED lighting, nylon, fiber optics, the MRI machine, FM radio, polio vaccine, supersonic flight, first spacecrafts to land on the Moon, (bringing people with it) Mars, first to leave the Solar System, to the Sun and outer planets, and all while saving England's butt from Germany in WW2.   

       Ironic the thing you're using to call Americans stupid was invented by Americans eh? Pretty good for a bunch of dumb hillbillies. Yeeeehaaaa!
doctorremulac3, Nov 13 2023

       I won't even bother listing UK inventions - too many to mention but for a very few - Shakespeare (of course) and where would we be if Newton hadn't invented gravity, and where also would we be without metal ships (Kingdom Brunel); the jet engine, the electric motor, television, the telephone, radar and of course computers? We also invented English so that the colony dwellers could communicate in something more than grunts and snorts! haha
xenzag, Nov 13 2023

       We’ll be sure to tip our hats towards England from our Mars colonies. Us colonials are just starting.   

       The nice English folk will be welcome to come along of course.
doctorremulac3, Nov 13 2023

       I'm sure Romulus Augustulus was mighty proud of the aqueducts and roads too - right up to the end.
a1, Nov 13 2023

       By the way xen, might wanna let the world know which Englishman invented the telephone and sent the idea to Graham Bell over the telegraph (another American invention) because he's the one who got credit for it.   

       But England did come up with those 6 or so inventions you listed over its thousand years and the 24 I listed did take us about 200 years. So 400% more in 1/5th the time, but we'll call it a tie.   

       By the way, I love England, home of my ancestors and lots of my heros. I don't judge an entire people by the... issues... of one.
doctorremulac3, Nov 13 2023

       I don't use the history of an entire nation to excuse the issues of one current politician.
a1, Nov 13 2023

       You really do have an amazing ability to not understand anything you're reading.   

       And way to jump in when somebody's attacking your country, on the other side. Figures.
doctorremulac3, Nov 13 2023

       No, we just understand things differently.   

       You seem to have taken xenzag's dark matter remark as an attack on America in general. I read it as an attack specifically on Trump and the Trumpublican Party, an observation of the poor current state of the USA's education system, and a warning that it can get worse.   

       I'd have worded it differently, but I'm in complete agreement with xenzag on all of these points - at least as far as I understand them,
a1, Nov 13 2023

       The Trump cult rises again. What fun.
doctorremulac3, Nov 13 2023

       I sense a Big Bang coming at Mar-de-Loogie (what we commoners call the Sea of Phlegm), followed by a casting out into the Black Hole and relative quietude. Please, baby Jesus, make it so.
minoradjustments, Nov 14 2023

       I'm thinking bringing up the big bang might be a bad thing. Seems to have arizen the Trump zombies.   

       "Truuuuuump..... TRUUUUUUUMMMMP!"
doctorremulac3, Nov 14 2023

       I challenge you two to get in an argument about something nearly entirely non-political.
Voice, Nov 14 2023

       Trump transcends politics
pocmloc, Nov 14 2023

       // you two //   

       Which two? There' political content here from xen, doc, minor, as well as myself. And poc also, though he chimed in after, in response to yours.
a1, Nov 14 2023

       //I challenge you two to get in an argument about something nearly entirely non-political.//   

       Like the mysteries surrounding the big bang? Already tried that. You see where that went.
doctorremulac3, Nov 14 2023

       // Like the mysteries surrounding the big bang? //   

       Wait, I can make an entertaining big bang right here, direct from the help file:   

       // Likely reasons to call for deletion (include)
* naming - specific names to give to people, pets, restaurants, top level domains, etc. are out of scope for the halfbakery.
* philosophy - the post proposes a way of seeing the world. //

       Hilarious, right?
a1, Nov 14 2023

       Still don't get it but I don't expect you to.   

       It's not re-naming, renaming would be taking a rock and calling it a blogdobbler. This is re-categorizing a theory to open up different possible explanations with a corresponding description to clarify that.   

