Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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DNA Sandwich

A personalized diet, guaranteed unique(ish)
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(+8, -6)
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Nobody truly knows the full function of all the DNA we carry around within each one of our cells. Some of it determines the colour of our eyes; some determines whether we are girls or boys. Yes, our DNA is the ultimate expression of what we are. So what could more natural than to use our body's own code to determine what to eat?

"DNA is made of two spiralling, intertwined strands. Each strand is a chain of chemical "building blocks", called nucleotides, of which there are four types: adenine (abbreviated A), cytosine (C), guanine (G) and thymine (T)."

Thanks, Wikipedia.

So each strand can be expressed as a long list of letters: ACGGTCA etc. So what we do is to assign meanings to each letter:
C = Cheese
G = Gherkin
A = 'Am
T = Toast.

Simply send a sample of bodily fluids to The DNA Sandwich Company, and they will sequence your DNA, and by splitting up the chain between successive 'T's, they can provide you with a list of what sort of sandwich to have every day for the rest of your life (there's plenty of DNA, so I don't foresee having to repeat any sequence). For example:

TACCGT: Double cheese, (h)am and gherkin.

TCCCT: Three Cheese Sandwich (nobody said they had to all be the same cheese)

TTT: ...um, maybe try a salad today.

So, by using this simple method, you can arrive at the ultimate in personalized diets. You are what you eat - why not eat what you are?

moomintroll, Oct 10 2006

Inspired by [wags] The_20Sandwich_20Sandwich
Inspired by the notations in the annos, really. [moomintroll, Oct 10 2006]

Individual diet book http://www.dadamo.com/
Eat right 4 your type diet takes in account your genetics [Pellepeloton, Oct 12 2006]

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       In theory, you should have some DNA in common with your siblings so, if you were struggling through a TGGGCCCACGGGT sandwich, for example, your elder sister might say - "Good luck, I remember having to eat that last year".
hippo, Oct 10 2006

       I've not been able to figure this out, but how do we know where the good bits are compared to the 'junk' bits? To be precise, where in the sequence does eye colour live? Does it work like that? Or do we have to wait for a certain pattern to come along that identifies a particular gene. How many bits to I have to go in before we get to the good stuff? And how do they tell the good bits from the rubbish bits? It would be handy to see a big long line with arrows pointing to where in the stretched-out sequence the variously interesting bits live - if it works that way - which it mightn't.   

       As for the notion: I'm considering a bun, but I want my sandwich regime to have some meaning, and am prone to occasional attacks of mild paranoia, so how can I tell they're not just sending me random strings of text, and having a good laugh every time I get to chew on a tetra-gherkin special?
zen_tom, Oct 10 2006

Heeheehee. Yeah, with a bit of luck some really spectacular sandwiches should result. But hey - it can't be bad for you, why would your body tell you to eat something bad for you? ;)

       [z_t] actually, there's no reason we should limit it to junk DNA, we might as well use the lot. Hereby edited.
moomintroll, Oct 10 2006

       apparently there are dna strands that repeat on us - I know that feeling.
po, Oct 10 2006

       [z_t] just had a thought vis-a-vis paranoia: when the Sandwich company send your code over, forward it on to Clones 'R' Us and have them make up the code. If you end up with a mini-you, you're safe. If not, don't eat the sandwich - who knows what could happen?
moomintroll, Oct 10 2006

       There's enough sequence in any person that a six base pair string will repeat thousands and thousands of times. You may rest assured that any six ingredient sandwich will be well represented in your cells.   

       [Zen_Tom] : The sections of DNA that do something (code proteins) are located in specific contexts that make it easy to tell that they are active.   

       As far as eye color is concerned, there is a specific section of DNA whose job is to produce a protein to color your eye, and associated proteins that transport the dye, activate it, etc, etc. A defect in many of these sequences of DNA (and therefore proteins) will cause a deviation from the default of brown eyes. In the most 'severe' case there will be no pigment, leading to blue eyes. Just some weak yellow pigments will lead to a green appearance.   

       Since not-brown eyes is not very detrimental, the different varieties have come to be well represented.
GutPunchLullabies, Oct 10 2006

       I vote we take the presence of bread as written and introduce a further ingredient. Apart from that, I don't want to have to just eat toast bread sandwiches for the rest of my puff. T=tomato
squeak, Oct 10 2006

       //our DNA is the ultimate expression of what we are// Hate to break the news to you moomie, but you have that arse-about, technically.
ConsulFlaminicus, Oct 10 2006

       Stick to the coding and use three base pairs for every ingredient. That way you can instantiate a reasonably varied diet. Gherkin? WTF?
daseva, Oct 10 2006

       I am not sure cheese, ham and toast represent a complete protean. Complete protean: contains all the amino acids that the human body is unable to produce itself in the necessary proportions. Besides your recipe leaves out the Jews (no cheese with meat) and Muslims (no pig). So the service has unnecessarily limited its market. Besides, a sandwich without spicy mustard, No way. You need to increase your encoding of ingredients, preferably run length limited.
cjacks, Oct 10 2006

       Actually, I think a Protean might be something entirely different, but I know what you mean [cjacks] ;)   

       [DrG] What's wrong with gherkin? It's a fine sandwich ingredient.   

       [CF] everything I need to know about science, I learned from reading the back of health food packets ;)
moomintroll, Oct 11 2006

       Would I be able to get my sandwitch wheat free but not gluten free? Meaning that I want 100 %rye bread.
Pellepeloton, Oct 12 2006

       Well, I dunno about that, I'll have to check with your genome.
moomintroll, Oct 12 2006

       I'll have a Palindrome genome, on toast, please.
Ling, Oct 12 2006

       Dudes, your idea has been thoroughly half baked already by comedy genius Chris Morris. In the Nathan Barley series, Nathan takes Claire to a finger restaurant in which a DNA scan of your finger decides what you want to eat. Unfortunately Claire, who is told her ideal meal of the day is a Steak Sandwich, is a vegetarian. Nathan protests, to which the waiter replies, "I'm sorry, we don't usually deviate from the finger."   

       Apart from that, keep it Mencap doll snatch! The idea is totally f*cking Mexico! Believe.
theleopard, Oct 12 2006

       //The idea is totally f*cking Mexico!//
I don't know what it means, but it's good , isn't it?

       (As the duck said to the robot.)
moomintroll, Oct 12 2006

       As a self-facilitating media node I can confidently say 'yes'. Totally f*cking Mexico is a good thing.
theleopard, Oct 13 2006


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