Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
h a l f b a k e r y
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Cooling the Earth

The good guy approach
  (+9, -10)
(+9, -10)
  [vote for,

To counteract global warming, the UN mandates that everyone on the planet wear a white hat during daylight hours. Preferably, these hats should be of the ten-gallon Texas variety. My calculations suggest that, with everyone cooperating, about one millionth of the incident solar radiation will be reflected back into space. If this is not sufficient, white shoes may also be required.

Later, with global warming solved, the UN can move on to banishing seasons, requiring black hats in winter, and white hats during summer. Australians will have to wear really big hats to make up for their insignificant population density.

(Yes, I searched this and found the white road idea, but, when not suffering from road blindness it would look quite tacky.)

ldischler, Oct 20 2002

other halfbakery links about global warming http://www.halfbake...bal+warming&ok=+OK+
[rabbit, Oct 21 2002]

Daisyworld http://www.acad.car...aisyworld_model.htm
The whole global warming/cooling thing controlled by black and white daisies. [st3f, Oct 21 2002]

Polar Icecap melting http://abcnews.go.c...icecap_feature.html
link 1 for briandamage [krelnik, Oct 23 2002]

African mountain icecaps melting http://fr.allafrica...s/200210180680.html
link 2 for briandamage [krelnik, Oct 23 2002]

[ldischler] link for you dear. hope you have been welcomed warmly to the halfbakery http://www.oism.org...33p36.htm#Message44
please use the link button for - ahem, links! [po, Oct 23 2002]

OISM's story http://www.prwatch.org/improp/oism.html
That so-called "Institute" is actually just a nut in a farmhouse. Here's his story. [krelnik, Oct 23 2002]

Responding to Global Warming Skeptics http://www.ucsusa.o...nment/skeptics.html
Here's what the Union of Concerned Scientists has to say (see very bottom for some comments on OISM as well) [krelnik, Oct 23 2002]

My gonzo economic analysis http://www.delocorp.net/trade/index.html
ldischler's stab at economics - a work in progress [ldischler, Oct 24 2002]

Useful article about vitamins. http://www.netdocto.../vitamins_which.htm
Check out Vitamin D (about two thirds of the way down the page). [DrBob, Oct 25 2002]

US Department of Energy http://www.eren.doe.gov/csp/
Solar Power Programme [DrBob, Oct 25 2002]


       I'm much to vain to wear a big white hat. Why don't we just cover the earth with a large toupee.
lazloquezos, Oct 21 2002

       We're going to see a lot more of this and sorry but white hats won't help.
rabbit, Oct 21 2002

       If you started to replace all roof tiles on all buildings with mirror tiles, you'd start to reflect a lot of energy away from urban heat islands (not to metion dazzling a lot of pilots, so maybe that isn't so clever after all).
8th of 7, Oct 21 2002

       //...white hats won't help.//   

       But each hat is bigger than a butterfly in China...   

       Bravo ldischler. I love garden parties and wearing white linen.
hollajam, Oct 21 2002

       I believe in doing my part. I'm off to look for an unfeasably large white hat. (not australian - just trying to boost the stats)
st3f, Oct 21 2002

       Pity it won't work - I feel this could be one of the few 'green' ideas that famous Texan Dubya might actually put into law.
namaste, Oct 21 2002

       The advantage of “white hats” is that it is voluntary (much like burkas in Afghanistan), and doesn’t require any specific technological advance (white asphalt). It’s cheap too – I know: I’m gearing up the hat factory now. Anyone who wears one of my hats can feel as though he is doing something important. Getting people involved is important, and need not be effective. This is similar to the US program of wearing red ribbons to prevent drug use. Later on, with Amsterdam and Indonesia under water, school children will bake memorial cookies.
ldischler, Oct 21 2002

       // Amsterdam and Indonesia under water //   

       Actually, [Idischler], Amsterdam will probably be the place to survive longest - the Dutch have been fighting the sea for a thousand years and they're pretty damn good at it.   

