Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Corpus hit me

frenetic corpse apparatus
  (+19, -3)(+19, -3)
(+19, -3)
  [vote for,

This is a service that you can purchase before you die.

Your body is rigged discreetly to perform requested movements while you lay in wake.

For example your arm movements could be remotely controlled, and your corpse could be caused to smack specific individuals when they approach your body. (The individuals would have to be named and identified prior to your death.)

You might request that your corpse be automated to hug anyone that approaches.

You might request that your body sit up and your head revolve 360 degrees when prayers are said.

Computer controlled or remotely controlled by an individual who has been give a specific performance directive.

How it would work: Well it could be mechanical servos and motors etc.. or it could be as simple as electrode stimulation of nerves or something similar but I don't know too much about that.

vfrackis, Aug 31 2009

Chapman Baxter? http://en.wikipedia.../wiki/The_Day_Today
comedy executions [BunsenHoneydew, Sep 01 2009]

Chapman Baxter clip http://www.youtube....watch?v=a7zDebveHeM
<louis armstrong>Justice</louis armstrong> [calum, Sep 01 2009]


       Yes please. I'll take one.   

       Can the lips be animatized too, with a hidden speaker? If possible, I'd like to accompany myself on the piano, concluding with a cheery rendition of "Goodbye" a la Dudley Moore.
MaxwellBuchanan, Aug 31 2009

       I'll take the discount deal. When the implanted temperature sensor is triggered at the crematorium, my voice shouts "Hey! It's getting REALLY hot in here!".   

       By the way, this needs a proper category.
normzone, Aug 31 2009

       <sits up woodenly>   

       "I TOLD you I was ill..."
wagster, Aug 31 2009

       I want my corpse to up and do the "Thriller" dance. Bun!
DrWorm, Aug 31 2009

       This is down right hysterical. I love it. Oh the implications...I can see it now...
{{{{you rotten son of a bitch, I'm not even cold yet and you're already cheating on me, chortle chortle}}}}
blissmiss, Aug 31 2009

       Did someone say a proper category??? What, like moving dead person?
blissmiss, Aug 31 2009

       Ooh, lid control and motion tracking eye movement for me please.   

       I seem to recall that convicted multiple murderer Chapman Baxter was executed by the mechanically reanimated corpse of one of his victims.
calum, Sep 01 2009

       "The Throwback" by Tom Sharpe.
gnomethang, Sep 01 2009


       "I'll....be.... back....."   


8th of 7, Sep 01 2009

       Even with the most sophisticated nerve stimulation, a 360 of the head might be tricky. Otherwise [+]
loonquawl, Sep 01 2009

       Won't rigor mortis make all of this a little difficult?
RayfordSteele, Sep 01 2009

       yes Rigor is a problem and so would be a fully connected neck in certain circumstances.
vfrackis, Sep 01 2009

       // open coffins are very rare here //   

       Yes, but that's just the old "paper bag" problem, shirley ? If they weren't all so ugly, you wouldn't have to keep the lids closed........
8th of 7, Sep 01 2009

       The showing is usually the day / evening before the funeral service and burial. I would say that out of the ones I've attended, almost all were open-casket, save for the occasional cremation. I only remember one closed-casket because the remains weren't worth looking at after the accident.
RayfordSteele, Sep 01 2009

       I'm not dead yet.   

       I'm getting better.
ye_river_xiv, Sep 02 2009

       Don't forget the pointed ears.
RayfordSteele, Sep 02 2009

       /This is a service that you can purchase before you die./   


       Why can't I purchase it after I die?
goldbb, Sep 03 2009

       gonna go through all that trouble why not just pay to have yourself retrofitted and shamble around town for awhile ?
FlyingToaster, Sep 03 2009


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