Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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DDT

[D]irect [D]ebit [T]olerance
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I was in a bad place a few years ago. Most of my half-baked ideas came from the overwhelming desire to annhilate my boss, or at least morph into her nemesis. I didn't; clearly I am unworthy.

Life seemed simpler then - a never ending stream of serious implications, complete with a witness to take notes, and the Tpau haircut. But, I digress. Again.

Notwithstanding (and i don't know about you, but i so want to be able to use that word more and more, or gargantuan [q.v. kill bill 2]) discovering UlladubUlla and,of course the second CD UllaDubUllaDubUlla very recently in Plymouth [or pli-mouth, as my daughter called it, with a reasonable inference of inflection given her twelve years on Earth], i had noticed that the best ideas appeared to come to me after a game of tennis with Sam [the wife], in the Looe bay "hoseasons" resort in Cornwall, or whilst listening to the latest Jeff Wayne remix whilst staring at the sun going down over the craggy coastline, whilst fermenting a full flagon of Scrumpy and more than a little B&C. [Inhale]

But actually, thats rubbish - sadly. The best ideas are always, ALWAYS, bourne of necessity [or drugs]. Hence why we were looking at our bank account, which had been hit pretty hard whilst on hols, we noted a Vodafone direct debit which had swelled by over 50% for no reason...

A phone call later [ironic], and the operator accepted that: a) we were paying £14 per month for a add-on package we had never asked for b) the package didn't work, so we were paying £14 for nothing c) and they had charged us for the package for at least ten months (which was supposed to be free) and for the texts which formed part of the package (which were also supposed to be free) d) the operator developed a nosebleed trying to work it out e) he passed out. Twice. f) i am sure i heard a deep gruff voice in the background saying "vermin" but that could have been just me.

Ka-Ching!

Ok,ok. right now, I guess you are saying - "Muppets". And you are right, it was our fault for not taking the time to check our bank acounts. But to be honest, I can't be arsed. I have nasel hair to pluck, shoes to shine, cornflakes to soak, testicles to be snipped, power saws to stop instantaneously and children to raise so they don't spend at least an hour typing ideas into a web site so other people can scorn them...

Let's add an extra box onto the direct debit form - "DDT" - a zone of tolerance. Above and beyond this, we are notified by the bank B4 it comes out of the account. So simple. Like toilet paper that cleans your bum. Let me know if I am being ripped off. Bankers! Rise!

Damn. If it thats simple...

Skybird, Aug 16 2006

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       [Skybird], there's a nice idea lurking in here. (+).   

       In summary : if a direct debitor takes more than an amount you set from your account, the bank notifies you.
neilp, Aug 16 2006
  

       I think you signed a bad contract and couldn't be arsed to actually read it.   

       I pay several things automatically and A. my bank would not accept any payment other than regular and B. I have the option of retrieving the money afterwards if I don't agree.
zeno, Aug 17 2006
  

       Oh, and I read the whole bit and liked it. Can't be arsed to vote though.
zeno, Aug 17 2006
  

       But if you had told Vodaphone that you would pay your account by variable direct debit, you must pay what they request; that's how variable direct debit works. If you assign some arbitrary upper limit, then rack up ten times that amount in call charges, why should anyone need to query it before they get their money? It's written into the VDD regulations that if the payee accidentally demands too much, they'll re-pay the excess.
angel, Aug 17 2006
  

       [Skybird] Your account will be automatically credited one croissant. Your account will be charged one croissant for this service. Thankyou.   

       And [Brau] Quite right - the idea is to notify beyond a given tolerance, not to deny payment.   

       Anyway, bunnage.[+]
zen_tom, Aug 17 2006
  

       my apologies for the length, and somewhat rambling of the idea [quaffed far too much chardonnay when I wrote it]. Anyway,in answer to the bit about variable payments, the idea is not to withold a direct debit payment, but to notify you if it goes beyond a certain tolerance - so you can check all is in order. Could be used to monitor mobile phone payments when in the hands of a teenager, for example. Or credit card in the hands of a missus. Mine, for example.
Skybird, Aug 20 2006
  
      
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