       And after all, why be concerned about Indonesia, the Ganges delta, or the Pacific atolls ? As long as the bad things are only happeining to poor people in hot, far away places, why should anyone in the West worry ?
8th of 7, Oct 21 2002

       Well, [8th], my hometown of New Orleans will be underwater. No big surprise there – it was below sea level to begin with.
ldischler, Oct 21 2002

       Ah - nothing like enlightened self interest to kick-start the altruism .......   

       Query: Is New Orleans under threat because of sea level rise, land movement, change in rainfall patterns (affecting the Mississippi basin), agriculture practices changing runoff, the machinations of the Federal Government , or "All of the above" ? Opinion seems to be split on the cause.
8th of 7, Oct 21 2002

       White hats or no, the End will come and everyone who lives there knows exactly how – a hurricane with perfect aim will push Lake Pontchartrain over the levees and into the city. Once the bowl that passes for habitable land is filled, it could take years to pump it out again with the one pump that can run submerged. Surprisingly, the economy of the city would be little affected, as that is mostly based on riverboat gambling.
ldischler, Oct 21 2002

       As long as the bar at the top of the trade centre remains, the New Orleans economy will survive (judging by the price of a bottle of beer in there anyway!).
Jinbish, Oct 21 2002

       "This is never gonna work in ..." It has been brought to my attention that there might be cultural difficulties with the mandate that everyone wear Texas ten-gallons. The UN is prepared to be flexible, and makes the following Exception: with the additions of wide brims, yarmulkes will be acceptable.
ldischler, Oct 21 2002


       Also include "wide brim turbans" and while we're at it ladies will party on the patio with all those sharp dressed men in their snaZZy Tops.
hollajam, Oct 21 2002

       [hollajam] --I really hope this works out – for personal rather than global reasons. While I like hats (particularly fedoras), I can’t wear them because my wife claims that I look like a pinhead in one, or worse, “daddy’s little man”. Now I’ll be invulnerable to such attacks – I’ll be saving the Earth!
ldischler, Oct 21 2002


       Six billion *UN-hatless heads is a lot of space going to waste. Anyone can see that.   

       And if you want to ldischler, you can wear a fine chenille letter on your chest while you work.
hollajam, Oct 21 2002

       ...stripes with plaid...and a fedora.
ldischler, Oct 21 2002

       Global warming??? What a load of bollox. No such thing. Its a bloody great scam perpetrated by a huge community of 'scientists, governmental and non-governmental agencies, and other blaggers who are scamming us (the tax-payers), out of whopping great wedges of cash, so that they can wander around the world being 'concerned', and pretending to look for answers to a problem that doesn't exist. The sea levels a'rn't rising, the ozone 'hole' isn't getting bigger and we're not all gonna die of malignant melanomas, or drowning. Fishbone.
briandamage, Oct 22 2002

       briandamage?…I'd swear that you've got a couple of letters transposed in your moniker.
ldischler, Oct 22 2002

       no, its spelt exactly right. Or do you think I'm mistaken? About the global warming thing I mean?
briandamage, Oct 22 2002

       //no, its *spelt exactly right//   

       That's it folks! He's from a hearty wheat germ somewhere in Europe.
hollajam, Oct 22 2002

       is this about spelling, or about 'alleged' global warming?
briandamage, Oct 22 2002

       My hat ain't a gonna do too much good. I spend too much o' my time in the house.   

       Would't help if I put a tub o' custard out on the porch? That oughta reflect some, hadn't it?
lurch, Oct 22 2002

       Uk-global wanderer-antipodean. Not looking for argument, but a bit of healthy debate concerning so called climate change would be interesting.....
briandamage, Oct 22 2002

       braindamage, It was appropriate of you to point out my off topic annotation. I was overcome by impulse seasoned wit my own dylsexia.   

       This idea is better described as fluid dynamics within a biosphere bound to an oblong bulging spheroid spinning profusely in the dark of space and the impact of its Boolean like exposure to a radaint energy source. Yes. It's true. but be careful not to read anything *extra into the content of my statement.   

