Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Chuck Norris Meat Tenderiser

pound your tough steaks with a Chuck Norris fist
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Quote from Family Guy episode “They say Chuck Norris is so tough, there is no chin under his beard - there is only another fist” (see link)

Chuck Norris has widespread appeal, especially in certain parts of America, where they also happen to be avid consumers of cheaper cuts of meat that require a lot of tenderising. (so I’m told)

This presents the ideal opportunity to create a new celebrity product that satisfies an obvious gap in the market - a product that takes the form of the Chuck Norris Meat Tenderiser.

There are two versions of the Chuck Norris Meat Tenderiser:

Version One is a wooden shaft sculpted in the manner of an arm, that terminates in a heavy metal cast of Norris’s fist. To use it requires a basic manual hammering action.

Version Two is a motorised fist that emerges from under the beard of a Chuck Norris replica head, and behaves in the exact manner as the one depicted in the cartoon clip. In this case you simply place the meat on the rotating tray located in front of the head and activate the fist, which will emerge and begin pounding the meat into a tenderised state. (as per link)

Super Deluxe version plays a variety of Hillbilly style banjo music during the tenderising.

xenzag, Aug 18 2025

Family Guy https://www.youtube...watch?v=RtTALshxZjc
Chuck Norris [xenzag, Aug 18 2025]

[link]






       Can I have a Chuck Norris electric meat pounder with his leg and foot rotating around to kick the meat?
Voice, Aug 18 2025
  

       I'm sure there are variables possible. I also have a Bruce Lee Nunchuck Mosquito Swatter under development but it takes up a lot of room and is hard to control.
xenzag, Aug 18 2025
  

       Banjo hillbilies are an entirely different part of the country. That's West Virginia or the Ozarks not Texas. What you're looking for here is steel guitar country music. Different sort of trash.   

       Also, you don't want to liquify the meat, just tenderize it...
RayfordSteele, Aug 19 2025
  
      
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