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Cruelty free Fur Coats

Tailored and cruelty free fur coats.
  [vote for,

Fur coats have always been seen as highly desirable for hundreds, if not thousands, of years. It is only in the last few decades that modern sensibilities have tipped public opinion against fur because of the inherent cruelty involved. Cruelty and the fact that there exists a plethora of modern substitutes which are cheaper and more practical. Dozens of animals die to have their skins cut off them and sewn together to make a single piece of apparel. Real furs are non-utilitarian, socially-disapproved and very, very expensive. Nevertheless, the fur trade will not go away as fur retains a certain cachet and desirability within the moneyed set.

My solution is not prohibition - which rarely works. Instead, I propose to use the miracle of modern biotechnology to grow real fur coats in a totally sustainable and cruelty-free manner. First, the “donor” animal of choice – sable, mink, ocelot, polar bear, leopard or whatever - is painlessly captured and tranquilized. A highly trained medical team swiftly and carefully removes a small swatch of the animal’s skin under anaesthesia then treats the animal for whatever ailments, parasites, etc. it might have before returning it gently and lovingly to the wild. All documented of course.

The fur swatch is immediately refrigerated and transported back to the laboratory/factory where it is transplanted onto a mannequin which has been specially designed to provide the swatch with all the necessary growth mediums, nutrients and hormones it requires to eventually enshroud the entire mannequin. Once the mannequin is completely swaddled in rich, soft, luxurious real fur it is a simple matter to snip it off, tidy up the cuffs and neckline, and add buttons or any other accoutrements before selling it to Mrs. Van Gotlots at an exorbitant price.

A portion of the takings could be donated back to wildlife habitat preservation allowing Mrs. Van Gotlots to lord it over the girls at her next bridge game by ostentatiously swirling around in her 100% real (but cruelty-free) fur coat which everyone knows costs 3 times the price of Mrs Merely Riche’s guilt-laden, blood-dripping shoulderwrap. Real fur is now seen as a marker of one’s cruelty and mediocrity rather than true wealth.

A range of mannequins in the various sizes would be required and for a special “sitting fee” the wealthy matron (or perhaps P. Diddy and his ilk) can have a mannequin custom-made to their exact measurements. A genuine “Cruelty-Free but Real” fur garment can be easily discerned from imposters through the fact that it is made from a single contiguous fur. Inside linings will disappear otherwise people will think you’re trying to hide the guilty little secret that your latest fashion accessory is composed of the stitched together corpses of multiple cuddly critters.

Spin-off technologies would be offered to aid burn victims and other people who need to re-grow their own skin. I figure if an animal with a brain the size of a dried pea can grow a form-fitted sable fur coat, why can’t we? Perhaps we could combine the above notions and offer burn victims a choice of growing back their own skin or something REALLY neat.

AusCan531, Aug 12 2011

Lab grown leather http://www.gizmag.c...itro-leather/24441/
Hairless version [AusCan531, Oct 06 2012]

Prince Hairy as a starting point? http://openi.nlm.ni...4a2c3&npos=56&prt=2
[Phrontistery, Oct 07 2012]

Pet Coat Pet_20Coat
No cruelty here. [DIYMatt, Oct 07 2012]

Hunter-rug [xenzag, Oct 07 2012]

Butchers, Halfbakers, Candlestick makers... http://www.humanlea....co.uk/aboutus.html
[Phrontistery, Oct 07 2012]

Veblen goods http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Veblen_good
[normzone, Oct 08 2012]


       [AusCan531] - animal fur is a £100 million + yearly business. ie it's massive. I agree with your sentiments that it's a totally repulsive business, and that some sort of means of "growing" furs in a laboratory is desirable, but even it was achieved, unless it's cheaper than the "real thing" there will only be a limited market, and there will always those who will want to wear the hide of a real animal.
xenzag, Aug 12 2011

       You make a good point about pricing but at this stage I can only promise that the process would be expensive - which does add to the cachet for some. After time, with the economies of scale perhaps, the price will drop below the cost of raising minks in farms or finding and trapping individual sables in Siberia.
AusCan531, Aug 12 2011

       I like this idea, but I vaguely recall that vat-grown skin doesn't have hair follicles.
FlyingToaster, Aug 12 2011

       /vat-grown skin doesn't have hair follicles/ Part of its charm! It could be called Phur.
bungston, Aug 12 2011

       // vat-grown skin doesn't have hair follicles. //   

       This could be big news for the marital-aid industry.
Alterother, Aug 12 2011

              // vat-grown skin doesn't have hair follicles. //    That's 20th Century vat-grown skin you're thinking of. This is the 21st Century dammit! There should be an app for anything I want and exactly how I want it.
AusCan531, Aug 13 2011

       I really cannot be bothered to read all this but just to say its very tiring carrying all this fur around in a heatwave - I need to have a lie down and a heave... cough ...
The Kat, Aug 14 2011


       //parasites etc.   