       Now that would complicate things...   

       (Oops. Forgot the legitimizer:)   

       //Global warming is occurring // which is why this idea employed on 6,000,000,000 give or take a few is the "fight fire with fire" approach to passive solar energy gain.
hollajam, Oct 22 2002

       Really? All that? And here I thought it was about white hats.
bristolz, Oct 22 2002

       //Global warming is occurring//. Is it? Wheres your evidence?
briandamage, Oct 22 2002

       What? [bristolz] You didn't read between the lines? ;-) <clarified for briandamage>
hollajam, Oct 22 2002

       Please clarify last statement, Hollo.
briandamage, Oct 22 2002

       [braindamage], the beauty of this idea is, if there's no Global Warming, we can credit it to the people in the stylish headgear. But don't worry, those scientists and agencies will find other things to be all concerned about.
Amos Kito, Oct 22 2002

       [bd] I'll open with:   

       The state of Alaska spent a few million dollars several years ago to build a partially submerged viewing room for tourists to see Portage Glacier as it sits "buoyed" in its own runoff lake and sometimes coming within a hundred yards or so from the window. The viewing facility is a very accesible attraction not far of the main road.   

       Tell me where Portage Glacier went...   

       among several other answers regarding phenomenon that I have personally witnessed here in Alaska and I won't challenge further.   

       "Sticking my foot in the door jamb here" [bd] It is now appropriate for us to spare bystanders this more personal discussion by direct email. You're welcome to give it a shot. Just "link" me.   

       btw It is unheard of that we are having right now a week of thaw from what should be permanent snowfall lasting until break-up next Spring...
hollajam, Oct 22 2002

       Just to put fashionable headgear aside for a moment.... All thats gonna do is make a lot of hat makers wealthy, the point is, and I'm trying to explain my fishbone here, is that global warming is a nonsense. The 'surface temp. rose by a massive 0.3 -0.6C. in the last hundred years!!! Most of that from 1900-1940. After that, until the early '70s the temp. fell. When looked at by satelite over the last 30 years or so, the 'atmospheric temp. trend hasn't changed. Now surface temp. is taken with thermometers, usually near centres of population, so of course the temp. is gonna be a bit higher(more burning of fuel, more concrete and asphalt etc). But atmospheric temp. isn't affected by this. Cities cover 1.8% of the planets surface, so taking the temp. near city isn't exactly representative of the whole planet. Now, the point is, if there is no such thing as global warming, why is there such a huge scaremongering industry reaping shed-loads of money (mine and yours) to investigate it? An example? sure, how about the $7.8 million the Australian taxpayer coughed up to CSIRO recently, to investigate 'greenhouse gases'. Whoa, wonder if they found any. That is one of my (many) reasons for fishboning the hat thing. Its like the bloody UN telling me to wear a crash helmet to lessen the risk of a flying pig shitting on me. Pigs don't fly (yet), and global warming doesn't exist, so why try to reverse it?
briandamage, Oct 22 2002

       Hollojam. would love to continue, but I'm now doing this in my own time. So maybe another time......
briandamage, Oct 22 2002

       Still here, but only just. UB. I fully agree with your last sentence. weather comes, weather goes. Its a bit egotistical of us 'umans to think that our farting (pun intended) about is going to affect the global climate. It just bothers me that we're happily spending all this money keeping so many people employed to research something that has no basis in reality. Money better spent designing a working version of the custard filled speed bump for example. Now mans' propensity for polluting this intergalactic spaceship we call earth is another subject altogether. Theres more to worry about than the weather.......
briandamage, Oct 22 2002

       From hats to money-losing tourist attractions, core samples, taxpayers coughing and intergalactic spaceships.   

       All in all, it was funner when it was just about hats. I like hats.
bristolz, Oct 22 2002

       UnaBubba, your eloquent annotation spares me a tremendous labor not because it supports global warming but because it helps convey the more realistic position I take on the whole phenomenon. I remain open minded to Earth's inherent likelihood to fluctuate on her own.   

