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Cheese Candles

make light of supper
  (+12, -7)
(+12, -7)
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I am hearing recently that cheese melts very well, therefore I have been thinking that perhaps it would be very beneficial to manufacture candles using cheese as a replacement for the - more traditional - wax. This has several advantageouses: 1) cheese is far more edible and delicious than wax, and wax makes for a poor fondue indeed; therefore small meat cubes could be deliciously cooked as a fine by-product of light generation; 2) candles could be effectively carved using cheesewire, as opposed to the more laborious method of sculpting wax using heat engines; 3) cheese is transmogrified as a by-product of cattle farming through an efficient process of fractional distillation, and is thus readily available, whereas wax must be paid for by buying off of human/humen's ears, and at a dear cost at that!
eehen, Jul 09 2000

Racletta cheese http://www.igourmet.com/shoppe.asp?cat=1
Racletta cheese could be used for the purpose... "However, this cheese is traditionally melted (a half wheel is placed in a fireplace, then the melted top surface is continuously scraped off) and layered atop boiled potatoes, pickles, fresh vegetables and sliced meats." [arghblah, Jul 09 2000, last modified Oct 04 2004]

Candlefish http://www.absc.usg...hPopUps/Smelts.html
[rmutt, Jul 09 2000, last modified Oct 04 2004]


       Fantastic if you like the "burning cheese" variety of perfumed candles.   

       You'd have to try and manufacture smokeless cheese, first. Genetically modified cows again?
Lemon, Jul 11 2000

       Why not cut the whole process down to developing genetically engineered smokeless cows?
jetckalz, Jul 11 2000

       Personally I love smoke cheese, although no reason why not both. I can see that parmesan candles would make very useful table furniture for italian restaurants.
Robbins, Jul 19 2000

       I think the quality of the candle would depend on the quality of the cheese. Really crummy process cheese isn't even made from milk- it's made from oil, so these should burn very nicely. Unfortunately, good cheese has a lot of protein, which can really stink when it burns.   

       Still, there's enough fat to burn in most cheeses to make great candles. The variety of cheese is going to make a huge difference here, though. Parmesan, Romano, Danish Blue, Roquefort and Cheddar should make great candles, as they smell great already.   

       They're also a nice addition to a salad or pasta dish. Don't get enough cheese? Grate the candle!   

       You won't get most people within ten feet of a Limburger, Brie or Gorgonzola candle, though- they stink badly enough without burning them!   

       Or- like some cigars- maybe they'd smell BETTER on fire......
BigThor, Jul 31 2000

       Now I almost want to try it.   

       But would the molten cheese be sufficiently liquid to "wick" properly? Are some kinds of cheese goopier than others when hot?
egnor, Aug 01 2000

       As far as edible candles go, my science teacher last year made a candle out of an apple, with a sliver of almond for the wick. It looked like a homemade candle, and there was enough oil in the almond to burn for a few seconds before he ate it. Of course, he didn't tell us what it was made of until after he ate it. Everyone was amazed.   

       Also, wouldn't the cheese go bad before the candle finished burning?
Lirp, Aug 14 2000

caycee, Oct 20 2000

       I recall an old fairy tale about the origin of dairy products. It seems that long ago, only the elves knew how to make cheese and butter, until a man caught one of them. "If you let me go, I'll tell you how to make good things out of cow's milk", it pleaded. So the man agreed, and the elf told him how to turn milk into butter, and then how to turn milk into cheese. Then the man let it go. At this, the elf laughed and said "You fool! If you had kept me longer, I would have told you how to turn milk into wax!" and disappeared.
baf, Nov 11 2000

       Wax burns. Cheese will not burn as wax does. Nevertheless, I think a small proportion of cheese could be added to the wax as a filler.
Vance, Feb 05 2001


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