       Picking the ticks is part of the family pastime and get together in bears, monkeys, ancient human tribes and modern parents in hot places. In memory of that ancient trend, human females (women) paint their fingertips to show their familism.   

       Besides, I thought fashion, along with global warming, is pushing towards less and less material.
pashute, Aug 14 2011

       I, for one, come from a long family line of nit-pickers and as I craved more of that comforting, familial feeling I joined the Halfbakers.
AusCan531, Aug 14 2011

       A more profitable solution would be to attach a small patch in the shape and with an image of an alligator, and sell it about 80 times the price of real fur.
pashute, Aug 16 2011

       well, taxidermists don't cause and trouble, because they let the animal die on its own. well, growing skin is futuristic. the fur will not be called cruelty free. it will be can humane-animal welfare aprooved.
davey l, Aug 17 2011

       well, ask the spca. they are awesome. they might have an answer to your question, auscan531 -davey l
davey l, Aug 17 2011


       When I read the title I thought perhaps you were lashing live animals together just long enough to go out to the opera.   


       uh, carry on...
Grogster, Aug 17 2011

       Partially baked. [link]
AusCan531, Oct 06 2012

       I'm pretty sure I could turn up a squirrel or skunk coat pretty much every year just based on road kill I see on my commute. Is there anywhere that has a large native mink population and lots of drivers?   

       Also with regards to price: Fur is most likely a Veblen good. There are plenty of cheaper options that work as well, and many that look as good. The only reason, then, to still buy real fur is for the cachet, which will go up as the price goes up. As such, the lab grown version will likely prove more popular iff it is more expensive than the standard.
MechE, Oct 06 2012

       It would be considerably more expensive than the natural thing for just the reason you mentioned. The purchaser could not only flaunt their fashion style and wealth, but also their 'conspicuous social conscience'.   

       "Of course it's so verrry expensive dahhhling, but when I think of those poor little animals who would otherwise suffer...."
AusCan531, Oct 06 2012

       you won't do it without stem cells, not that I find the concept objectionable. blended bear fetuses mmmm delicious
Voice, Oct 07 2012

       A pity there's no practical way to make cachet objects from, say, potato skins. Anyone up to the challenge of cultivating a silky-furred King Edward?
Phrontistery, Oct 07 2012

       // Real furs are non-utilitarian, socially-disapproved and very, very expensive.// I beg to differ! I wouldn't be able to survive a North Dakota winter without my trusty rabbit fur (I hope) Ushanka. Got it on eBay for $40, made in China, warmest hat in the world. Fake fur and insulated hats don't even compare. I suppose a cruelty free way of making real fur would be better so I grudgingly offer a bun, although there is something intriguingly virile about wearing a hat made of dead rabbits.   

       If you want to be cruelty free but still make a bold statement wearing fur, may I suggest the "Pet Coat" [link].
DIYMatt, Oct 07 2012

       Where exactly does the "cruelty" thing come from?   

       Mink are murderous vicious bad tempered little bastards. Most of the commercial furs come from members of the mustillidae clan- sable, ermine, mink - and really they're no loss.   

       You could get a nice sealskin coat, though, if you all clubbed together …   

       Cats are plentiful on your planet, so cat fur would be an inexpensive yet effective material to use. With luck, cats might become an endangered species …
8th of 7, Oct 07 2012

       The cruel part comes from the miserable conditions most of these animals must endure prior to a painful death, some being skinned alive. It says a lot about humanity when the suffering of the defenceless is seen to be acceptable behaviour in the service of a vapid, parasitic fashion industry.
xenzag, Oct 07 2012

       // miserable conditions most of these animals must endure prior to a painful death, some being skinned alive. //   

       Is it possible to buy lawyer-skin coats … ?
8th of 7, Oct 07 2012

       I suppose there could be.... just substitute "lawyer" for "hunter" in link.
xenzag, Oct 07 2012

       'Is it possible to buy lawyer-skin coats … ?'   

       See link.
Phrontistery, Oct 07 2012

       ^They'd be pretty thick, I reckon.
AusCan531, Oct 08 2012

       [8th of 7] my stomach hurts with laughter at the seal line.   

       Also, having come close to mustillidae, in the wild, I can't seriously believe that any evil pelt manufacturer would possibly attempt to skin them alive. Any benefits would simply be outweighed by the personal injury.   

       Perhaps we should give them plenty of space and vast supplies of free range food, in order to have a nice life before we kill them and wear them, perhaps we could put this wild space up in Russia or Canada where there is plenty of spare wilderness, oh hang on a sec I think my idea may have been baked !...
PainOCommonSense, Oct 09 2012


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