       [briandamage] My eyes see global warming when compared to *my* relative time frame here on the planet. I also choose to promote reduction of human impact on the planet. Those statements made, I reserve the right to any meaning past those sentences. I assume a lot of interpretive disclaimer presenting annotations here in bakery fashion.   

       I was alluding to a broader perspective on the subject when I cryptically warned "not to read anything 'extra' into the content of my statement." My point was really a desire to challenge the *framed in mindset that global climate is completely unchanged at this moment.   

       Perhaps it worked out as a bit of a set up but it wasn't intentional. It was done with the same desire for healthy debate as you were seeking.   

       Now with all said:   

       Bristolz lets get back to the fun. I too like hats. And I do like white linen and I like garden parties and having more parties on patios with sharp dressed men and ...ahh ..<gasps with image of lovely fantasy>
hollajam, Oct 22 2002

       braindamage (superb!) and UnaBubba - Neither of you is going to convince the other. Me, I'm gonna keep my nice little underground home, eat what's at hand, and die when my time comes. And meanwhile, when I go out, I will wear a little white hat, to display my view on this issue. And braindamage can wear a black hat, and the white hats and black hats can get into fights and brawls and wars with each other and the black hats will win because they don't mind spending resources, and all the remaining white hats will retreat into mountain fastnesses, while the triumphant black hats will occupy the erstwhile rich lowlands and they all will drown or otherwise horribly perish, because they haven't the wits to cope with changing times.
Btw, I have changed my fishbone to a croissant.
rabbit, Oct 22 2002

       Hooray for everybody. This posting has gotten much better, especially after rabbit’s scenario.
FarmerJohn, Oct 22 2002

       I like to dress in black a lot (including the hat (= ski mask)), but I live on a hill because I'm worried about flooding ....   

       As to global warming, the jury is still out. I remain to be coinvinced that galciation is a Good Thing. We have weather records going back about 200 years. The biosphere is a couple of billion years old and has experienced everything from ice ages to carboniferous fry-ups. I am puzzled as to why if the "experts" are so skilled at deducing long term outcomes from short term trends in chaotic systmes, based on a few scattered datum points, why aren't they in the casinos in Vegas, cleaning up ? "Insufficient data, recalibrate and re-submit".   

       The exception is the ozone hole. I consider the case against CFCs is resonably well proven.
8th of 7, Oct 22 2002

       By Jutta, you Europeans had a war here while I was asleep. [Hollajam] – you live in Alaska? That explains the snow, but not the hours you keep, the English accent, or the garden parties. I’m pretty sure garden parties with fine linens are not allowed in Alaska. [Briandamage] – if that is really your name, I agree with you, there is no global warming. I even signed a petition to that effect. Really! And if I were in Congress, I’d pass a law against it.   

       It has been my belief for some time that the real purpose of humanity on this planet is to burn up all of the fossil fuels and put the CO2 back into the atmosphere for the benefit of plant life. I suspect that our evolution has been very carefully orchestrated by the global plant mind so that we would do just that. And, once our work is done, we will have a final encounter with…the Triffids.   

       I’m feeling somewhat down, defeated, as my every attempt at satire here has succumbed. (Well, the help page said this could happen, and that it would be my fault.)
ldischler, Oct 22 2002

       Instead of mirrored shingles on the roofs, (which would be expensive as heck), just collect a few thousand of those AOL CD's.
RayfordSteele, Oct 22 2002

       //It just bothers me that we're happily spending all this money keeping so many people employed to research something that has no basis in reality.//   

       The philosophy of research is to test, test, and test again just whether somthing has any basis in reality. Form a hypothesis; 'the earth is warming due to man's activities'. invesigate, your results will either run against the hypothesis (in which case its time to modify it) or will support it (in which case its time to subject it to more rigourous testing) this is the central tenet of science, and to suggest its abandonment makes as much sence as giving creationism equal billing (as a scientific theory) with evolution in schools.   

