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Da Vinci Dog Collar

Utility "belt" for priests.
  (+10, -3)
(+10, -3)
  [vote for,

Some people might say that Dan Brown is a publicity seeking sensationalist seeking to improve book sales by peddling myths about strange ancient orders determined to destroy the Catholic Church.

Not me. I say it's better to be safe than sorry. So if I were a priest, I'd be investing in a new Da Vinci dog collar, just in case.

All the rage at the Vatican, the collar features a tracking device in case you're abducted from your church by The Priory, a lock pick in case you're incarserated by an albino monk, a holy water capsule, and a small magnestic tube containing a speck of antimatter, for real Illuminati emergencies.

I'm sure you can imagine some of the other gadgets attached...

Fishrat, May 31 2006

//But there is no dog// http://www.cyberspa...isplace/joke81.html
[ldischler, May 31 2006]

Da Vinci manure http://heritage.sco...id=542&id=609042006
Farmer cashes in. [oneoffdave, May 31 2006]

Illuminati Order http://illuminati-order.com/
A kinder, gentler illuminati [ionsfromzion, Sep 25 2006]


       i just had images of a priest wearing a builders utility belt as a garter around his spindley leg. it should have a spare pair of rosary beads with drops of snake venom for unruly priests.
tinpotbungle, May 31 2006

       Ooo can I lick your mind [phlish]?   

       Haven't read the book yet, but I'm told it's along the same lines as 'Angels & Demons' .. in which case have a bun for your idea. [+]
kuupuuluu, May 31 2006

       After seeing a picture of a farmer near Rosslyn Chapel selling bags of "Da Vinci Code Manure", you can sell anything if you brand it right.
oneoffdave, May 31 2006

       //a small magnestic tube //   

       Majestic? Magnetic?
DesertFox, May 31 2006

       either way selling da vinci code manure is a stroke of genius.
tinpotbungle, May 31 2006

       sp: incarcerated
sninctown, May 31 2006

       Thanks, [sninc]. Only just found time to change the spelling as I've been busy baking magnestium...
Fishrat, Jun 01 2006

       Magnestic sounds like a combination of agnostic and something which is repellant.
Perhaps it should be Magnostic.
Ling, Jun 01 2006

       Don't forget some burn-salve for your elemental ambiagram branding and maybe some sort strap on device to keep any sort of assassin from gouging your eyes out of your head. Note to monks or future popes.. move in tight groups, do not admit that you have had an illegitimate child, and do not trust some random guy on the phone who says that he has the deal of the century for you.... it's a trap!
ionsfromzion, Sep 25 2006

       Mild-mannered Dominican priest by day, Clergy Avenger by night! Armed with his Da Vinci utility belt, he wanders the catacombs of Vatican, thwarting the plots of the Illuminati... Maintaining that the Holy Grail is nothing but an oversized coffee mug (What sacrilege. A coffee mug can never be too big.)... Spanking the occasional agnostic into regular church attendance... Batman has got nothing on the Clergy Avenger!!! [+] for sarcasm.
Veho, Sep 25 2006

       But why a dog collar? Priests already wear priestly collars. Surely would-be assasins would be less likely to search an ordinary looking priestly garment.   

       Speaking of which, you could probably fit quite a bit more in their sash like "Yoke," sometimes worn for more formal ceremonies.
ye_river_xiv, Aug 19 2008


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