h a l f b a k e r y
On the one hand, true. On the other hand, bollocks.
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Okay, my apologies in advance to those who aren't used to waking up to the smell of alfalfa with the milk removed.
It's pretty well documented that cows like music. Playing music to cows results in better growth, more milk production, and a calmer disposition. This can be very important on those
winter mornings when the heifers come into the milking barn with their tails frozen solid and their moods in a knot...
Cows are musical creatures. They vocalize to each other; they have a very wide range of expression. From contented lowing, through a gently reminding moo, to an outraged bellow - cows are seldom lacking in communicating their needs to their keepers. And a cow in full voice, while not likely to shatter a wine glass, can certainly send ripples across the windshield of your tractor from three furlongs off.
Too many insensitive people think "music for cows" is just "country music". This couldn't be more wrong. Country music often glamorizes roping, branding, harassment, imprisonment and mutilation of cows. They are really sweet, sensitive individuals who don't willingly go for such things.
So throw down the guitar and let's find some music a cow can appreciate. Probably something with pipe organs. Synthesized shallow glissandos and rounded vowels. Consonants designed for a bovine's limitations, and crescendos tailored to their strengths.
It might not sound too musical to us. But to them - well, we can only wait to hear what they say.
[thumbwax, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 06 2004]
[beauxeault, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 06 2004]
The Singing Cow
[Amos Kito, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 06 2004]
Music for cows
[sufc, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 06 2004]
I'm a Cow
A Flash Animation. (Rated PG-13) [Cedar Park, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 06 2004]
I am cow.
[2 fries shy of a happy meal, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 06 2004]
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Description (displayed with the short name and URL.)
||[In anticipation of innumerable cow puns...]
||Will you have different moosic for different mooods?
Sooothing, melodic moosic whilst milking,
Faster, rhythmic moosic whist chewing the cud
and Beefed up, jazz whilst in the bulls pen.
||// let's find some music a cow can appreciate. //
||I thought that's what Barry Manilow was doing all this time.
||C'mon, [waugs], cows do have *some* taste.
||//well, we can only wait to hear what they say.//
||I think I could make a pretty good guess. Starts with "m"...
||I imagine something like a gregorian chant, but all tubas and contrabassoons.
||[Amos Kito] That link was truly Godawful. Well Found!.
||I'll whip something up for them on my Holstein-way. Until then, enjoy the [link].