       Oh, and I'd happily take to wearing a white suit to help with the albedo!
Zircon, Oct 22 2002

       Bonnets are sexy.
blissmiss, Oct 22 2002

       Yes, bonnets would definitely cool things off a bit.
ldischler, Oct 22 2002

       Is it OK to have a bee in my bonnet?
Amos Kito, Oct 22 2002

       Anymore of that kind of stuff, and I'll have to use this delete button. I've got my finger on it right now...
ldischler, Oct 22 2002

       Will people with white hair be exempt from the mandatory millinery?
calum, Oct 22 2002

       Everybody wants to be special... I’m going to let polar bears off easy, but white-headed folk will have to conform like everybody else -- after all, they’ve been spewing out CO2 the longest.
ldischler, Oct 22 2002

       But polar bears cheat!   

       Their hide is black with hollow translucent fur in perfect compliance for solar heat absorption. I was already planning to wear a wider brimmed hat to accommodate our fellow baker, 8th of 7's preference for black. How shall I make up for the bears' presence also?
hollajam, Oct 22 2002

       Of course! Thanks for bringing this to my attention, hollajam. We will kill them immediately.
ldischler, Oct 22 2002

       I know! capture all the polar bears, tie them up into a big plug shape, and then stuff them into the hole in the "ozone layer". Thereby saving mankind from Uv rays, reflecting the 'dangerous ol' sunlight out into space before it harms us and protecting al the ickle fwuffy harp seals from the nasty bears. Then when we are over-run with seals, we can club the pups to death and make furry hats to keep us warm in the impending ice age. Sorted. You know? Sometimes I even scare myself!
briandamage, Oct 22 2002

       [briandamage], we are on the same page. Ever thought of working for the UN? You obviously have the "right stuff".
ldischler, Oct 22 2002

       No. What are the hours and pay like tho'? i would cheerfully accept a posting to monitor surf conditions anywhere in the world for expenses and a small allowance. But if I've got run around a war zone in a blue hat telling psyco-nutters to chill the f**k out, then I'm afraid your on yer own.
briandamage, Oct 22 2002

       No, nothing that complicated. You just have to wear a white hat and kill anyone wearing a black hat. I could arrange a posting to, say, Bora Bora. Spotty Internet connections, but good surf.   

       Good pay, too.
ldischler, Oct 22 2002

       <thinking aloud under white wide-brimmed hat>   

       Hmm...keywords of note:

       "Well the moniker itself...[***********]   

       "Ozone issues - consumed by - Oh!
'Zoned' issues...Oh! ...Consumes ozone!"

       "...Multiple locale of surfing references"   

       "Uh, later maybe..." </thinking aloud under whit wide- brimmed hat>   

       Newspaper headlines: "Dead Head Slacker Concert Down Under.."   

       <thinking again> "Down under what? Oh! ...
Surfer = Slacker! Ah!.. A head dead surfer slacked down under by a wompin' wave of noxious ozone...well, I dunno, maybe?" <end of thought>
hollajam, Oct 22 2002

       The 'UB' rays weren't a problem until just now...   

       ..That couldn't possibly have been Freudian...?
hollajam, Oct 22 2002

       /traps/ These are traps. Sensuous traps sometimes but still dangerous. Not slips from the lips..   

       <edit> now I'm confused - admittedly a little over protective of self but you understand. Don't you?   

       I do like lingerie. Even more when it lollygags.
hollajam, Oct 23 2002

       hollajam, you have reached new heights of incomprehensibility.   

       I have long been skeptical of global warming claims. It's my current view that there is not a shred of evidence that it exists. It's all circumstantial.   

       We quite simply have not been around and keeping records long enough to make any kind of claims about the state of the earth's climate fluctuations.
waugsqueke, Oct 23 2002

       Waugs you've heard it from me before.
I _am_ empathetic about this trouble you experience.

       It might help if *we could distinguish the parameters of our usage of "global Warming." <Just remember, don't *read extra* into my comments>
hollajam, Oct 23 2002

       I like lingerie, too.
rabbit, Oct 23 2002

       <hj finishes a perfect 3 minute egg> I get the your motive for the visit now UB - I think.   

