Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Conveyor bed

No more hospital corners though.
  [vote for,

[a bit of background, I’ll be brief] A month ago I came home late from work, about eight o-clock, to find my mom collapsed at the bottom of the stairs at the entrance to her suite and too weak to call for help. Turns out she was fighting pneumonia in both lungs, strep A, and Sepsis (a blood infection) culminating in respiratory distress syndrome. If I had worked another half an hour this story would have had a different ending. As it is, she was intubated and asleep for twenty one days but is now out of the ICU and causing the nurses all sorts of grief on the way to getting her strength back.

For several days after she woke up she was unable to move herself in bed, it is still quite a chore and the nurses have more important things to tend to than shuffling people around in their beds to find the most comfortable position or to help the patient sit up at whim.
The beds themselves are adjustable but if someone has slid down, changing the bed to a sitting position does little besides cramming a patients' chin into their chest.
So, short story long, why not have conveyor hospital beds?
Waterproof detachable fabric, the width of the bed, would be stretched taut over rollers at the headboard and footboard allowing the patient to control their own positioning with the push of a button.


       Took me a minute but then I saw what you were describing. A bun for you and your mom. (Hope she's okay.)
migennes, Apr 01 2006

       Thanks. She should be. <knocks on wood>   

       Good one. Nurses spend so much time each day changing the position of patients so they don't get bedsores or uncomfortable, it's not even funny. I would give 2 croissants, but it is not possible.
craziness, Apr 01 2006

       bun for your mum. hope she is o.k.
po, Apr 01 2006

       Great idea. Here comes a croissant down the conveyor   

       _______(())_____for you and best wishes for your Mother.
xandram, Apr 03 2006

       I hope she's fine.   

       Good idea by the way.
skinflaps, Apr 03 2006

       The first prototype will be way too popular in the kids' section.
"Whee!" *Splathunk*.
But I'm sure that can be worked out. Throw in a massage kit as the means of locomotion that softly, but resolutely, kneads you into place?
Regards to your mum.
jutta, Apr 03 2006

       She is tickled pink by the well wishes.   

       I like your idea [2fries], but you will need an external roller to ensure the fabric follows the mattress' shape when in the sitting-up position. I suggest smooth, freely-rotating wooden beads on a rigid axle fixed to the bed frame (these wooden beads will rotate in the opposite direction the patient wants to go so friction must be kept to a minimum).

Please convey (ha!) my best wishes to your mum.
methinksnot, Apr 04 2006

       Of course, one has to wonder the possibilities of it turning on in the night, throwing you over the top.
Abusementpark, Dec 10 2006


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