Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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"To the Arachnophilair BugBoy!"
  [vote for,

You've waited for the package to arrive for some time now.
A a six month waiting list, two delays and now you've got to fake a sick call to work because if you don't open the package within twelve hours of receipt the product will not function rendering the warranty null and void.

You've picked a perfect spot on the top of a nearby hillock with good drainage and a level surface so you skip the ground preparation tips and carefully slide the bundle from the box. The bundle has a single instruction sticker which reads; [cut zip-tie, stand back].

As you snip the plastic grommet away you silently thank your lucky stars that your wife is at her mothers for the weekend because if she knew that you'd spent a weeks wages on something this cockamamie... it may just as well be a doghouse you are erecting instead of the greenhouse you'd promised to start on as an excuse to get a weekend to yourself.
Long memory-plastic poles uncoil and assume the shape of a dome with a smallish box at its zenith and cables radiating centrally from another smaller box to the base of each pole. The undersides if each of these poles have small spaced parabolic dishes.

The upper box opens and hundreds of one inch communal spiders swarm from it slowly as the increased temperature thaws them from their dormancy. Minutes pass and already you can see the beginning of a tangled snarl of webbing between the closest of the pole connections.
About the time you are wondering if they will make it all the way to the grass and escape, the lower box opens releasing the first swarm of tiny flying insects preferred by the spiders as a barely audible sound emerges from the parabolic emitters. You notice how the little flyers are not affected by the noise but any spiders within the dome structure itself hightail it to the backside of the little dishes very quickly.

Reading the blurb on the box you learn that the emitters are designed so that the sonic waves repelling the spiders cancel themselves out where they converge keeping the interior of the structure free of them while the intermittent release of their favorite food supply keeps them close enough to finish webbing the entire exterior before laying their egg sacks and ending their forty eight hour lifespan.

Aerosolized resin is then sprayed in stages from the sides of each pole locking the spider strands into place and creating a water tight seal against the elements while letting in abundant light for you wife's tomatoes.

Cracking a cold one you put your feet up, enjoy the show, and reflect on explaining to your wife how the extra expense over conventional building materials was more than made up for in labor savings.


       I hardly seems fair to nit-pick such a well-thought invention, but your wife might have appreciated a door into this greenhouse.
Boomershine, Oct 20 2010

       There's a tunnel to the house. You'd love it.   

       // hardly seems fair to nit-pick such a well-thought invention //   

       Yes, but you're going to, aren't you ?
8th of 7, Oct 20 2010

       //Yes, but you're going to, aren't you ?//   

       Nope, just the door. I didn't see that tunnel. The rest seems straight forward enough...
Boomershine, Oct 20 2010


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