       Clever the package delivered. Curious the contents received.   

       I had been in hat mode here with the idea of "apparel as additional reflective sources"   

       After hissing at the seedy cryptogram delivered I was moved by guilt to go along with the "Classic Glass House" episode playing out in my mind.   

       "Impact global warming and chill at the same time while freshening your *intimate apparel* ..."Why not? What's there to be afraid of...?" .   

       Disappointed only for dusting off a *favorite image then missing some of the fun. Another time then.
hollajam, Oct 23 2002

       THE END
ldischler, Oct 23 2002

       [UB] Are you trying to say 'you're' equivalent to the entire combined resources of the law enforcement agencies of the United States of America...?   

       Send 'em on. I have nothing to hide.
hollajam, Oct 23 2002

       hollajam and UnaBubba: The best way to beat the heat is to get naked.
rabbit, Oct 23 2002

       [UB], just words I couldn't hold back. Pay no attention.
hollajam, Oct 23 2002

       The best thing to do it to go home and get some sleep -- you'll feel better after some deletions in the morning. The bar is now CLOSED. Rabbit, could you make sure hollajam gets home all right?
ldischler, Oct 23 2002

       I must admit that I've given up making any sense of [hollajam]'s comments some time ago. [UB] - I think it's too late for the aluminium foil now.   

       As to the matter in hand - what about all the energy and materials that would be required to make the hats. We could go around in suits made out of waste paper, mainly white, which would have the same kind of effect. Of course in areas that have bright sunlight (Australia, California, Africa) you wouldn't be able to look at each other.
PeterSilly, Oct 23 2002

       [PeterSilly] I’m not divulging what I’m making these hats out of, but rest assured that the rash is quite temporary. As for not looking at one another, bosh! Everyone will be much more attractive. If you don’t believe me, take a look at the Dale Evans and Roy Rogers link above. (And they wore those things in California, you know.)
ldischler, Oct 23 2002

       But bonnets *are* sexy, to the Amish.
blissmiss, Oct 23 2002

       I guess that explains why we're overrun with them Amish.
ldischler, Oct 23 2002

       Not bad UB. You've calculated 1/333,000 of the incident radiation sent skyward, while the original idea suggested 1/1,000,000 -- only a factor of 3 difference. I will not quibble; we can go with your number.
ldischler, Oct 23 2002

       Assuming a uniform (!) distribution of humans over the earth's surface, then only 3bn will be in daylight at any one time. Given that not all the hats will be perpendicular to the sun's rays, then 1/1,000,000 sounds good.   

       Or were we planning to keep everyone running to keep up with the sunlight?
whimsickle, Oct 23 2002

       The important thing is not the exact magnitude of the effect; our scientists can disagree about a factor of two or three. We can quibble about whether people will have to run around to the lighted side of the planet. But the important thing is that the effect is real. In this, we are in agreement. And the most important thing is that we, as the citizens of this planet, have joined together in a common feeling of accomplishment. We have faced up to the sun, hats on. It is truly our finest hour.
ldischler, Oct 23 2002

       // In this, we are in agreement. //   

       I'm not.
waugsqueke, Oct 23 2002

       Oh....shame. Briandamage will be around to see you.
ldischler, Oct 23 2002

       What about black ski-masks ? What about the people who have to wear paper bags over their heads ?
8th of 7, Oct 23 2002

       I'm sure our friends in the military might have some camouflage-related concerns, as well.   

       [8th] You can carry on wearing your paper bag under your hat.
whimsickle, Oct 23 2002

       Perhaps a change in specification to white sombreros would help.
bristolz, Oct 23 2002

       Bosh! See http://www.oism.org/pproject/s33p36.htm#Message44
ldischler, Oct 23 2002

       link put up for [ldischler]
po, Oct 23 2002

       Jeez, [krelnik], your reference is nothing but an obvious smear job. It attacks my guy for everything from being from a small town to the typeface he uses. It even tries to make his association with Nobel Prize winners sound like a negative, but it says next to nothing relevant to the actual issues. And what little it does say appears to support him. Got anything that actually disproves what he says?   