       And how anybody would think speculating and discussing the science behind the big bang and making proposals for clarification of possible different ideations is philosophy is beyond me. It was also supposed to be a light, fun approach to a heavy subject. (ahem)
doctorremulac3, Nov 14 2023

       How about the "philosophy ... not in scope for halfbakery"part? Now, I know you love to disagree with *me*, but you completely ignored [hippo] on the other, near identical conversation you started just before this one:   

... I'm not sure I see anything in this idea except renaming something, and some philosophical hand-waving
—hippo, Nov 13 2023
a1, Nov 14 2023

       If he's changed his mind after my explanation that would be fine.   

       In the meantime I see you're doing everything in your power to avoid weighing in on the subject of the big bang, even trying to get the discussion removed. Wonder why that is.
doctorremulac3, Nov 14 2023

       // something else to occupy your time? //   

       Not at this instant, but thank you for asking. How's everything going there?   

       (oh, I see you edited your remark after I replied)   

       I'm happy to discuss the everything from the origin of the universe to its end - if it has either or both - with anybody at all. But this is not the right forum for it. How about we do that on your Facebook page, or Reddit, or someplace more appropriate?
a1, Nov 14 2023

       Changed my response, since you're so clever let's hear your thoughts on the subject.   

       Was there only one big bang? Is the theory proven? Are there other theories? How big is the universe? Are there other big bangs? Maybe big bangs within big bangs? Maybe there are levels of scale that we're un-aware of. Could it be that our universe is only a small part of a subatomic particle in an infinately larger universe? Could it be that there are different subatomic levels beyond what we can perceive? And can you answer these speculations while being aware that I haven't necessarily posited that any of them are true? That sometimes pondering a theoretical is just speculating about how it might be disproven?   

       Dazzle us.
doctorremulac3, Nov 14 2023

       Mmm hmm.   

       Pretty clear why you want this taken down.
doctorremulac3, Nov 14 2023

       Well, since you asked so nicely - Nope.   

       Halfbakery isn't the place for it.
a1, Nov 14 2023

       But it is the place to rant endlessly about Donald Trump no matter what the post is. Okay.   

       Discussions about the universe however aren't allowed, even in a post ABOUT the universe. Must have missed that rule in the help file.
doctorremulac3, Nov 14 2023

       Eh, it wasn't me who kicked that pebble. You and xen have shared more on Trump than anyone else on the bakery. But I admit I did reply on it. And I regret it, should have saved for a different forum as well.
a1, Nov 14 2023

       Anything non-political. How about it, [xen]? The proper ripeness to eat a banana? Which cloud formation is best? The best planet for humans to settle first? Whether poetry is more meaningful than architecture? the merits of Toyota vs Ford cars? SystemD vs Windows?
Voice, Nov 15 2023

       [Voice], I guess entertainment is where you find it. I do think theirs has dulled a bit from repetition - but even meandering, endless Saturday Night Live skits that can't find their way usually started off with funny ideas.   

       Do you think everything in the existence was inevitably encoded from its start? Whether one or multiple bangs, or steady state, or inflation, or (insert some moldy old origin theory here) ... the universe was doomed, er, "destined" to contain all of us and our hallucinations, acting out exactly as planned? If so, there'd be no way to avoid bad Saturday Night Live sketches, or endless xendoc debates.   

       What a silly way to run a universe. I'll try to do better next time.
a1, Nov 15 2023

       As I've witnessed it lately, the American education system is quite hobbled in comparison to just a generation ago. This is due to a number of factors:   

       Dollars spent: a long time ago when I was a lad we had things like music, art, and foreign language teachers that would be dedicated to specific school buildings. Nowadays these specialists divide their time between entire districts, so students get maybe one music class per week if they're lucky. This has been driven by initiatives to keep property taxes artificially low until a house is sold.   

       Things those dollars are spent on: Some jeenyus declared that having a computer lab wasn't good enough, so now each student must have their own personal screen from which some simpleton education theorist thinks they just download rote information into their brains like hard drives and spew it back out in some robotic impersonation of an educated pupil. Don't they know we're supposed to do the robotic imbibing and spewing of rote information from chalkboards and stone tablets? The model of education as rote information memorization simply spilled over into modernity in most respects. Some schools have tried new things to get out of it with mixed results and too often oversight from school board members themselves educated in robotic ways.   

