Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Bone to the bad.

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Croon-a-Rant

Scores your complaints to a catchy melody
 
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A program which processes your complaint into a song. Simply click on the "Rant Composition Wizard" , and speak (yell) about what's wrong, recording onto a .wav or other sound format. Then choose one of several music formats. The beta version has: Country Western, Smooth Jazz, Hip-Hop, Whiny 90's, Blues, and Broadway Hits. The program matches your rant with the best fit among each subcategory. Blues, for instance, would have songs with themes such as "I can't shake the blues," or "My baby left me for my best friend." The program will examine the phrases and words of your spoken file, and will choose one of the subformats based upon the best match. There will be a highly digitalized and unemotional male or female voice to choose from. Then, you have the option to review, refine, and ask the program to try other formats. The complaint will be spoken along with the cheesy sounding music. Once you are happy with your musical complaint, Croon-a-Rant takes the battle to the offending party. Just enter the phone number, and a dialer would persistently call them until your complaint has been fully delivered while you do less stressful things.
flerper, Jun 10 2004

"Help Desk Remix" (MP3) http://members.iine...help_desk_remix.mp3
Here's one done in a heavy metal style. (Some strong language, might not be appropriate for work). [krelnik, Oct 05 2004, last modified Oct 21 2004]

[link]






       Com-plain song (sorry)
oneoffdave, Jun 11 2004
  

       Too bad it'll make it sound like less of a complaint.
yabba do yabba dabba, Jun 11 2004
  

       a smooth jazz rant hmmm... i like incongruity of that.
etherman, Jun 11 2004
  

       [marked for deletion] rant.   

       No, wait, that's not right...   

       ;)
DrCurry, Jun 11 2004
  

       What Punk is, er, was all about.
thumbwax, Jun 12 2004
  
      
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