       (Thanks po, for keeping me legal.)
ldischler, Oct 23 2002

       [krelnik], your new reference also attacks my guy, saying that his original mailing tried to make it seem as though it was from the NAS. I was a senior scientist for a research company at that time, and received that mailing. It never seemed to me to be anything other than what it was. I found it convincing, and I signed the accompanying petition. You imply that I am “right-wing”, which is of course a symptom of the problem here. Knowing nothing of my political beliefs, you assume that I am “right-wing”, because for you the science is overshadowed by the politics. It is left wing to believe in global warming and right wing not to believe in it. But I like to look at the data before making decisions. The Petition Project supplies as much graphical data as it does verbiage. Your second reference does a lot of hand waving, but does not show a single graph. For me, the hand waving is simply not credible.
ldischler, Oct 23 2002

       I reckon GW is a charade.
General Washington, Oct 23 2002

       It is the believers in global warming that want Governments to make changes to the way society and businesses currently operate. Fine, if there is a problem let them show the data. The ball is in their court. But they haven’t the data to show. And they don’t act in good faith when they try to smear those on the other side of the issue who do have data.
ldischler, Oct 23 2002

       I resent the implication that I'm right-wing simply because I don't believe the global warming hype.
waugsqueke, Oct 23 2002

       Even if global warming is not happening, doesn't it make sense to try to reduce emissions and in general to promote conservation?
rabbit, Oct 24 2002

       [rabbit] I'm in favor of doing things for logical reasons. I would be in favor of a high tariff on imported oil, simply because I believe that the imbalance of trade is a huge negative for the US.
ldischler, Oct 24 2002

       All this over white hats, my, my.   

       Maybe the dinosaurs all started wearing white hats and that is what realy caused the nuclear winter.   

       We could talk more about these serious matters, but I'm not sure that the halfbakery is the place to do it.
rabbit, Oct 24 2002

       UB, I'm not talking about draconian tariffs -- just an average tariff of 10%. A few weeks ago I did an analysis of the general effects of tariff rates on the US (a complete gonzo analysis from a non-economist), and posted the surprising results on my website. I'll provide a link above -- and here, since the top of the page is now about six miles up -- http://www.delocorp.net/trade/index.html.
ldischler, Oct 24 2002

       ldischler, pardon me, but you say you're in favor of doing things for logical reasons and a stiff tariff on imported oil is one of them as it regards the trade imbalance. Discussions of trade imbalances are directly related to interests in the economy's well being...correct?   

       Okay, with that assumed I'm lost to find the logic of aiding the economy by degreasing it...   

       Wouldn't this also reduce incentives in the transportation sector for distribution of all the white hats? Or did we ditch those finally?
hollajam, Oct 24 2002

       Did I just feel the wheels getting back on track...of course, Hollajam, but too much lubrication can be as bad as too little.   

       White hats are in. Red ribbons, in. I will not abandon this idea merely because if flies in the face of logic, rather I will protect and defend it – after all, it is my idea, right or wrong.   

       Don’t worry about transportation – we’ll supply our hats by cart, by horse…well, by postal service if we must.
ldischler, Oct 24 2002

       //too much lubrication can be as bad as too little// Can one ever be *too solvent*?

       Just a trivia question while I lube my bearings.
..Silence in the gallery!

       You know, ldischler, I've been thinking about UnaBubba's calculation of total area covered by the present six billion hatless heads. (Twenty five Manhatten Islands) While many consider that hardly significant an impact if capped, I think of it this way.
Six billion hatless heads is a specific quantitative function of the many factors effecting global climate at this moment. In other words our general weather trends are what they are because of many factors and one of the more significant ones being six billion hatless heads.