       Cars and screens and Covid have turned us into a nation of sitters and not doers. In one metric, only 70% of the military is staffed. Only 3 in 10 Americans that enter into a military recruitment center can even qualify; and that's not just based on poor health but also poor education. And that's before they fall out at basic.   

       Buses: as small towns shrank and suburb districts grew, buses have had to run two routes to pick up kids; schools in many places had to adjust their start times to allow time for the buses to run those two routes, which inevitably eats into the educational day. More drivers and buses would be nice, but try and find more bus drivers. Go on. Some districts have given up busing altogether. Covid pushed all that off a cliff. School schedules are now clusterfucks with elementary schools starting horridly late, and middle and high schools starting horridly early.   

       Conservative religious simpletons and anti-science modern equivalent of hippies ruining everything. This goes without saying.
RayfordSteele, Nov 15 2023

       //try and find more bus drivers. Go on//   

       Pay enough and I'll be a bus driver. So would many other people. When the word gets out that there's money in driving busses they'll start lining up.
Voice, Nov 15 2023

       Well, the US Department Of Education was started in 1980 had a budget of 88 billion this year, they'll fix it. Once a government agency starts getting almost a tenth of a trillion in taxpayer dollars a year you know good stuff's gonna happen. But it's only been a little under half a century, let's give them a little time to iron out the kinks, but in another thousand years or so WOW! will our kids be smart!   

       I think AI holds great promise in freeing education from the oligarchy that controls it now. It'll might take a little while, but information age technology already allows those who want to learn the facility to do so very cheaply. Rather than buildings that look like, and cost like castles, holding teachers, and expansive living facilities the student's live in, and busses and roads to take the students there, it's an internet connection to a series of servers. These servers need a facility to keep them running, but you can have millions of students learning from a facility the size of a Taco Bell. Fitting that many students into a Taco Bell physically would be otherwise problematic. Plus they'd only learn about tacos.   

       I see a day when you log into "EducationStuff.com" and say "I want to be a brain surgeon." Your AI professor will quiz you for a few days to find out your current level of knowledge on all things brainy, then say "I've evaluated your path to being a brain surgeon, you will need to study with me for 4 years, 8 hours a day, then once you pass the tests I've given you I found an internship at the Mayo Clinic which you will do for 4 years before we move you to being a resident and after passing your board exams you will be a brain surgeon in the specialty we discussed, estimated time 16 to 20 years. I also found you a job at Taco Bell that you'll have to work at while taking these coursed, but it only costs $50 a month so you'll be fine. Ready to get started?"
doctorremulac3, Nov 15 2023

       That sounds both amazing and almost possible.
Voice, Nov 15 2023

       I think so. The information age is like the discovery of fire. Fire can cook food, keep us warm in winter or burn down villages depending on who's using it. Yes, there's a lot of creepy stuff out there on the internet turning kids into short attention span zombies, but it can also bring knowledge to the masses that was previously only available to those with the money to afford it.   

       I think there's a positive path forward.
doctorremulac3, Nov 15 2023

       Dammit the plural of bus is buses.   

       There, I've said it.   

       Governments everywhere get money from their citizens and apply some of it to their schools. Many of them have much better outcomes than we do here. It's not rocket surgery and doesn't have to fall into the perpetual reductionist libertarian argument about money. Yes, government is wasteful. Yes, ours is more so because we write papers to study how to best cut a piece of paper with scissors before actually doing so and have debates between pro-scissors and anti-scissors groups for years. Moving on.   

       Are you willing to up your taxes so that your local district can pay their bus drivers the wages to compete with dodumbwork fromhomeforamazingdollars.com, Uber, Doordash, and unions and whatever else hires people on a part-time basis? Teachers went on strike in more than a few locations recently. And they're the paid part of school dollars that people actually think about.
RayfordSteele, Nov 15 2023

       So the solution to our failing education system is to raise taxes and pay bus drivers more?   

       I think you may have put a spotlight on the problem right there. Ironically.
doctorremulac3, Nov 15 2023


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