Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Clockwork Parade Horse

Now in Appaloosa!
  [vote for,

Sometimes it would be good to have the look of a horse-drawn vehicle. Nothing grabs attention like a horse-drawn chariot in a parade, or a troica or beer truck. Then those pesky hoses need to be fed, watered, brushed, dunged etc the rest of the year. But no more!

Introducing the Clockwork Parade Horse from BUNGCO! The same size and weight as a real horse, with realistic skin, mane and tail, the CPH is actually a simple clockwork contraption which can be attached to the front of your conventional motorized vehicle. The framework by which the horse appears to be pulling your car, golf cart, etc is actually solid, and serves to push the CPH forward and power its motion. As the CPH moves forward, each leg in turn comes up, flexes and moves forward in a motion painstakingly designed by BUNGCO engineers to simulate a trot.

Or maybe a canter. In any case, now you can simulate that horse-drawn look whenever you like. The simple machinery inside the CPH will last for years. The CPH is solid enough that it can be ridden. The subtle bobblehead action and deep liquid eyes of the CPH guarantees that horse lovers will come forward to offer a carrot. And best of all: no dung!

BUNGCO does not recommend that the Clockwork Parade Horse be used at speeds exceeding 30 miles per hour.

bungston, May 01 2005

Tiger Shiva http://www.kezanti.com/TigerShiva.html
Rideable clockwork tiger [rmutt, Dec 12 2006]


       I'd call it silly/impossible if I hadn't seen the passive-powered bipeds that robotics researchers have made. [+]
5th Earth, May 01 2005

       (5th)Surely Dungston is talking about a giant clockwork horse toy that 'dangles' in front of a car (enngine et al) that looks like a chariot. Put stuff on the hooves to make sparks when it flicks the ground. And I think we should keep the dung but replace it with chocolate muffins and laugh heartily as children run along behind scooping up the dung and eating it. You could even fit a beer pump underneath. I tried the fake dung thing using bread and coffee, very authentic, very difficult to swallow, works best when performed casually in a public place.
weedy, May 01 2005

       Did you have a fake horse too, [weedy], or did you just let it fall down your pants leg?
bungston, May 02 2005

       Perhaps also a moustachioed and top-hatted clockwork handsom cab driver, with realistic whip hand action, to place rear and atop your car, like a cumbersome Victorian spoiler.
calum, May 02 2005

       Bungs, actually I made fake poos and put them by a tree outside my house and then took the dog out. The dog naturally recognized it as a food product and nearly tore my arm off racing to eat them (He's the kind of dog that must be held back while you open the fridge). As he gobbled it all up desperately I collapsed in hysterics and a passing snooty woman looked on in disgust at my appparent coprophilic rapture. Also my mum was less than impressed when she found that I'd stored some of my finest works in her freezer for posterity. I had some explaining to do.
weedy, May 03 2005

       My world is a better place now that I have heard that story, and learned the term "coprophilic rapture".
bungston, May 03 2005


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