Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Chicken Head Conning Towers

cluck, cluck, cluck
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Supplant the conning towers of some submarines with large brightly coloured chicken heads, that completely cover the existing structures.

These submarines would then cruise along just below the surface, with only the chicken heads fully exposed. At night, the heads would be brightly illuminated. Powerful speakers would supplement the spectacle of these nautical chickens by broadcasting a suitable range of loud clucking and crowing sounds, that would travel many miles across the sea surface.

This mad demonstration would take place instead of a show of force in international waters, but within easy surveillance range of any hostile state.
"How would you like your eggs - scrambled or fried?"

xenzag, Aug 26 2017

Chicken Head Submarine https://sodabred.tu...onning-towers-its-a
illustration [xenzag, Apr 14 2018]

[link]






       In case of trouble, could they Duck ... ?
8th of 7, Aug 26 2017
  

       Submarines rely on stealth - a commander would find such a visible feature eggsasperating ...
8th of 7, Aug 26 2017
  

       No problem; decoy chicken buoys.
pertinax, Aug 26 2017
  

       Welcome to de base.
pertinax, Aug 27 2017
  

       It's highly unlikely that the Loch Ness Monster is a meerkat.
xenzag, Aug 27 2017
  

       See last link....illustration on tumblr
xenzag, Apr 14 2018
  

       // secretly populate the loch with occasional submarines //   

       There are some flaws in that suggestion.   

       1. If the submarines are truly secret, no-one will see them - thus no public interest will be engendered.   

       2. A submarine that is not a full-time submarine is not merely ineffective, but actually dangerous (i.e. the CSS Hunley). Submarines need to have all the essential attributes of a submarine all the time they are in water, otherwise they are more accurately described as "coffins".   

       Having said that, if you wish to amuse yourself by motoring round Loch Ness in a mini-submarine with a live cat ty-wrapped to the periscope, we will be delighted to provide all necessary equipment and pay your travelling expenses.
8th of 7, Apr 14 2018
  

       I imagine it's not the submarines that are secret, but the process of populating the loch with them. Hence the use of the adverbial form "secretly".
pertinax, Apr 14 2018
  
      
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