       Now if Six billion hatless heads become capped in white hats that impact becomes far more significant than if it were looked at in the way of thinking total land area covered... The math function changes significantly because the many dark heads are removed from the math and many white capped heads replace them. That is significant is it not?   

       ldischler, I'm ready to roller blade off into the sunset. I could take quite a few hats with me as I go. Are you coming with?
hollajam, Oct 24 2002

       Ah, at last, subsidies for baldies ! We slapheads have a measurably higher albedo than the fuzzytops. "Bald blokes save planet"   

       Just give me a moment's peace here, to bask in the reflected glory .....
8th of 7, Oct 24 2002

       Wait a second...I had a bottle of wine last night after being forced to watch an excruciating Chinese movie about a bicycle...let me get this straight – white heads, dark heads – we aren’t talking about zits are we. If so, the UN is just not interested…   

       Hollajam, I’d love to, but I left my kneecaps on a ski run. (I’m thinking of moseying over to Get-a-Life.)
ldischler, Oct 24 2002

       What happens when it's raining and everyone goes indoors?   

       Come to that, what percentage of the population are outside at any given time anyway?
Mayfly, Oct 24 2002

       If you wore your bonnet inside out it would be a big cup that you could collect things in.
blissmiss, Oct 24 2002

       [OmniBubble], point clarified. I needed my nap *before* I pointed that out. Thank you for pointing out my oversight because it leverages the point I was making that much further.   

       Baseline trends of our planets climate are effected by many factors one being six billion pro heat absorbing heads that amount to roughly the land area of one to a few Manhattans. I'm playing it safe to account for the range between smaller children's heads, afro hair styles, and people with just long hair down their backs okay? We'll call this value H for heat absorbing heads..   

       When the Garden Party Treaty is enacted value H will change in two ways. Not only will it cease to represent heat absorption it will also *reflect the increase of roughly six times the land area as before. What a bonus to the point I was trying to make. Be sure to get a free Garden Party Summit Cap just for that. At this point my accuracy is irrelevant since the real point is about the "direction" of change in two factors. [UB] Why am I not surprised that yet again you've made me feel like I am standing before all modeling the newest...slip?
hollajam, Oct 24 2002

       begin {newbie post}   

       I like the idea of big hats (although I'm not a hat person per se). They have the added advantage of masking your identity from the satellites while clubbing the seals to death.   

       However, given the calculations of average head size (and adjusting for Chinese and American averages), I don't think we spend enough time outside for hats to make that much difference. I think it would be *much* more worthwhile to paint the roofs of our houses white. This is better than roads (as already adequately covered) but some re-routing of aircraft flight paths may be necessary in the summer.   

       end {newbie post}   

       PS. you're all barking mad
jugglerBoy, Oct 25 2002

       Whilst you're ambling about in the cool shade of your enormous, white, wide-brimmed hat ponder this. Humans obtain most of their Vitamin D requirement by absorbing sunlight through the skin. Vitamin D and calcium are the things which keep your bones in good working order. So, if after a while you find that wearing your hat makes you feel weak at the knees, don't worry. It's probably only rickets.

Anyhow, wearing a reflective hat would only increase the problem of global warming wouldn't it? After all, at present, energy from the sun warms the atmosphere as it passes through on it's way to Australia and California, where the rest of it is converted into melanoma's by middle aged sun-worshippers. If these people all started wearing reflective clothing then all that energy would have a second go at powering up our atmosphere as it bounced back up towards space.
DrBob, Oct 25 2002

       Welcome to the HB! [jugglerBoy] Thats quite a good point. I would suggest a comprimise -- place giant white hats onto buildings.
Jinbish, Oct 25 2002

       This is advocacy. So [marked for deletion].
django, Aug 08 2006

       //This is advocacy.// An early posting. Not sure if the rule was in place then.
ldischler, Aug 08 2006

       Far more relevant than a random [mfd] - ldischler, you were spot on with those unlikely-looking predictions of New Orlean doom and gloom. Not sure congratulations are something you particularly want on this issue, mind...
david_scothern, Aug 08 2006


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